George Carlin Quotes

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RELATED QUOTES

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? George Carlin
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Cancer research is a growth industry. George Carlin
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Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. George Carlin
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Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. George Carlin
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Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big. George Carlin
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We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all. George Carlin
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Think off-center. George Carlin
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Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free. George Carlin
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Where do we get our values from? George Carlin
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We created god in our own image and likeness! George Carlin
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The planet isn't going anywhere. We are. George Carlin
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Everything beeps now. George Carlin
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Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids George Carlin
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He is dead now, but he meant well. George Carlin
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Leadership camp? Isn't that where Hitler went? George Carlin
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Most people are not particularly good at anything. George Carlin
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You never see a smiling runner. George Carlin
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Mother's milk leads to everything. George Carlin
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. George Carlin
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I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius. George Carlin
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"No comment" is a comment. George Carlin
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So far, this is the oldest I've been. George Carlin
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Hooray for most things! George Carlin
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With humans it's abortion, but with chickens it's an omelet. George Carlin
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? George Carlin
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An art thief is a man who takes pictures. George Carlin
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Give now. Somewhere, someone feels crappy. You can help. George Carlin
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Christian Deodorant: "Thou Shalt Not Smell" George Carlin
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A pear is a failed apple. George Carlin
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Professional soldiers are people who die for a living. George Carlin
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But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would! George Carlin
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So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60. George Carlin
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Bullshit is truly the American soundtrack. George Carlin
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It's all bullshit, folks and it's bad for ya. George Carlin
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I have lots of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck. George Carlin
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Tits always look better in a pink sweater. George Carlin
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Would a fly without wings be called a walk? George Carlin
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A cat will blink when struck with a hammer. George Carlin
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