365 Funny Thoughts



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Gluttony and surfeiting are no proper occasions for thanksgiving. Charles Lamb
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He who laughs last, thinks slowest. Larry The Cable Guy
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The elevator to success is out of order, but the stairs are always open. Zig Ziglar
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The elevator to success is out of order. You'll have to use the stairs... one step at a time. Joe Girard
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When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. Albert Einstein
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On Thanksgiving Day we acknowledge our dependence. William Jennings Bryan
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. Rita Rudner
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Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving. Mike Connolly
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Were it not for the shepherds, there would have been no reception. And were it not for a group of stargazers, there would have been no gifts. Max Lucado
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Roses are reddish Violets are bluish If it weren't for Christmas We'd all be Jewish. Benny Hill
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Thinking and Thought: Thoughts are funny little things, They can make paupers or make kings. Sydney Madwed
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I could dance with you until the cows come home. On second thought I'd rather dance with the cows until you come home. Groucho Marx
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The thought of you being removed from the rotation is not funny to me. John Green
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Now blessings light on him that first invented this same sleep. It covers a man all over, thoughts and all, like a cloak. Miguel De Cervantes
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The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese Steven Wright
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I had two thoughts about it. One was I could do that, and the next one was I'll never get to do that. Adam Carolla
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Collectively and individually fielding is largely a matter of thoughts and discipline. Ian Peebles
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Tomorrow is the first blank page of a 365-page book. Write a good one. Brad Paisley
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A merry Christmas to everybody! A happy New Year to the world! Charles Dickens
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I am motivated by the fact that in the next 365 days, 136,000 Californians will die and most of them will go into an eternity without Christ. In the next 365 days, 2.4 million Americans will die; most of them will go into eternity without Christ. In the next 365 days, 74 million people in the world will go into eternity without Christ and without hope. I can't live with that. Rick Warren
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