Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


I didn't believe in reincarnation in my past life, and I still don't. Woody Allen
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When the Academy called, I panicked. I thought they might want their Oscars back and the pawn shop has been out of business for a while. Woody Allen
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There's nothing sexier than a lapsed Catholic. Woody Allen
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If God is everywhere, I had concluded, then He is in food. Therefore, the more I ate the godlier I would become. Impelled by this new religious fervor, I glutted myself like a fanatic. Woody Allen
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Then Job fell to his knees and cried to the Lord, "Thine is the kingdom and the power and glory. Thou hast a good job. Don't blow it." Woody Allen
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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers Woody Allen
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I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. Woody Allen
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow. Woody Allen
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble. Woody Allen
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Death doesn't really worry me that much, I'm not frightened about it... I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy. Woody Allen
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That was the most fun I ever had without laughing. Woody Allen
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More than at any other time in history, mankind faces a crossroads. One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other, to total extinction. Let us pray we have the wisdom to choose correctly. I speak, by the way, not with any sense of futility, but with a panicky conviction of the absolute meaninglessness of existence which could easily be misinterpreted as pessimism. It is not. It is merely a healthy concern for the predicament of modern man. Woody Allen
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Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. Woody Allen
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The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. Woody Allen
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Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. Woody Allen
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I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen
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If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right. Woody Allen
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Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively... But it wasn't just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could 'relate without getting close.' For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack. Woody Allen
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative Woody Allen
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying. Woody Allen
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it. Woody Allen
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light. Woody Allen
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. Woody Allen
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. Woody Allen
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History is the same thing over and over again. Woody Allen
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script-at least in my case. Woody Allen
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She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. Woody Allen
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end. Woody Allen
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence. Woody Allen
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics. Woody Allen
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went. Woody Allen
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. Woody Allen
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs. Woody Allen
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife Woody Allen
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A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything. Woody Allen
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Life is short. Short, and not about anything except what you can touch and what touches you. Woody Allen
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I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm. Woody Allen
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I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields. Woody Allen
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I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her. Woody Allen
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People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom. Woody Allen
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I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker. Woody Allen
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I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive. Woody Allen
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I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything. Woody Allen
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Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things. Woody Allen
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Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies. Woody Allen
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I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had. Woody Allen
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I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end. Woody Allen
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On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. Woody Allen
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End production today. Wrap party as usual a little sad. Slow danced with Scarlett. Broke her toe. Not my fault. When she dipped me back, I stepped on it. Penelope and Javier anxious to work with me again. Said if I ever come up with another screenplay to try and find them. Goodbye drink with Rebecca. Sentimental moment. Everyone in cast and crew chipped in and bought me a ballpoint pen. Woody Allen
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Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. Woody Allen
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. Woody Allen
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom. Woody Allen
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. Woody Allen
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90% of success in life is showing up Woody Allen
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Woody Allen
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen
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I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian. Woody Allen
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens. Woody Allen
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I'm not a big believer in the sense of Jews having a monopoly on comedy. Woody Allen
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As a boy, I was ashamed to wear glasses. I memorized the eye chart, and then on the test they asked essay questions. Woody Allen
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Sometimes the critics will like a film, and the public doesn't come. Sometimes the critics won't like the film, and the public will come. It's completely spontaneous. It's a hazard. Woody Allen
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In certain areas I don't function well and in other areas I function very well. I'm very good professionally. I have good discipline, I'm able to write every day and do films and not go six times over the budget. I mean I'm a coherent person, but I also don't like to go through tunnels when I travel. I'm claustrophobic. Woody Allen
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I have a number of symptoms that are neurotic and are constricting in the sense that if I had a brilliant idea for a film that had to be shot in Tulsa, OK I would tear it up and throw it away. Anything outside of New York, 'cause I can't exist in a hotel outside of my own home, I have to be in my own home and my own environment. This is a neurotic symptom that is constricting to my work even. Woody Allen
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If you pursue the other woman, it's a losing situation and it's not good for your relationship or your marriage. If your marriage is open and you're allowed to, that's no good either. There's no way, really in the end, to be happy unless you get very lucky. Woody Allen
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No one ever wants the whole script. I give the whole script to people who require the whole script but to those people who don't require the whole script I don't give it to them and no one cares. They're relieved not to have to read extra pages that they're not in. Woody Allen
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I'll work by myself for years and then I'll think it'll be fun to et one of my friends like Marshall Brickman or Doug McGrath into a room and not be alone for the writing of the thing; to have the pleasure of taking walks and get lunch together; its sort of a fun process and then I do it and then I get back on my own for a while until I feel the need to do it again. Woody Allen
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In 1940 I was just turning 5 years old and being taken to the movies. For those of us who were not old enough to understand the horror of war it was a very romantic era because these guys were kissing their wives and girlfriends goodbye and going off to fight and become heroes. Woody Allen
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The Jewish culture - people that are Jewish have a certain cultural habit that they've formed and one of those habits is an appreciation of theater and music - these are cultural things one does associate with values that are promulgated by Jewish families. I think that's a good thing. Woody Allen
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My relationship with death remains the same - I'm strongly against it, All I can do is wait for it, Woody Allen
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