Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946

I have a limitless amount of great music at my disposal and it's very, very pleasurable because when the music goes on the film it's amazing how much it livens up the film and gives it an emotional kick in the pants, sort of. Woody Allen

Comedians have a tendency to have a limited range, they tend to do one thing and do it very well, but it's limited. Woody Allen

I can understand that an audience, buying a ticket to see a picture of mine, wants to see something funny because they feel confident that at least I have a fighting chance to make a funny film when I make a film, whereas if I make a dramatic film there's one chance in a thousand that it's really going to come out great, so I understand how they feel about that and they're completely right. Woody Allen

When one chooses to be a writer, psychologically there's a reason for that because you like the isolation and you like to be by yourself and you are by nature timid. Woody Allen

I took a puff of the wrong cigarette at a fraternity dance once, and the cops had to get me, y'know. I broke two teeth trying to give a hickie to the Statue of Liberty. Woody Allen

I hate reality but it's still the best place to get a good steak. Woody Allen

Marriage? That's for life! It's like cement! Woody Allen

Everything in life turns out to be a distraction from the real thing you want to do. There are a million distractions and when I was a kid I was very disciplined. I knew that the other kids weren't. I was the one able to do the thing, not because I had more talent, maybe less, but because they simply weren't applying themselves. Woody Allen

I've never had a block. I'm talking within the limits of my abilities. But in my own small way, I've had an embarrassment of riches. I'll have five ideas and I'm dying to do them all. It takes weeks or months where I agonize and obsess over which to do next. I wish sometimes someone would choose for me. If someone said, Do idea number three next, that would be fine. But I have never had any sense of running dry. Woody Allen

You rely too much on brain. The brain is the most overrated organ. Woody Allen

Abysmal vermin that I am, I couldn't of course tell her that it was her incredible mother that I wanted to see again... I knew only as I drove through the cold, night autumn air that somewhere Freud, Sophocles and Eugene O'Neill were laughing. Woody Allen

I took a test in Existentialism. I left all the answers blank and got 100. Woody Allen

I sold my memoirs of my love life to Parker Brothers and they are going to make a game out of it. Woody Allen

Seventy percent of success in life is showing up. Woody Allen

The lion and the calf shall lie down together but the calf won't get much sleep. Woody Allen

Most of the time I don't have much fun. The rest of the time I don't have any fun at all. Woody Allen

I'm not afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen

If my films don't show a profit, I know I'm doing something right. Woody Allen

Please forgive me. My pedicurist had a stroke. She fell forward onto the orange stick and plunged it into my toe. It required bandaging. Woody Allen

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve immortality through not dying. I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen; I want to live on in my apartment. Woody Allen

I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying. Woody Allen

I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it. Woody Allen

A general philosophy of the female characters in my films is they all want something to believe in, and not having anything. Woody Allen

People still have existential anxiety. It just may not be expressed in Hebraic idiom. Woody Allen

I've always believed that thoughtful people don't really take the tabloids seriously. They're basically a form of entertainment. I enjoy them as much as the next New Yorker. Woody Allen

I have great faith in the actors. When they improvise, it always sounds better than the stuff I write in my bedroom. When they improvise, they make it sound alive. Woody Allen

I don't like to meet the actor and have a lot of conferences and talk about their sub-life and their off-screen life and their back stories and all that nonsense, because it never means anything. Woody Allen

Everyone wants to get out of living where they're living now, because life is a pretty tough proposition and not much fun. But when you think back to earlier times, you only extrapolate the nice things. Woody Allen

Paris is a very exciting city. I learned about Paris the same way that Americans do: from the movies. Woody Allen

I can make films. And some of them come out good, and some of them come out better, and some of them come out worse. But I've been very lucky over the years to be able to sustain the length of career that I've had. Woody Allen

I've always been lucky in casting. The trick in casting is to hire great people, and let them do what they do, don't interfere with them too much. And then when they're great, take credit for it in the end. Woody Allen

On the plus side, death is one of the few things that can be done as easily lying down. Woody Allen

Eternity is really long, especially near the end. Woody Allen

My films are therapy for my debilitating depression. In institutions people weave baskets. I make films. Woody Allen

Umlaut snaps around and we cut to a blond apparition in her early twenties, clearly descended from Olympus by way of Hugh Hefner's mansion. Woody Allen

A "Bay Area Bisexual" told me I didn't quite coincide with either of her desires. Woody Allen

There's nothing like the discovery of an unknown work by a great thinker to set the intellectual community atwitter and cause academics to dart about like those things one sees when looking at a drop of water under a microscope. Woody Allen

You always think another time would have been ideal for you . . . the reality is there was no novocaine when you went to the dentist. Woody Allen

I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian. Woody Allen

I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens. Woody Allen

People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work. Woody Allen

I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep. Woody Allen

I think Hollywood has gone in a disastrous path. It's terrible. The years of cinema that were great were the '30s, '40s, not so much the '50s...but then the foreign films took over and it was a great age of cinema as American directors were influenced by them and that fueled the '50s and '60s and '70s. Woody Allen

I don't want to live forever through my work. I want to live forever by not dying. Woody Allen

I don't wanna live on in my work. I wanna live on in my apartment. Woody Allen

When you start putting a higher value on works of art than people, you're forfeiting your humanity. Woody Allen

Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Woody Allen

It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen

In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it. Woody Allen

I can't imagine any director directing a screenplay of mine, because the great directors all have very personal styles, and the ones that don't are not very interesting directors. Woody Allen

I've inherited the worst of each parent. I have my father's hypochondria and lack of concentration. I have his amorality. I have everything bad that he had. Then I have my mother's surly, pill-like, complaining, whining attitude. Woody Allen

None of the arts are any good unless you really are great at them. Woody Allen

I'm giving [my analyst] one more year-then I'm going to Lourdes. Woody Allen

he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something Woody Allen

I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence. Woody Allen

I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics. Woody Allen

My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went. Woody Allen

There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. Woody Allen

My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs. Woody Allen

I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife Woody Allen

Sex is better than talk. Ask anybody in this bar. Talk is what you suffer through so you can get to sex. Woody Allen

I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light. Woody Allen

Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage. Woody Allen

Sex and death are two things that come but once in my lifetime, but at least after death you're not nauseous. Woody Allen

I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. Woody Allen

Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Woody Allen

Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman. Woody Allen

I know of only six genuine comic geniuses in movie history; Charlie Chaplin, Buster Keaton, Groucho Marx & Harpo Marx, Peter Sellers, and W.C. Fields. Woody Allen

I'm at the stage of life when if a girl says no to me I'm profoundly grateful to her. Woody Allen

The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson. Woody Allen

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