21st Funny Quotes


If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. Steven Wright

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. Bob Newhart

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Groucho Marx

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back. Oscar Wilde

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Groucho Marx

You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Steven Wright

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. Albert Einstein

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT Darynda Jones

I never thought I was funny, but I enjoy being funny Nora Dunn

I don't control the line of 'funny,' 'funny,' 'funny,' 'not funny.' Tracy Morgan

If you can't convince them, confuse them. Harry S Truman

you know... there is a name for people who are always wrong about everything all the time.... husband!!! Bill Maher

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. W C Fields

The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. Helen Hayes

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Steven Wright

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met. Rodney Dangerfield

Although there are many trial marriages... there is no such thing as a trial child. Gail Sheehy

My father only hit me once, but he used a Volvo. Bob Monkhouse

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. Douglas Adams

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man. Lana Turner



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