Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


When a doctor makes a mistake, it's best to bury the subject. Woody Allen
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I love baseball. You know, it does' have to mean anything. It's just very beautiful to watch. Woody Allen
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It's hard for me to know. I'll think, 'I really brought off my ideas, it's great,' and no one sparks to it Woody Allen
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Real software engineers don't debug programs, they verify correctness. This process doesn't necessarily involve execution of anything on a computer, except perhaps a Correctness Verification Aid package. Sex without love is an empty experience, but, as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. Woody Allen
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If I can play a scene in a master shot, I always prefer it. And the actors always prefer it. It's fun to look at on the screen, the actors get a chance to sink their teeth into something substantial, and it's economically helpful. Woody Allen
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The important thing, I think, is not to be bitter. You know, if it turns out that there is a God, I don't think that he's evil. I think that the worst thing you could say about him is that basically he's an underachiever. After all, you know, there are worse things in life than death. Woody Allen
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In order to be successful, all you've got to do is show up 80 percent of the time. Woody Allen
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I have one last request. Don't use embalming fluid on me; I want to be stuffed with crab meat. Woody Allen
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There's no way to prove that there is no God. You just have to take it on faith. Woody Allen
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People are always talking about the dumbing down of the country. Woody Allen
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You can learn technological things, you can learn about specific things, but the real problems that people deal with in any subject, existential subjects or romantic subjects, you never learn anything. So you make a fool of yourself when you're 20, you make a fool of yourself at 40, at 60 at 80. The ancient Greeks were dealing with these problems. They screwed up all the time. People do now. Woody Allen
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When you make the film, it's like a chef who works on the meal. After you're working all day in the kitchen and dicing and cutting and putting the sauces on, you don't want to eat it. That's how I always feel about the films. I work on it for a year. I've written it, I've worked with the actors, I've edited, put the music in. I just never want to see it again. Woody Allen
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I'm in show business. I'm not like a poor factory worker who'd been laid off. Woody Allen
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If the [actors] are working, and I have a dinner engagement, I don't do 20 takes. I do five takes and go home. I want to go to dinner. Woody Allen
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Years ago I was on television having a discussion with Billy Graham about atheism. He was saying, even if you're right and I'm wrong, and there's nothing after, I will have had a better life than you, because I do believe there was something. And I couldn't argue with that, even though I wanted to. Woody Allen
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Events unfold so unpredictably, so unfairly, human happiness does not seem to be included in the design of creation. It is only we, with our capacity to love that give meaning to the indifferent universe. And yet, most human beings seem to have the ability to keep trying and even try to find joy from simple things, like their family, their work, and from the hope that future generations might understand more. Woody Allen
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I don't like theatrical actors and actresses. I like people that talk like real human beings. Woody Allen
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Life is horrible, but it is not relentlessly black from wire to wire. You can sit down and hear a Mozart symphony, or you can watch the Marx Brothers, and this will give you a pleasant escape for a while. And that is about the best that you can do. Woody Allen
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I have a hyper-active imagination, my mind tends to jump around a little, and I have some trouble between fantasy and reality. Woody Allen
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I can't enjoy anything unless everybody is. If one guy is starving someplace, that puts a crimp in my evening. Woody Allen
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The great roe is a mythological beast with the head of a lion and the body of a lion, though not the same lion. Woody Allen
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My grammy never gave gifts, you know. She was too busy getting raped by Cossacks. Woody Allen
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Life is a concentration camp. You're stuck here and there's no way out and you can only rage impotently against your persecutors. Woody Allen
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The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house. Woody Allen
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Show business is dog eat dog. It's worse than dog eat dog. It's dog doesn't return dog's phone calls. Woody Allen
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I think crime pays. The hours are good, you travel a lot Woody Allen
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In short, the best thing to do is behave in a manner befitting one's age. If you are sixteen or under, try not to go bald. Woody Allen
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We live in far too permissive a society. Never before has pornography been this rampant. And those films are so badly lit! Woody Allen
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Even if God exists, he's done such a terrible job, it's a wonder people don't get together and file a class action suit against him. Woody Allen
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Is old age really so terrible? Not if you've brushed your teeth faithfully. Woody Allen
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Paranoia is knowing all the facts. Woody Allen
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You use sex to express every emotion except love. Woody Allen
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Reality may not be the best of all possible worlds, but it's still the only place where you can get a decent steak. Woody Allen
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What is it about death that bothers me? Probably the hours. Woody Allen
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One of the interesting things is, the most gifted people, the biggest people, have no problem taking small roles. Woody Allen
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That's one of the nice things about writing, or any art; if the thing's real, it just lives. Woody Allen
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