Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


I've never felt Truth was Beauty. Never. I've always felt that people can't take too much reality. I like being in Ingmar Bergman's world. Or in Louis Armstrong's world. Or in the world of the New York Knicks. Because it's not this world. You spend your whole life searching for a way out. You just get an overdose of reality, you know, and it's a terrible thing. I'm always fighting against reality. Woody Allen
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This sounds so bleak when I say it, but we need some delusions to keep us going. And the people who successfully delude themselves seem happier than the people who can't. Woody Allen
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Curiosity, that's what kills us. Not muggers or all that bullshit about the ozone layer. It's our own hearts and minds. Woody Allen
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His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy. Woody Allen
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Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies. Woody Allen
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A tree never hits an automobile except in self defense. Woody Allen
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I can't express anger. I grow a tumor instead. Woody Allen
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Some people want to achieve immortality through their works or their descendants. I prefer to achieve immortality by not dying. Woody Allen
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The process of making films is so technically demanding that it's a distraction. You don't spend your time thinking about the philosophical content, which is often very depressing. Woody Allen
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People say that death is a part of life and there must be something to it, but I just see it as bad news and I want everybody to stop sugarcoating it. Woody Allen
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I'd always wanted to be a dramatic. Comedy comes more naturally to me. I can do it with more facility. So I feel more comfortable with it. Woody Allen
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I don't believe in competition for artistic things. I just like the atmosphere of the Cannes festival. I don't want to win anything or lose anything. Woody Allen
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I'm really impotent against the overwhelming bleakness of the universe and the only thing I can do is my little gift [filmmaking] and do it the best I can, which is cold comfort. Woody Allen
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Everybody knows how awful the world is and each person distorts it in a certain way that enables him to get through. Some people distort it with religious things, others with sports, money, love, art, and they all have their own nonsense about what makes it meaningful, and all but nothing makes it meaningful. These things definitely serve a certain function, but in the end they all fail to give life meaning and everyone goes to his grave in a meaningless way. Woody Allen
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That's the way I feel about the world: there are certain problems that can only be dealt with that way - going out and doing them. As ugly a truth as that is, I do think it's the truth about the world. Woody Allen
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My heart says one thing. My head says another. Very hard to get your heart and head together in life. Woody Allen
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Nothing worth knowing can be understood with the mind. Woody Allen
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I always write the same way. I always write with a yellow pad and a ballpoint pen on my bed. And then I go and type it up afterwards. I've always done that. Those things become habitual. Woody Allen
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For some reason I've always had an irrational love for New York. There's no reason that you would necessarily like it on paper. It's very expensive. Woody Allen
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I'm a big believer in supporting the action on film with the appropriate music. It covers a multitude of sins. It's gotten me out of a lot of jams, over the years. So, music for me is a very big thing in films and I use it unashamedly. Woody Allen
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You look up after many years and you find that a film has become a classic because it's meaningful to people and alive, decade after decade. Woody Allen
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In fact, when they wake up in the morning, they're Jack Nicholson or Robert De Niro or Josh Brolin. And it's built-in, but they think it's all this other stuff. But it's not. They'd be great if they didn't think about their part or if they did think about it. Woody Allen
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I work all the time because it's a great distraction and it keeps me from sitting home and obsessing morbidly. Woody Allen
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I'd like to make a great movie. I've made many movies. I think I've made some good movies. I've never felt I've made a great movie. Woody Allen
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When I was a young man, my friends and I and all of us in New York were very influenced by French cinema. French cinema played an enormous influence on those of us who wanted to be filmmakers. Woody Allen
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It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
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... years of insanity have made this guy crazy! Woody Allen
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I don't why whatever works and whatever doesn't. You just make the film that you enjoy making at the time, and you think there's a good chance that people might enjoy the story. You're surprised pleasantly when they do. It's just luck. Woody Allen
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I've been escaping my whole life. Since I was a little child, I escaped into the movies on the other side as an audience member. I escaped by going into the movies and sitting in the movies all day long. Woody Allen
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I keep getting more and more ambitious. Over the years, to some degree, in some areas, I feel I've grown. In some areas, I made a fool of myself. In some areas, I think I can still do some funny things. Woody Allen
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There is no advantage getting older. You don't get smarter, you don't get wiser, you don't get more mellow, you don't get more kindly, nothing good happens. Your back hurts more, you get more indigestion, your eyesight isn't as good, you need a hearing aid. It's a bad business getting old and I would advise you not to do it if you can avoid it. It doesn't have a romantic quality. Woody Allen
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Love is the answer. But while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions. Woody Allen
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. Woody Allen
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After all, there are worse things in life than death. If you've ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman, you know what I'm talking about. Woody Allen
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Sonja: Violence is justified in the service of mankind! Boris: Who said that? Sonja: Attila the Hun! Boris: You're quoting a Hun to me? Woody Allen
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Sonja: I do believe that this is truly the best of all possible worlds. Boris: Well, it's certainly the most expensive. Woody Allen
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I can't listen to that much Wagner, ya know ? I start to get the urge to conquer Poland. Woody Allen
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The most beautiful words in the English language aren't "I love you" but "it's benign." Woody Allen
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Cloquet hated reality but realized it was still the only place to get a good steak. Woody Allen
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I was so touched by her that, after fifteen minutes, I wanted to marry her and, after half an hour, I completely gave up the idea of snatching her purse. Woody Allen
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I object, your honor! This trial is a travesty. It's a travesty of a mockery of a sham of a mockery of a travesty of two mockeries of a sham. Woody Allen
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And my parents finally realize that I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: they rent out my room. Woody Allen
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I'm a nice person! I have healthy life drives and goals! I don't drink, I don't smoke. I would never force myself sexually on a blind person! Woody Allen
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My wife is immature. Whenever I take a bath, she sinks my boats. Woody Allen
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Side Effects Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on the weekend. Woody Allen Sex alleviates tension. Love causes it. Woody Allen
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I want to return to the womb, anyone's. Woody Allen
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I think there is too much wrong with the world to ever get too relaxed and happy. The more natural state, and the better one, I think, is one of some anxiety and tension over man`s plight in this mysterious universe. Woody Allen
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Well, trouble's my middle name. Actually, my middle name is Marion, but I don't want you spreading that around. Woody Allen
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When I was born my mother was terribly disappointed. Not that she wanted a girl - she wanted a divorce. Woody Allen
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What was the scandal? I fell in love with this girl, married her. We have been married for almost 15 years now. Woody Allen
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Life's hard, then you die. Woody Allen
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Rather than live on in the hearts and minds of my fellow man, I would rather live on in my apartment. Woody Allen
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When you make the film, there's a big difference between when you're in your own home at the typewriter, and when you're standing on a mountain, or on a street corner, and buses are coming by-it's a different reality. You make a million changes that were never in the script, but that reality dictates. Woody Allen
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Well, if I don't get at least 16 hours, I'm a basket case. Woody Allen
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Anything worth knowing cannot be understood by the human mind. Woody Allen
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I'm going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I"ll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It - with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead. Woody Allen
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This guy goes to a psychiatrist and says, Doc, my brother's crazy. He thinks he's a chicken. The doctor says, Well, why don't you turn him in? And the guy says, I would but I need the eggs. Well I guess that's pretty much how I feel about relationships. You know they're totally irrational and crazy and absurd but I guess we keep going through it because, uh, most of us need the eggs. Woody Allen
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There's no correlation between what the public likes and what I'm after. I'm in a different world. Woody Allen
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People ask me whether I think that one day I might wake up one morning and run dry, but I've had the opposite feeling - that I would die before I had time to write all the ideas in my drawer. Woody Allen
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Many people who get a lot of money are willing to work with me for no money. This is true. Woody Allen
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Writing is great because you never have to meet the test of reality when you're writing. When I write the film is always a masterpiece at that point. I write and I make up things and budgets don't mean anything and it's great. Woody Allen
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Let's say there was no terrorism whatsoever and we were all very nice to one another and we were all kind, we still would be faced with an extremely cruel and hostile universe and existence and so I'm a great pessimist and I feel that it's impossible really to be happy, and that the best you can hope for is to be distracted. Woody Allen
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If you don't fail now and again, it's a sign you're playing it safe. Woody Allen
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I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't. Woody Allen
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic. Woody Allen
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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers Woody Allen
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For a while we pondered whether to take a vacation or get a divorce. We decided that a trip to Bermuda is over in two weeks, but a divorce is something you always have. Woody Allen
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There will be no major solution to the suffering of humanity until we reach some understanding of who we are, what the purpose of creation was, what happens after death. Until those questions are resolved we are caught. Woody Allen
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Today I saw a red and yellow sunset and thought, how insignificant I am! Of course, I thought that yesterday too, and it rained. Woody Allen
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The government is unresponsive to the needs of the little man. Under 5' 7", it is impossible to get your congressman on the phone. Woody Allen
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