Phyllis Diller Quotes



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I am constantly being asked about individuals. The only way to win is as a team. Football is not about one or two or three star players. Phyllis Diller
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I'm from such an old family, it's been condemned. Phyllis Diller
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You know you're old if your walker has an airbag. Phyllis Diller
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Comedy is tragedy revisited. Phyllis Diller
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All mothers are working mothers. Phyllis Diller
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When I go to the beach, even the tide won't come in. Phyllis Diller
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You know what keeps me humble? Mirrors! Phyllis Diller
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I once wore a peekaboo blouse. People would peek and then they'd boo. Phyllis Diller
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You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone. Phyllis Diller
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I never made `Who's Who,' but I'm featured in `What's That?' Phyllis Diller
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag. Phyllis Diller
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Aim high, and you won't shoot your foot off. Phyllis Diller
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Burt Reynolds once asked me out. I was in his room. Phyllis Diller
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I became a stand-up comedienne because I had a sit-down husband. Phyllis Diller
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I'm eighteen years behind in my ironing. Phyllis Diller
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I buried a lot of my ironing in the back yard. Phyllis Diller
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The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. Phyllis Diller
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I was so wrinkled I could screw my hats on. Phyllis Diller
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self-pity is better than none. Phyllis Diller
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... if I invested in a mouthwash stock, bad breath would suddenly become popular. Phyllis Diller
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