Funny Couple Quotes


Opinions are like feet. Everybody's got a couple, and they usually stink. Jim Slattery

When a couple of young people strongly devoted to each other commence to eat onions, it is safe to pronounce them engaged. James Montgomery Bailey

My mother once told me that if a married couple puts a penny in a pot for every time they make love in the first year, and takes a penny out every time after that, they'll never get all the pennies out of the pot. Armistead Maupin

Ideally, couples need three lives; one for him, one for her, and one for them together. Jacqueline Bisset

It's been said a thousand ways by hundreds of different people through the years, but is still as true as ever. If mamma ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. Yellow H. Most couples have not had hundreds of arguments; they've had the same argument hundreds of times. Gay Hendricks

Unix gives you just enough rope to hang yourself - and then a couple of more feet, just to be sure. Eric Allman

There we go, that's it. I just hold my hand in this position for the next couple of hours. Bill Bailey

My cousin had a baby and I was watching her breastfeed for a couple of bucks, and I'll tell you ladies: it's amazing. Dave Attell

A couple weeks ago I was on the street and I saw an ugly pregnant lady, and I just thought, 'Good for you.' Demetri Martin

Trousers can never be too tight. You have to go through a couple of days of pain, then everything stretches out. Noel Fielding

Walt is dead. And, after a couple of hours at Epcot, you'll wish you were, too. P. J. O'Rourke

Did you sleep well?" "No, I made a couple of mistakes. Steven Wright

Those two are a fastidious couple. She's fast and he's hideous. Henny Youngman

Mom and Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three. Billie Holiday

It's funny when you get married, you do find other couples to hang out with. Jennifer Lopez

This is it. It's for all the marbles. I'm sitting in the house loading up the pump, I'm loading up the Uzis, I've got a couple of M-16s, couple of nines, couple of joints with some silencers on them, couple of grenades, got a missile launcher. I'm ready for war. Kevin Garnett

There are a couple hard things. One, getting a funny idea that people can relate to; a funny idea or a funny script; there's a million pitches. David Spade

I had a couple of decent laughs on Townies, but for the most part, delivering a joke that you just know is not funny is hard. Eric Mccormack

The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. Eden Ahbez

Relationships dont always make sense. Especially from the outside Sarah Dessen



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