Divorce Humor Quotes


Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. Groucho Marx

Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Robin Williams

Each divorce is the death of a small civilization. Pat Conroy

Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce? Natasha Leggero

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. Lewis Grizzard

For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have. Woody Allen

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. Henny Youngman

It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much." Frank Carson

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always Red Skelton

I divorce myself from listeners who aren't tolerant of humor. I did notice universally that, especially when it comes to weight, people look in the mirror and get the angle just right, tell themselves it's all right, and then they go out. Ben Folds

The divorce rate would be lower if instead of marrying for better or worse people would marry for good. Ruby Dee

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. Mary Blakely

Marriage is the hardest thing you will ever do. The secret is removing divorce as an option. Anybody who gives themselves that option will get a divorce. Will Smith

When there are kids involved, there's no such thing as divorce. Carl Whitaker

Nobody in love has a sense of humor. S. N. Behrman

I've got a great sense of humor. Anthony Hopkins

The happiest time of anyone's life is just after the first divorce. John Kenneth Galbraith

Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. Larry Gelbart

There is no defense against adverse fortune which is so effectual as an habitual sense of humor. Thomas Wentworth Higginson

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. Tommy Manville



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