Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner. Woody Allen
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Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought - particularly for people who cannot remember where they left things. Woody Allen
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not 'the thing with feathers.' The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich. Woody Allen
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Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively... But it was' just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could "relate without getting close." For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack. Woody Allen
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak. Woody Allen
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours. Woody Allen
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles. Woody Allen
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That's one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing's real, it just lives. Woody Allen
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Is sex dirty? Only when it's being done right. Woody Allen
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen
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The chief problem about death ... is the fear that there may be no afterlife - a depressing thought. Woody Allen
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Your audience teaches you how to be funny. Woody Allen
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When I get up in the morning, I go and I work with beautiful women and charming men and funny comedians and dramatic artists. And I'm presented with costumes and great music to choose from and sets. I travel a certain amount of places, so I've been living in a bubble. And I like it. Woody Allen
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Over the years I've never written or made movies about political themes 'cause while they do have current critical importance, in the large, large scheme of things, only the big questions matter and the answers to those big questions are very, very depressing. Woody Allen
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Visually I've always liked the 20s 30s for film. I do these because I like the music. I like the clothes. I like the way the women and the guys look. There are soldiers and sailors and gangsters with the machine guns in their violin cases. It's a very colorful era of New York, full of great theater and great nightclubs and great jazz. Woody Allen
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The difference between sex and death is, with death you can do it alone and nobody's going to make fun of you. Woody Allen
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Eternal nothingness is O.K. if you're dressed for it. Woody Allen
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Where did you go to finishing school? On a pirate ship? Woody Allen
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Hey, I may hate myself, but not because I'm Jewish. Woody Allen
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Bidnick gorges himself on Viagra, but the dosage makes him hallucinate and causes him to imagine he is Pliny the Elder. Woody Allen
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To a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife. Woody Allen
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I don't know enough to be incompetent. Woody Allen
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I have an intense desire to return to the womb. Anybody's. Woody Allen
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Heaven knows, we all make mistakes. That's life - and chess. Woody Allen
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I should have known something was wrong with my first wife. When I brought her home to meet my parents, they approved of her. Woody Allen
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Why not? Life is short, life is dull, life is full of pain - and this is a chance for something special. Woody Allen
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That's one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing's real, it just lives. Woody Allen
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If it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. But the worst that you can say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. Woody Allen
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Of all the wonders of nature, a tree in summer is perhaps the most remarkable; with the possible exception of a moose singing Embraceable You in spats. Woody Allen
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He never made the ten-most-wanted list. It's very unfair voting. It's who you know. Woody Allen
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A relationship, I think, is, is like a shark, you know, it has to constantly move forward or it dies, and I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark. Woody Allen
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More than any time in history mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness, the other to total extinction. Let us pray that we have the wisdom to choose correctly. Woody Allen
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Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year. This is quite a profitable sum, especially when one consider that the Mafia spends very little for office supplies. Woody Allen
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I think crime pays. The hours are good and you travel a lot. Woody Allen
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat. Woody Allen
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What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man on a boat - especially if the man on the boat is with his wife. Woody Allen
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