Funny Criminal Quotes


It's funny that they've called homosexuality a crime... At this rate, everyone will be a criminal. Kangana Ranaut

Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely. P. J. O'Rourke

Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin

Life is nothing but a competition to be the criminal rather than the victim. Bertrand Russell

When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not. Mark Twain

The family is a haven in a heartless world. Christopher Lasch

We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read- Mark Twain

If Spiderman was real, and I was a criminal, and he shot me with his web, I would say, "Dude, thanks for the hammock." Mitch Hedberg

Without heroes, we are all plain people and don't know how far we can go. Bernard Malamud

One need not be a chamber to be haunted; One need not be a house; The brain has corridors surpassing Material place. Emily Dickinson

When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. Mark Twain

The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. George Bernard Shaw

One need not be a chamber to be haunted. Emily Dickinson

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. H L Mencken

The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense. Edsger Dijkstra

Justice without force is powerless; force without justice is tyrannical. Blaise Pascal

I was always funny, but I didn't know being funny was a gift. Niecy Nash

I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.' Tracy Morgan

you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!! Bill Maher

Kilometers are shorter than miles. Save gas, take your next trip in kilometers. George Carlin



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