Erma Bombeck Quotes



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A grandparent will accept your calls from anywhere, collect. Erma Bombeck
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Cats invented self-esteem. Erma Bombeck
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Every puppy should have a boy. Erma Bombeck
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When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others. Erma Bombeck
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My mind works . . . two boobs never get me a job. Erma Bombeck
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A child needs your love most when he deserves it least Erma Bombeck
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I have paid as much as $300 a night to throw up into a sink shaped like a seashell. Erma Bombeck
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Once you see the drivers in Indonesia you understand why religion plays such a part in their lives. Erma Bombeck
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Cleaning the house while the children are home is like shoveling while it's still snowing. Erma Bombeck
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There would have been more 'I love you's' and more, 'I'm sorry's'. Erma Bombeck
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I got so much food spit back in my face when my kids were small, I put windshield wipers on my glasses. Erma Bombeck
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Cats invented self-esteem; there is not an insecure bone in their body. Erma Bombeck
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Know the difference between success and fame. Success is Mother Teresa. Fame is Madonna. Erma Bombeck
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No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday. Erma Bombeck
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Why take pride in cooking, when they don't take pride in eating? Erma Bombeck
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Babies on television never spit up on the Ultrasuede. Erma Bombeck
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It's [motherhood] the biggest on-the-job- training program in existence today. Erma Bombeck
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It's frightening to wake up one morning and discover that while you were asleep you went out of style. Erma Bombeck
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You show me a boy who brings a snake home to his mother and I'll show you an orphan. Erma Bombeck
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up. Erma Bombeck
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