Wilson Mizner Quotes & Wallpapers

Wilson Mizner
Total Quotes: 89

Women can instantly see through each other, and it's surprising how little they observe that's pleasant. Wilson Mizner

A fellow who is always declaring that he's no fool, usually has his suspicions. Wilson Mizner

I've known countless people who were reservoirs of learning, yet never had a thought. Wilson Mizner

Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished. Wilson Mizner

Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. Wilson Mizner

The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock. Wilson Mizner

Over in Hollywood they almost made a great picture, but they caught it in time. Wilson Mizner

[On his deathbed, telling a priest he had no need to speak with him:] I've been talking to your boss, Father. Wilson Mizner

The first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady. Wilson Mizner

The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away. Wilson Mizner

Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. Wilson Mizner

Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton. Wilson Mizner

You're a mouse studying to be a rat. Wilson Mizner

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read -. Wilson Mizner

It is criminal negligence to leave suckers lying around to tempt honest men. Wilson Mizner

What feeling is so nice as a child's hand in yours? So small, so soft and warm, like a kitten huddling in the shelter of your clasp. Wilson Mizner

The day which we fear as our last is but the bday of eternity. - By SenecaThe first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner

[When told of the death of Calvin Coolidge:] How can they tell? Wilson Mizner

A good party is where you enjoy good people, and they taste even better with Champagne. Wilson Mizner

If you steal from one author, its plagiarism. If you steal from two, its research. Wilson Mizner

Many a live wire would be a dead one except for his connections. Wilson Mizner

Easy street is a blind alley. Wilson Mizner

Florida was invented for Addison Mizner's little brother. Wilson Mizner

If you count all your assets you always show a profit. Wilson Mizner

I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience. Wilson Mizner

Failure has gone to his head. Wilson Mizner

All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long. Wilson Mizner

It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. Wilson Mizner

Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. Wilson Mizner

I had never considered marriage, but I had an open mind, and I was to learn after a brief try at it that most open minds should be closed for repairs. Wilson Mizner

Some of the greatest love affairs I've known have involved one actor-unassisted. Wilson Mizner

I respect faith, but doubt is what gets you an education. Wilson Mizner

Treat a whore like a lady and a lady like a whore. Wilson Mizner

[Hollywood is] a trip through a sewer in a glass-bottom boat. Wilson Mizner

Tell 'em to count to ten over him and he'll get up. Wilson Mizner

When you take stuff from one author, it's plagiarism; if you take it from many writers, it's research. Wilson Mizner

Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Wilson Mizner

There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless. Wilson Mizner

I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. Wilson Mizner

The only bird that gives the poor a real tumble is the stork. Wilson Mizner

The days just prior to marriage are like a snappy introduction to a tedious book. Wilson Mizner

Wilson Mizner... recalls his embarrassment when he first came into the world, and found a woman in bed with him. Wilson Mizner

I never saw a mob rush across town to do a good deed. Wilson Mizner

A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune. Wilson Mizner

Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down. Wilson Mizner

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. Wilson Mizner

God help those who do not help themselves. Wilson Mizner

The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. Wilson Mizner

A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant. Wilson Mizner

I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .' Wilson Mizner

I want a priest, a rabbi and a Protestant minister. I want to hedge my bets. Wilson Mizner

The gent who wakes up and finds himself a success hasn't been asleep. Wilson Mizner

There's nothing so comfortable as a small bankroll. A big one is always in danger. Wilson Mizner

Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing from something. Wilson Mizner

I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own. Wilson Mizner

I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it. Wilson Mizner

Most hard-boiled people are half-baked. Wilson Mizner

Art is science made clear. Wilson Mizner

You sparkle with larceny. Wilson Mizner

He's the only man I ever knew who had rubber pockets so he could steal soup. Wilson Mizner

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. Wilson Mizner

If you copy from one author, it's plagiarism. If you copy from two, it's research. Wilson Mizner

Stop dying. Am trying to write a comedy. Wilson Mizner

You can't be a rascal for 40 years and then cop a plea the last minute. God keeps better books than that. Wilson Mizner

A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something. Wilson Mizner

To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it. Wilson Mizner

He's a trellis for varicose veins. Wilson Mizner

Anybody who can write home for money can write for magazines. Wilson Mizner

Count 10 over him - he'll get up Wilson Mizner

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