Divorce Humor Quotes



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Marriage is the chief cause of divorce. Groucho Marx
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Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet. Robin Williams
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In Palm Springs, they think homelessness is caused by bad divorce lawyers. Garry Trudeau
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I've given my memoirs far more thought than any of my marriages. You can't divorce a book. Gloria Swanson
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Divorce these days is a religious vow, as if the proper offspring of marriage. Tertullian
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My divorce came to me as a complete surprise. That's what happens when you haven't been home in eighteen years. Lee Trevino
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Why does every flight attendant seem like they are going through a divorce? Natasha Leggero
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Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and give her a house. Lewis Grizzard
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it. Henny Youngman
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It's my wife Ruth's birthday soon. I said to her: "What would you like for your birthday?" She said: "I want a divorce." I said: "I wasn't planning on spending that much." Frank Carson
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I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always Red Skelton
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I divorce myself from listeners who aren't tolerant of humor. I did notice universally that, especially when it comes to weight, people look in the mirror and get the angle just right, tell themselves it's all right, and then they go out. Ben Folds
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Those who condemn gay marriage, yet are silent or indifferent to the breakdown of marriage and divorce, are, in my view, missing the real issue. Malcolm Turnbull
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Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. Mary Blakely
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I went through a divorce right as we were starting the show. My divorce became final right after we started shooting the first year, and during that time I was in such a low place. Lee Tergesen
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Anybody who's been through a divorce will tell you that at one point. they've thought murder. The line between thinking murder and doing murder isn't that major. Oliver Stone
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A spiritual process is not a divorce from life. It is an irrevocable love affair with life. Jaggi Vasudev
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In Hollywood, after you get a little success, the next thing you usually get is a divorce. Dan Dailey
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When there are kids involved, there's no such thing as divorce. Carl Whitaker
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People lie all the time in their divorce proceedings, especially when custody is an issue. Megyn Kelly
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