Rodney Dangerfield Quotes



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Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?' Rodney Dangerfield
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When I was born ... the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father ... I'm very sorry. We did everything we could ... but he pulled through. Rodney Dangerfield
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Life's a short trip. You'll find out. Rodney Dangerfield
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There goes the neighborhood. Rodney Dangerfield
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I don't get no respect! Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year. Rodney Dangerfield
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I don't get no respect Rodney Dangerfield
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At my age I'm envious of a stiff wind. Rodney Dangerfield
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A hooker once told me she had a headache. Rodney Dangerfield
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She was so ugly that her face could stop a sundial. Rodney Dangerfield
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She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history. Rodney Dangerfield
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I have three kids, one of each. Rodney Dangerfield
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Hey, did somebody step on a duck? Rodney Dangerfield
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my wifes cooking is so bad the flys fix our screens Rodney Dangerfield
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I'm not a hypochondriac, but my gynaecologist firmly believes I am. Rodney Dangerfield
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School is a place were you go to eat your lunch Rodney Dangerfield
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The way my luck is running, if I was a politician I would be honest. Rodney Dangerfield
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I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it. Rodney Dangerfield
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I like to date schoolteachers. If you do something wrong, they make you do it over again. Rodney Dangerfield
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I can't get no respect. Rodney Dangerfield
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