Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep. Woody Allen
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I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s. Woody Allen
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I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying. Woody Allen
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I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment. Woody Allen
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When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you're forfeiting your humanity. Woody Allen
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy. Woody Allen
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions. Woody Allen
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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard. Woody Allen
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic. Woody Allen
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I have a number of symptoms that are neurotic and are constricting in the sense that if I had a brilliant idea for a film that had to be shot in Tulsa, OK I would tear it up and throw it away. Anything outside of New York, 'cause I can't exist in a hotel outside of my own home, I have to be in my own home and my own environment. This is a neurotic symptom that is constricting to my work even. Woody Allen
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky. Woody Allen
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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in. Woody Allen
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I'll work by myself for years and then I'll think it'll be fun to et one of my friends like Marshall Brickman or Doug McGrath into a room and not be alone for the writing of the thing; to have the pleasure of taking walks and get lunch together; its sort of a fun process and then I do it and then I get back on my own for a while until I feel the need to do it again. Woody Allen
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In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes. Woody Allen
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The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing. Woody Allen
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it, All I can do is wait for it, Woody Allen
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Regarding love... what can you say? It's not the quantity of your sexual relations that counts. It's the quality. On the other hand if the quantity drops below once every eight months, I would definitely look into it. Woody Allen
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Sonja: Sex without love is an empty experience! Boris: Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best! Woody Allen
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Thought: Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only food: frequently there must be a beverage. Woody Allen
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Sex relieves tension - love causes it. Woody Allen
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There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. Woody Allen
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The chief problem about death, incidentally, is the fear that there may be no afterlife-a depressing thought, particularly for those who have bothered to shave. Also, there is the fear that there is an afterlife but no one will know where it's being held. Woody Allen
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Hey, don't knock masturbation! It's sex with someone I love. Woody Allen
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything. Woody Allen
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My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films. Woody Allen
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Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion. Woody Allen
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A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. Woody Allen
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There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope. Woody Allen
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You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist. Woody Allen
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom. Woody Allen
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker. Woody Allen
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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive. Woody Allen
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything. Woody Allen
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things. Woody Allen
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies. Woody Allen
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I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had. Woody Allen
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I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end. Woody Allen
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. Woody Allen
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you. Woody Allen
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm. Woody Allen
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields. Woody Allen
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her. Woody Allen
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Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex. Woody Allen
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Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous. Woody Allen
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The heart is a very, very resilient little muscle. It really is. Woody Allen
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I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors. Woody Allen
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I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude. Woody Allen
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None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them. Woody Allen
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Or what's worse, what if only that fat guy in the third row exists? Woody Allen
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How wrong Emily Dickinson was! Hope is not "the thing with feathers." The thing with feathers has turned out to be my nephew. I must take him to a specialist in Zurich. Woody Allen
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A man that has never lied to a woman has no respect for her feelings. Woody Allen
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Just because youre paranoid doesnt mean they arent out to get you Woody Allen
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All literature is a footnote to Faust. I have no idea what I mean by that. Woody Allen
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Our love, our love will last forever. It's forever but it just doesn't work. That's why it will always be romantic because it can not be complete. Woody Allen
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In perpetrating a revolution, there are two requirements: someone or something to revolt against and someone to actually show up and do the revolting. Dress is usually casual and both parties may be flexible about time and place, but if either faction fails to attend, the whole enterprise is likely to come off badly. Woody Allen
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All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door. Woody Allen
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My father worked for the same firm for 12 years. They fired him and replaced him with a tiny gadget that does everything my father does, only much better. The depressing thing is my mother ran out and bought one Woody Allen
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My success has allowed me to strike out with a higher class of women. Woody Allen
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Music has always helped my films. In 'The Curse Of The Jade Scorpion,' you can hear 'Sunrise' by Glenn Miller, an idol of my childhood, in the surprise ending. I like mixing comedy with suspense and action. Woody Allen
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Cynicism is reality with an alternate spelling. Woody Allen
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Let's say there was a burning building and you could rush in and you could save only one thing: either the last known copy of Shakespeare's plays or some anonymous human being. What would you do? Woody Allen
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Money is not everything, but it is better than having one's health. Woody Allen
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it. Woody Allen
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For the first year of marriage I had basically a bad attitude. I tended to place my wife underneath a pedestal. Woody Allen
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Should I marry W.? Not if she won't tell me the other letters in her name. Woody Allen
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Remember, if you smoke after sex you're doing it too fast. Woody Allen
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Is sex dirty? Only if it's done right. Woody Allen
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Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering - and it's all over much too soon. Woody Allen
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What if nothing exists and we're all in somebody's dream? Woody Allen
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Life doesn't imitate art, it imitates bad television. Woody Allen
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