Humorous Quotes On Aging



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No woman should ever be quite accurate about her age. It looks so calculating. Oscar Wilde
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There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine. P G Wodehouse
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Give me chastity and continence, but not yet. Saint Augustine
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I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do. Phyllis Diller
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I believe in loyalty. When a woman reaches an age she likes, she should stick with it. Eva Gabor
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Old age is like everything else. To make a success of it, you've got to start young. Theodore Roosevelt
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I've written songs for Shirley Bassey, Marianne Faithfull, and Linda Thompson. I sort of focus on these wonderful, aging divas. But maybe that's because I think I'm Christina Aguilera. Rufus Wainwright
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You can live to be a hundred if you give up all the things that make you want to live to be a hundred. Woody Allen
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The old believe everything, the middle-aged suspect everything, the young know everything. Oscar Wilde
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The first forty years of life give us the text; the next thirty supply the commentary on it. Arthur Schopenhauer
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I'm not going to get into the ring with Tolstoy. Ernest Hemingway
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Old age comes on suddenly, and not gradually as is thought. Emily Dickinson
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As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two. Norman Wisdom
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Progress was all right. Only it went on too long. James Thurber
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Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it. Dave Barry
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Mobile phones are the only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. Neil Kinnock
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You can't put a price tag on love, but you can on all its accessories. Melanie Clark Pullen
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There is not a more repulsive spectacle than on old man who will not forsake the world, which has already forsaken him. T S Eliot
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The kids are old enough now - I just want to let them be kids. I don't want to comment on them too much. They're at an age where I just want to let them be kids. Eminem
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My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on. Joan Rivers
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