Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

That's one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing's real, it just lives. All the attendant hoopla about it, the success over it or the critical rejection-none of that really matters. In the end, the thing will survive or not on its own merits. Not that immortality via art is any big deal. Truffaut died, and we all felt awful about it, and there were the appropriate eulogies, and his wonderful films live on. But it's not much help to Truffaut. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me; the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I never start editing a film until it's completely shot; I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Every success is built on the ability to do better than good enough. As you climb the ladder of success, be sure it's leaning against the right building. Eighty percent of success is showing up. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

There are two important things in the world, the first is sex. The other isn't all that important. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

And my parents finally realize I'm kidnapped and they snap into action immediately: They rent out my room. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I don't respond well to mellow, you know what I mean, I have a tendency to... if I get too mellow, I ripen and then rot. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have you declared legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I sued American Apparel because they calculatingly took my name, my likeness and image and used them publicly to promote their business. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Life is hard for insects. And don't think mice are having any fun either. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

What is so fascinating about sitting around watching a bunch of pituitary cases stuff a ball through a hoop? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

All people know the same truth. Our lives consist of how we choose to distort it. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Meanwhile, the minute you put on the dotted line your Sam Hancock - and before a notary - you'll not only get the negative but Elsie makes a wonderful stuffed cabbage which we'll include gratis a few portions but return the jars please. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

[...] I've come to the conclusion that the artist can not justify life or come up with a cogent reason as to why life is meaningful, but the artist can provide you with a cold glass of water on a hot day. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Arlene and I have to get a divorce. She thinks I'm a pervert because I drank our water bed. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

This year I'm a star, but what will I be next year? A black hole? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The best an idea gets is when its in your head. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Sentence structure is innate, but whining is acquired. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

If you're not failing, you're not trying anything. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Showing up is 80 percent of life. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I would never wanna belong to any club that would have someone like me for a member. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Geez, I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I'm never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

That's one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing's real, it just lives. All the attendant hoopla about it, the success over it or the critical rejection-none of that really matters. In the end, the thing will survive or not on its own merits. Not that immortality via art is any big deal. Truffaut died, and we all felt awful about it, and there were the appropriate eulogies, and his wonderful films live on. But it's not much help to Truffaut. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

As an artist, you are always striving toward an ultimate achievement but never seem to reach it. You shoot a film, and the result could have always been better. You try again, and fail once more. In some ways I find it enjoyable. You never lose sight of your goal. I don't do my job to make money or to break box office records, I simply try things out. What would happen if I were to achieve perfection at some point? What would I do then? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Yes, but the difference is that when you're dead and somebody yells, 'Everybody up, it's morning,' it's very hard to find your slippers. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Basically I am a low-culture person. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

If man were immortal, do you realize what his meat bills would be?... Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I learned a few things on my own since, and modified some of the things he taught me, but everything, unequivocally, that I learned about comedy writing I learned from Danny Simon, Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Early in life, I was visited by the bluebird of anxiety Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Skeptic that I was as an adolescent, I had recently come to believe in a Supreme Being after thumbing through a Victoria's Secret catalogue. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

No matter what the shrinks, or the pundits, or the self-help books tell you, when it comes to love, it's luck. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I don't know what I want, but I know what I don't want Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

It is clear the future holds great opportunities. It also holds pitfalls. The trick will be to avoid the pitfalls, seize the opportunities, and get back home by six o'clock. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The artist's job is not to succumb to despair but to find an antidote for the emptiness of existence. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I don't know what I'm doing, but my incompetence has never stopped my enthusiasm. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I've always liked, someday the lamb will lay by the lion.... but it won't get much sleep. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Never shoot up in the air when you're standing under it. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

My experience creatively is different than my experience in life, for, as my father would say, the simple reason that you can't get hurt when everything goes wrong creatively. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I do believe that reality is dreadful and that you are forced to choose it in the end or go crazy, but that it kills you. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don't have. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I failed to make the chess team because of my height. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to achieve it through not dying. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I'm going to kill myself. I should go to Paris and jump off the Eiffel Tower. I'll be dead. you know, in fact, if I get the Concorde, I could be dead three hours earlier, which would be perfect. Or wait a minute. It - with the time change, I could be alive for six hours in New York but dead three hours in Paris. I could get things done, and I could also be dead. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Those who can't do, teach. And those who can't teach, teach gym. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

People always ask me, Do you ever think you'll wake up one morning and not be funny? That thought would never occur to me-it's an odd thought and not realistic. Because funny and me are not separate. We're one. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I know what I think but I don't know how to put it into words. Maybe I could get a little bit drunk and dance it for you. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

God, you Jews are truly exotic." Exotic? She should only know the Greenblatts. Or Mr. and Mrs. Milton Sharpstein, my father's friends. Or for that matter, my cousin Tovah. Exotic? I mean, they're nice, but hardly exotic with their endless bickering over the best way to combat indigestion or how far back to sit from the television set. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

In Beverly Hills... they don't throw their garbage away. They make it into television shows. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Who bothers to cook TV dinners? I suck them frozen. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I ran into Isosceles. He had a great idea for a new triangle! Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I wish I could think of a positive point to leave you with. Will you take two negative points? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

When I'm writing something, if there's a part that's good for me, then I'll play it. Otherwise, I don't. And I notice that there are less and less parts for me in my own writing. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I usually want to crawl into the ground after I make a film, almost invariably. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

And Nietzche, with his theory of eternal recurrence. He said that the life we lived we're going to live over again the exact same way for eternity. Great. That means I'll have to sit through the Ice Capades again. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Human existence is a brutal experience to me... it's a brutal, meaningless experience - an agonizing, meaningless experience with some oases, delight, some charm and peace, but these are just small oases. Overall, it is a brutal, terrible experience, and so it [salvation] is what can you do to alleviate the agony of the human condition, the human predicament? That is what interests me the most. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

You know, it's one thing about intellectuals, they prove that you can be absolutely brilliant and have no idea what's going on. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I am plagued by doubts. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Sylvia Plath. Interesting poetess whose tragic suicide was misinterpreted as romantic by the college-girl mentality. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I feel about New York as a child whose father is a bank robber. Not perfect, but I still love him. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:



<< PREVIOUS PAGE Page 6 of 14 | NEXT PAGE >
1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14  


RELATED TOPICS

Woody Allen Quotes, Death Woody Allen Quotes, Woody Allen Film Quotes, Woody Allen Movie Quotes, Woody Allen Quote Immortality, Annie Hall Woody Allen Quotes, Allen Ginsberg Quotes, Allen Quotes, Allen West Quotes, Edgar Allen Quotes, Toy Story Woody Quotes,