Funny Western Quotes



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If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster. Clint Eastwood
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John Stockton is one of the true marvels, not just of basketball, or in America, but in the history of Western Civilization! Bill Walton
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What do I think of Western civilization? I think it would be a very good idea. Mahatma Gandhi
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But you have to understand, my beard is so nasty. I mean, it's the only beard in the history of Western civilization that makes Bob Dylan's beard look good. Bill Walton
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I have a real respect for tobacco as a substance, and it just seems very funny how the Western attitude is, "Wow, people are addicted to this, think of all the money you can make off it." Jim Jarmusch
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The kind of pace that you want to use in a Western - just to acknowledge the land in the distance that everyone has to travel, and the way things develop sort of slowly - it's almost the antithetical of what's currently going on in the movies, you know. Lawrence Kasdan
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But he knew people and he was head writer for Have Gun Will Travel, and if you took those early Star Treks that we did and put us in a western wardrobe and put us on wagon train going west, we can say the same lines. Majel Barrett
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Coca-Cola remains emblematic of the best and worst of America and Western civilization. The history of Coca-Cola is the often funny story of a group of men obsessed with putting a trivial soft drink "within an arm's reach of desire." But at the same time, it is a microcosm of American history. Coca-Cola grew up with the country, shaping and shaped by the times. The drink not only helped to alter consumption patterns, but attitudes toward leisure, work, advertising, sex, family life, and patriotism. Mark Pendergrast
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Don't get me wrong. I like Disney World. The rest rooms are clean enough for neurosurgery, and the employees say things like "Howdy, folks!" and actually seem to mean it. You wonder: Where do they get these people? My guess: 1952. I think old Walt realized, way back then, that there would eventually be a shortage of cheerful people, so he put all the residents of south western Nebraska into a giant freezer with a huge picture of Jiminy Cricket on the outside, and the corporation has been thawing them out as needed ever since. Dave Barry
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For my own part I don't object to old jokes- indeed, I reverence them. When sea-sickness and adultery have ceased to be funny, western civilization will have ceased to exist. George Orwell
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If you do a Western that's funny, there's no way people don't call it a spoof or a parody, even though it may not be. Adam Mckay
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Her blue eyes sought the west afar, For lovers love the western star. Walter Scott
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The emigrant's way o'er the western desert is mark'd by Camp-fires long consum'd and bones that bleach in the sunshine. Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
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I'm not crazy about country-western music. But the lyrics are good. Alice Cooper
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The legendary statistical consultant W. Edwards Deming, . . . has called the system by which merit is appraised and rewarded 'the most powerful inhibitor to quality and productivity in the Western world' . . . it is simply unfair to the extent that employees are held responsible for what are, in reality, systemic factors that are beyond their control. Alfie Kohn
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I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT Darynda Jones
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck
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No matter how lovesick a woman is, she shouldn't take the first pill that comes along. Joyce Brothers
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A man's wife has more power over him than the state has. Ralph Waldo Emerson
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When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. Helen Rowland
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