Woody Allen Quotes & Wallpapers

Woody Allen
Total Quotes: 946


My parents were very Old World. They come from Brooklyn, which is the heart of the Old World. Their values in life are God and carpeting. Woody Allen
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I heard that Commentary and Dissent had merged and formed Dysenery. Woody Allen
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Pale, nervous girls with black-rimmed glasses and blunt-cut hair lolled around on sofas, riffling Penguin Classics provocatively... But it wasn't just intellectual experiences. They were peddling emotional ones, too. For fifty bucks, I learned, you could 'relate without getting close.' For a hundred, a girl would lend you her Bartok records, have dinner, and then let you watch while she had an anxiety attack. Woody Allen
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Is it better to be the lover or the loved one? Neither, if your cholesterol is over six hundred. By love, of course, I refer to romantic love - the love between man and woman, rather than between mother and child, or a boy and his dog, or two headwaiters. Woody Allen
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I've always been interested in being in other people's movies. I never get any offers. Woody Allen
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Change is almost always negative. Things degenerate. Woody Allen
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People always tease me. They say, look at you, you went for so much psychoanalysis and you're so neurotic, you wind up marrying a girl so much younger than you. Woody Allen
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As I've gotten older, the parts have diminished. I liked it when I was younger, I could always play the lead in the movie and I could do all the romantic scenes with the women, and it was fun and I liked to play that. Now, I'm older and I'm reduced to playing the backstage doorman or the uncle or something. I don't really love that so occasionally, when a part comes up, I'll play it. Woody Allen
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I like broad comedy. If I had an idea tomorrow for a film that was all slapstick and broad comedy, and it was an idea that interested me, I would not hesitate to do it because I enjoy watching these kinds of film. Woody Allen
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Sometimes some of the best moments are contributed by the actors being creative, with their own improvisations. Woody Allen
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I do feel it's important to have some kind of faith in something, but [it is] impossible for many of us. I personally don't have any faith in anything, but it's great if you can. Woody Allen
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I never considered myself an artist. I aspire to be an artist, but I never thought I had the depth or substance or gift to be an artist. I do think I have some talent, but it doesn't go as far as being an artist. Woody Allen
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Sex is like having dinner: sometimes you joke about the dishes, sometimes you take the meal seriously. Woody Allen
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If I had my life to live over, I wish I could be a great pianist or something. Woody Allen
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If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's fingertips. Woody Allen
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You mellow too much you ripen and rot. Woody Allen
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I'm really a timid person - I was beaten up by Quakers Woody Allen
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There is something about big cities that turns me on, and for whatever mysterious reason, places like New York and Paris inspire me. I think it's because cities represent civilization, and as crime-ridden and broken down as some of them are, it's still better than skipping through a meadow. Woody Allen
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Fantasy is seductive and much more wonderful than reality, but you can't take it to the bank. It's always an escape. And if used as an escape, as in attending a movie or a show for a circumscribed period of time, it's fine. When it starts to become undifferentiated from reality, it leads to big trouble. Woody Allen
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If you are not failing now and again, its a sign you are not doing anything very innovative Woody Allen
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I don't want to be immortal through my works. I want to be immortal by not dying. Woody Allen
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I said this to my daughter, if you don't practice the guitar, when you get older you wouldn't be able to play it. It's that simple. If you want to play the guitar, you put a half hour in everyday, but you have to do it. Woody Allen
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I'm afraid of the dark,and suspicious of the light. Woody Allen
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Talent is luck. The important thing in life is courage. Woody Allen
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I can't even make a leap of faith to believe in my own existence. Woody Allen
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I'm very old-fashioned. I believe that people should stay married for life, like pigeons and Catholics. Woody Allen
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My father owned a small piece of land. He carried it with him wherever he went. Woody Allen
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There are worse things than death. Many of them playing at a theater near you. Woody Allen
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My mind can never know my body, although it has become quite friendly with my legs. Woody Allen
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I was thrown out of NYU for cheating-with the deans wife Woody Allen
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I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer. Woody Allen
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Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. Woody Allen
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Sex between a man and a woman can be absolutely wonderful; provided you get between the right man and the right woman. Woody Allen
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Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good. Woody Allen
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I'd call him a sadistic, hippophilic necrophile, but that would be beating a dead horse. Woody Allen
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I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. Woody Allen
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Not only is there no God, but try finding a plumber on Sunday. Woody Allen
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Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it. Woody Allen
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I will not eat oysters. I want my food dead. Not sick. Not wounded. Dead. Woody Allen
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I don't think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib. Woody Allen
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Right now it's only a notion, but I think I can get the money to make it into a concept, and later turn it into an idea. Woody Allen
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I tended to place my wife under a pedestal. Woody Allen
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Eternity is really long, especially near the end. Woody Allen
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The baby is fine. The only problem is that he looks like Edward G. Robinson. Woody Allen
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I'm giving [my analyst] one more year-then I'm going to Lourdes. Woody Allen
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he's a genius, she's a genius, wow, you know alot of geniuses, you should meet some stupid people sometime, you might learn something Woody Allen
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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer; not to love is to suffer; to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy, then, is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be happy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. Woody Allen
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I'm not a drinker, my body won't tolerate...eh...spirits, really. I had two martinis New Years Eve and I tried to hi-jack an elevator and fly it to Cuba. Woody Allen
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History is the same thing over and over again. Woody Allen
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With films, I just scribble a couple of notes for a scene. You don't have to do any writing at all, you just have your notes for the scene, which are written with the actors and the camera in mind. The actual script is a necessity for casting and budgeting, but the end product often doesn't bear much resemblance to the script-at least in my case. Woody Allen
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She wore a short skirt and a tight sweater and her figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. Woody Allen
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I've been lucky because my films have consistently made a profit, almost all of them have made a profit. Never a huge profit, but nobody gets hurt. And therefore I get a lot of freedom. Woody Allen
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My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers. Woody Allen
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End production today. Wrap party as usual a little sad. Slow danced with Scarlett. Broke her toe. Not my fault. When she dipped me back, I stepped on it. Penelope and Javier anxious to work with me again. Said if I ever come up with another screenplay to try and find them. Goodbye drink with Rebecca. Sentimental moment. Everyone in cast and crew chipped in and bought me a ballpoint pen. Woody Allen
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In real life, Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it. Woody Allen
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90% of success in life is showing up Woody Allen
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I hate the beach. I hate the sun. I'm pale and I'm redheaded. I don't tan - I stroke! Woody Allen
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In the event of war, I'm a hostage. Woody Allen
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The food in this place is really terrible. Yes, and such small portions. That's essentially how I feel about life. Woody Allen
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My analyst warned me, but you were so beautiful I got another analyst. Woody Allen
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For God sakes, this is a woman I was married to for 10 years. We made love. I'd hold her head over the toilet bowl when she threw up. Woody Allen
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My parents stayed together for forty years. But that was out of spite. Woody Allen
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Am I my brother's keeper? Yes. Interestingly, in my case, I share that honor with the Prospect Park Zoo. Woody Allen
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Have you ever taken a serious political stand on anything? Yeah. Sure. For twenty-four hours once I refused to eat grapes. Woody Allen
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Another good thing about being poor is that when you are seventy your children will not have declared you legally insane in order to gain control of your estate. Woody Allen
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It is impossible to travel faster than light, and certainly not desirable, as one's hat keeps blowing off. Woody Allen
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I've never dated a fictional character before. The closest I ever came was an Italian. Woody Allen
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I don't fear death. - I just don't want to be around when it happens. Woody Allen
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People make films for different reasons. For money. Or, they make them because something in them demands artistic expression. I do it because I enjoy the work. Woody Allen
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I never knew what Amazon was. I've never seen any of those series, even on cable. I've never seen The Sopranos, or Mad Men. I'm out every night and when I come home, I watch the end of the baseball or basketball game, and there's Charlie Rose and I go to sleep. Woody Allen
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