Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


I was nauseous and tingly all over. I was either in love or I had smallpox. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Spencer was searching for a woman interested in gold, inorganic chemistry, outdoor sex and the music of Bach. In short, he was looking for himself, only female. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Human beings are divided into mind and body. The mind embraces all the nobler aspirations, like poetry and philosophy, but the body has all the fun. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

One man starving puts a crimp in my evening. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The true test of maturity is not how old a person is but how he reacts to awakening in the mid-town area in his shorts. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

How does gravity work? And if it were to cease suddenly, would certain restaurants still require a jacket? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

How the hell do I know why there were Nazis? I don't know how the can-opener works. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The man who said 'I'd rather be lucky than good' saw deeply into life. People are afraid to face how great a part of life is dependent on luck. It's scary to think so much is out of one's control. There are moments in a match when the ball hits the top of the net and for a split second it can either go forward or fall back. With a little luck it goes forward and you win. Or maybe it doesn't and you lose. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Between the Pope and air conditioning, I'd choose air conditioning. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

In a relationship, it is better to be the leaver than the leavee. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Achilles only had an Achilles heel. I have an entire Achilles body. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I do occasionally envy the person who is religious naturally, without being brainwashed into it or suckered into it by all the organized hustles. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Believing would be easier if God would show himself by depositing a million dollars in a Swiss bank account in my name Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it's fantastic. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The difference between sex and death is, death you can do alone and nobody laughs at you. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

They were doing the Dying Swan at the ballet. And there was a rumor that some bookmarkers had drifted into town from upstate New York and that they had fixed the bullet. There was a lot of money bet on the swan to live. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I just can't listen to any more Wagner, you know...I'm starting to get the urge to conquer Poland. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

We are all interested in the future, for that is where you and I are going to spend the rest of our lives. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. That's the two categories. The horrible are like, I don't know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life. It's amazing to me. And the miserable is everyone else. So you should be thankful that you're miserable, because that's very lucky, to be miserable. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

If it turns out that there is a God...the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

For me personally - because I do it myself - the scoring of a picture is fun. I edit the picture and when I've finished I go into my room and I have many many records - jazz, classical and popular music. And I have this all at my disposal. I don't have to get a composer. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

What advice would I give the average homeowner to protect himself against burglars? Well, the first thing is to keep a light on in the house when you go out. It must be at least a sixty-watt bulb; anything less and the burglar will ransack the house, out of contempt for the wattage. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I foresee death by culture shock. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought, particularly for those who bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily laying down. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I'm trying to arrange my life so I don't have to be present. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

When you are dead, it is hard to find the light switch. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The great question of philosophy remains: If life is meaningless, what can be done about alphabet soup? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Have you ever noticed that good people sleep better, but bad people seem to have more fun when they're awake? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

My ex-wife was a philosophy major at NYU. Yeah, she and I used to have deep philosophical discussions where she would prove that I didn't exist. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I don't mind dying... as long as I don't have to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I've had bad luck in my two previous marriages. The first wife left me, and the second did not. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Is world peace possible or is the human race too innately aggressive? For instance: Have you ever seen women at a sample sale? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I don't know what the hell I'm doing here. I'm 237 years old, I should be collecting social security. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Nothing like a little post-traumatic stress disorder to make your day complete. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

After 60, all of us belong to the weaker sex. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I'm twelve years old. I run into a synagogue. I ask the rabbi the meaning of life. He tells me the meaning of life but he tells it to me in Hebrew. I don't understand Hebrew. Then he wants to charge me $600 for Hebrew lessons. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Don't worry, I know almost exactly what I'm doing. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

My relationship with American audiences is the exact same as it always has been. They never came to see my films, and they don't come now. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

That's one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing's real, it just lives. All the attendant hoopla about it, the success over it or the critical rejection-none of that really matters. In the end, the thing will survive or not on its own merits. Not that immortality via art is any big deal. Truffaut died, and we all felt awful about it, and there were the appropriate eulogies, and his wonderful films live on. But it's not much help to Truffaut. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

When I was young, I wanted to be a dramatic writer, a writer of tragedy. Nothing would've pleased me more than if I could have written like Eugene O'Neil or Tennessee Williams. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The comedies are not a million laughs on the set. Its business and the dramas are business as well, really. When I'm writing it I struggle more with drama because I started out in comedy. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I always felt that the problems of the world would never ever be solved until people came to terms with the deeper issues [spiritual] - that there would be an aimless reshuffling of world leaders and governments and programs. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

When it comes to sex there are certain things that should always be left unknown, and with my luck, they probably will be. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

What' s the matter with me? Why can't I be cool? Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Life is a tragedy filled with suffering and despair and yet some people do manage to avoid jury duty. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I, interestingly, had dated a woman in the Eisenhower Administration briefly, and it was ironic to me 'cause I was trying to do toher what Eisenhower has been doing to the country for the last eight years. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Doing abominations is against the law, particularly if the abominations are done while wearing a lobster bib. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I would not like to live in the past because you don't get anesthetic when you go to the dentist. You don't get antibiotics. You don't get the things that you are used to now, cell phones and televisions and things that are very convenient. You don't want that. But, it would be fun if you could, every now and then, just meet a friend for lunch at Maxim's in Paris in 1900, or go back to 1870 just for a couple of hours, take a walk in the park, and then come right back to Broadway. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Real life is generally much duller and inevitably sadder, most of the time. In film, you control everything that's going on, so you can indulge the most fantastic, romantic, escapist feelings and fantasies. You can do anything you want. That's why it's very seductive and pleasurable to earn your living making movies because you're not living in the real world. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I myself don't like to speak to the actors at all. I like to hire great people and let them do their thing. I don't like to speak to them. I don't like to have lunch with them. I don't like to socialize with them. I don't like to hear their ideas. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The less I speak to the actors, the better. And I always hire great people, and I don't want to impose my pre-conceived notions on them. They know how to play it. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

It shows exactly what you can do if you're a total psychotic. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I like filming in New York a lot myself, but London is accommodating to me; the weather's very good there and the conditions for shooting and the financial conditions, the artistic conditions are good, so it's a pleasant place to shoot. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I never start editing a film until it's completely shot; I don't edit along the way, ever. When it's finished I come in here and we start with reel one, scene one and start editing shot by shot by shot until we're finished. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

The prison psychiatrist asked me if I thought sex was dirty. I told him only when it's done right. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Magic has always been of a great interest of mine. I was an amateur magician when I was young. I used to practice and read up on it a lot. I'm well-aware of the history of magic. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

One of the wonderful things about making a film of any genre is that you have dialogue. You can take up a position. If you want to say something about your position, you can just say it. You don't have to spend massive amounts of screen time. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

You make a film and always hope you're going make "Citizen Kane" or "The Bicycle Thief." You make the film, and for one reason or another, one clicks and one doesn't, but it's out of your control completely. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I think it's my job or the artist's job, to try and find some solution or some reason to accept things. But given the grimmest reality, I feel the grimmest facts are the real facts, the true facts: that you're born, you die, you suffer, it's to no purpose, and you're gone forever, ever, ever, and that's it. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

It's important to control yourself because life gets too complicated if you don't, but the impulse is often there for people. Some say society should be more open. That doesn't work either. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

You make films whether they're dramas or comedies about neurotic people. Flawed people. Interesting personality traits. To make them about calm, stable untroubled people isn't interesting. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I wish my parents had raised me in Manhattan because I think it's the greatest thing you can do for a kid is to raise them in New York City. I can see this with my own children. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I wouldn't necessarily want to be a big muscular guy. It's nice to be gorgeous whether you're male or female assuming you don't lose whatever else you have. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

If I could change the structure of existence I would do it. I could see a better way to live for everybody. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

There have been times when I've thought of suicide but with my luck it'd probably be a temporary solution. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

80 percent of success is showing up Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Can we actually know the universe? My God, it's hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends. Woody Allen
Download Wallpaper:



<< PREVIOUS PAGE Page 5 of 14 | NEXT PAGE >
1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10   11   12   13   14  


RELATED TOPICS

Woody Allen Quotes, Woody Allen Film Quotes, Woody Allen Movie Quotes, Woody Allen Quote Immortality, Annie Hall Woody Allen Quotes, Allen Ginsberg Quotes, Allen West Quotes, Edgar Allen Quotes, Toy Story Woody Quotes, Barry Allen CW Quotes, Barry Allen Quotes About Impossible,