Wilson Mizner Quotes & Wallpapers

Wilson Mizner
Total Quotes: 89


Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. Wilson Mizner
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A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions. Wilson Mizner
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. Wilson Mizner
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The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. Wilson Mizner
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Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant. Wilson Mizner
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I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought. Wilson Mizner
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The first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner
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Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time. Wilson Mizner
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To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. Wilson Mizner
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The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. Wilson Mizner
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Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. Wilson Mizner
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Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. Wilson Mizner
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[On his deathbed, telling a priest he had no need to speak with him:] I've been talking to your boss, Father. Wilson Mizner
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What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp. Wilson Mizner
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You're a mouse studying to be a rat. Wilson Mizner
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It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men. Wilson Mizner
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[When told of the death of Calvin Coolidge:] How can they tell? Wilson Mizner
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The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read -. Wilson Mizner
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If you count all your assets you always show a profit. Wilson Mizner
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I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. Wilson Mizner
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Failure has gone to his head. Wilson Mizner
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Easy street is a blind alley. Wilson Mizner
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Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother. Wilson Mizner
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All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. Wilson Mizner
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It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. Wilson Mizner
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Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner
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If you steal from one author, its plagiarism. If you steal from two, its research. Wilson Mizner
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Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections. Wilson Mizner
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A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne. Wilson Mizner
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Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner
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Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted. Wilson Mizner
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There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. Wilson Mizner
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. Wilson Mizner
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When you take stuff from one author, it's plagiarism; if you take it from many writers, it's research. Wilson Mizner
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Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore. Wilson Mizner
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[Hollywood is] a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat. Wilson Mizner
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Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up. Wilson Mizner
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I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs. Wilson Mizner
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I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. Wilson Mizner
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A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. Wilson Mizner
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The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork. Wilson Mizner
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The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Wilson Mizner
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Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. Wilson Mizner
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. Wilson Mizner
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God help those who do not help themselves. Wilson Mizner
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The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. Wilson Mizner
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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. Wilson Mizner
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I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' Wilson Mizner
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I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets. Wilson Mizner
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Wilson Mizner... recalls his embarrassment when he first came into the world, and found a woman in bed with him. Wilson Mizner
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I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed. Wilson Mizner
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The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep. Wilson Mizner
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I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. Wilson Mizner
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There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger. Wilson Mizner
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I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. Wilson Mizner
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Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. Wilson Mizner
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Art is science made clear. Wilson Mizner
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You sparkle with larceny. Wilson Mizner
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Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something. Wilson Mizner
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He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup. Wilson Mizner
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The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. Wilson Mizner
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A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. Wilson Mizner
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To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. Wilson Mizner
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If you copy from one author, it's plagiarism. If you copy from two, it's research. Wilson Mizner
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Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy. Wilson Mizner
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You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that. Wilson Mizner
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A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions. Wilson Mizner
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I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at. Wilson Mizner
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I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile. Wilson Mizner
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