George Carlin Quotes


Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? George Carlin

Cancer research is a growth industry. George Carlin

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. George Carlin

Some people think of the glass as half full. Some people think of the glass as half empty. I think of the glass as too big. George Carlin

We spend the early years feeding our brains with information and the latter half trying not to think about it all. George Carlin

Regarding jam sessions: Jazz musicians are the only workers I can think of who are willing to put in a full shift for pay and then go somewhere else and continue to work for free. George Carlin

We created god in our own image and likeness! George Carlin

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids George Carlin

Everything beeps now. George Carlin

Leadership camp? Isn't that where Hitler went? George Carlin

You never see a smiling runner. George Carlin

The coke made me incredibly horny. George Carlin

I'm 63 now. But that's just 17 Celsius. George Carlin

I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. George Carlin

Think off-center. George Carlin

"No comment" is a comment. George Carlin

So far, this is the oldest I've been. George Carlin

Hooray for most things! George Carlin

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains? George Carlin

An art thief is a man who takes pictures. George Carlin



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