50 Funny Quotes


Sex appeal is 50% what you've got and 50% what people think you've got. Sophia Loren

Only a few things are really important. Marie Dressler

Never go for a 50-50 ball unless you're 80-20 sure of winning it. Ian Darke

We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves. Marie Dressler

If there is a 50-50 chance that something can go wrong, then 9 times out of ten it will. Paul Harvey

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. Phyllis Diller

The years between fifty and seventy are the hardest. You are always being asked to do things, and yet you are not decrepit enough to turn them down. George Eliot

The Games have been decimated. If you take away the Eastern Bloc, you take away 50% of the medals Ron Pickering

My Irish mate told me, if you file down the edges of a 50 pence piece, you can use it as a 10p. Frank Carson

You 50 year old one-breasted bag of meat. Just hang it up and be grateful some of your friends are still living. Jim Norton

You know it's only 50 miles from Grand River to Canton, but it took me 67 years to travel that distance. Don Shula

Moral indignation in most cases is, 2% moral, 48% indignation, and 50% envy. Vittorio De Sica

For whatever reason, the films I gravitate towards do have these strange sort of tonal balances to them... I kind of realized on '50/ 50' why I liked these blending of tones, because I think it's kind of what life is like: funny one minute, sad the next, scary the next. Jonathan Levine

By the time we hit fifty, we have learned our hardest lessons. We have found out that only a few things are really important. We have learned to take life seriously, but never ourselves. Marie Dressler

Some turn to vinegar, but the best improve with age. C. E. M. Joad

Youth is the gift of nature, but age is a work of art. Stanislaw Jerzy Lec

At 50, don't let aging get you down. It's too hard to get back up. Happy 50th birthday. H. H. Asquith

When I was 40, my doctor advised me that a man in his 40s shouldn't play tennis. I heeded his advice carefully and could hardly wait until I reached 50 to start again. Hugo Black

They're always going, don't deal with terrorists. Let's deal with them. What's Allah offering you boys, 100 virgins? We'll give you 50 slags. Frankie Boyle

The BBC did a survey of the top 50 things to do before we die. Not while we're still alive, before we die. Bill Bailey



50 Funny Quotes, 50 50 Relationship Quotes, Funny 50 Birthday Quotes, Funny Quotes About 50, Funny Turning 50 Quotes, Top 50 Funny Quotes, 50 and Fabulous, 50 Anniversary Quotes, 50 Birthday Quotes, 50 Cent Quotes, 50 Greatest Quotes, 50 Shades Quotes, 50 Word Quotes, 50 Year Birthday, 50 Years Quotes, Funny Sayings for Turning 50, 50 Activities Coaching Mentoring, 50 Best Travel Quotes, 50 Cent Famous Quotes, 50 Cent Quotes Inspiring,