Funny Parenting Quotes

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(24/7) once you sign on to be a mother, that's the only shift they offer. Jodi Picoult
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Most of us become parents long before we have stopped being children. Mignon Mclaughlin
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To an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent. Dave Barry
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The child supplies the power but the parents have to do the steering. Benjamin Spock
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It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawn mower, snowblower and vacuum cleaner. Ben Berger
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In general my children refuse to eat anything that hasn't danced in television. Erma Bombeck
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To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while. Josh Billings
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Your kids require you most of all to love them for who they are, not to spend your whole time trying to correct them. Bill Ayers
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Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them. P. J. O'Rourke
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You see much more of your children once they leave home. Lucille Ball
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Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up. Ray Romano
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Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry. Bill Cosby
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It's not only children who grow. Parents do too... Joyce Maynard
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Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. Phyllis Diller
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The thing that impresses me most about America is the way parents obey their children. King Edward VIII
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It behooves a father to be blameless if he expects his child to be. Homer
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The voice of parents is the voice of gods, for to their children they are heaven's lieutenants. William Shakespeare
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No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal. Bill Cosby
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Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child. Gail Sheehy
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The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant, and let the air out of the tires. Dorothy Parker
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