1000 Funny Quotes


It's funny how things seem different, suddenly. Kim Edwards

My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, "Crick". Henny Youngman

So I went to a club the other day, which is timely because my self esteem had been hovering right around 'normal' and I had been meaning to knock it down to negative 1000. Mike Birbiglia

Marriage is give and take. You'd better give it to her or she'll take it anyway. Joey Adams

If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. Steven Wright

The problem is that we live in an uptight country. Why don't we just laugh at ourselves? We are funny. Gays are funny. Straights are funny. Women are funny. Men are funny. We are all funny, and we all do funny things. Let's laugh about it. Bob Newhart

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife. Groucho Marx

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. Steven Wright

Like many women my age, I am 28 years old. Mary Schmich

A comedian's body is funny as well as his mind being funny, his whole personage is funny. Bobby Darin

Women are cursed, and men are the proof. Roseanne Barr

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot. Groucho Marx

You can't have everything. Where would you put it? Steven Wright

Funny is funny is funny. Bob Newhart

It's good to be in love. Kim Edwards

Short on money, long on hope Kim Edwards

He had never even glimpsed her. Kim Edwards

I like clothes that are elegant and comfortable. Kim Edwards

When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. Albert Einstein

I intend to live forever. So far, so good. - T-SHIRT Darynda Jones



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