Erma Bombeck Quotes



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Some say our national pastime is baseball. Not me. It's gossip. Erma Bombeck
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It goes without saying that you should never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck
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God created man, but I could do better. Erma Bombeck
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Housework, if you do it right, will kill you. Erma Bombeck
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Most women put off entertaining until the kids are grown. Erma Bombeck
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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect. Erma Bombeck
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Cats invented self-esteem. Erma Bombeck
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Every puppy should have a boy. Erma Bombeck
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When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others. Erma Bombeck
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job. Erma Bombeck
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A child needs your love most when he deserves it least Erma Bombeck
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Never have more children than you have car windows. Erma Bombeck
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My kids always perceived the bathroom as a place where you wait it out until all the groceries are unloaded from the car. Erma Bombeck
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I've exercised with women so thin that buzzards followed them to their cars. Erma Bombeck
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How come anything you buy will go on sale next week? Erma Bombeck
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Who in their infinite wisdom decreed that Little League uniforms be white? Certainly not a mother. Erma Bombeck
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Onion rings in the car cushions do not improve with time. Erma Bombeck
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat. Erma Bombeck
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Before you try to keep up with the Joneses, be sure they're not trying to keep up with you. Erma Bombeck
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Car designers are just going to have to come up with an automobile that outlasts the payments. Erma Bombeck
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