W. S. Gilbert Quotes & Wallpapers

W. S. Gilbert
Total Quotes: 171


Things are seldom what they seem. W. S. Gilbert

Then they began to sing That extremely lovely thing, Scherzando! ma non troppo, ppp. W. S. Gilbert

Our feelings we with difficulty smother When constabulary duty's to be done. Ah, take one consideration with another, A policeman's lot is not a happy one. W. S. Gilbert

Twenty love-sick maidens we, Love-sick all against our will. W. S. Gilbert

A wandering minstrel I- A thing of shreds and patches, Of ballads, songs, and snatches, And dreamy lullaby! W. S. Gilbert

As some day it may happen that a victim must be found, I've got a little list-I've got a little list Of society offenders who might well be underground And who never would be missed-who never would be missed! W. S. Gilbert

Three little maids who, all unwary, Come from a ladies' seminary. W. S. Gilbert

Down went the owners -greedy men whom hope of gain allured: Oh, dry the starting tear, for they were heavily insured. W. S. Gilbert

Deerstalking would be a very fine sport if only the deer had guns. W. S. Gilbert

Bind up their wounds - but look the other way. W. S. Gilbert

Bow, bow, ye lower middle classes! Bow, bow, ye tradesmen, bow, ye masses! W. S. Gilbert

Oh, I am a cook and a captain bold, And the mate of the Nancybrig, And a bos'sun tight, and a midshipmite, And the crew of the captain's gig! W. S. Gilbert

And I always voted at my party's call, and I never thought of thinking for myself at all. W. S. Gilbert

He did nothing in particular, and did it very well. W. S. Gilbert

Her terrible tale You can't assail, With truth it quite agrees; Her taste exact For faultless fact Amounts to a disease. W. S. Gilbert

There's fish in the sea, no doubt of it, As good as ever came out of it. W. S. Gilbert

I love my fellow creatures - I do all the good I can - yet everybody says I'm such a disagreeable man! W. S. Gilbert

When a felon s not engaged in his employment, Or maturing his felonious little plans, His capacity for innocent enjoyment Is just as great as any honest mans. W. S. Gilbert

Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon. W. S. Gilbert

It's love that makes the world go round. W. S. Gilbert

I have a left shoulder-blade that is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles to see it. My right elbow has a fascination that few can resist. It is on view Tuesdays and Fridays, on presentation of visiting card. W. S. Gilbert

Spurn not the nobly-born With love affected, Nor treat with virtuous scorn The wellconnected. W. S. Gilbert

To sit in solemn silence on a dull, dark dock in a pestilential prison with a life-long lock awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock from a cheap and chippy chopper on a big, black block. W. S. Gilbert

There's a fascination frantic in a ruin that's romantic. W. S. Gilbert

Man is nature's sole mistake. W. S. Gilbert

I am, in point of fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent. You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule. W. S. Gilbert

Life is a joke that's just begun. W. S. Gilbert

When Wellington thrashed Bonaparte, As every child can tell, The House of Peers, throughout the war, Did nothing in particular, And did it very well W. S. Gilbert

I know everybody's income and what everybody earns, And I carefully compare it with the income-tax returns W. S. Gilbert

I shall carry to the Catacombs of Age, Photographically lined On the tablet of my mind W. S. Gilbert

So I fell in love with a rich attorney's Elderly ugly daughter. W. S. Gilbert

Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and nothing goes wrong, And isn't your life extremely flat With nothing whatever to grumble at! W. S. Gilbert

Matrimonial devotion doesn't seem to suit her notion. W. S. Gilbert

Something lingering with boiling oil in it... something humorous but lingering - with either boiling oil or melted lead. W. S. Gilbert

Life's a pudding full of plums. W. S. Gilbert

Behold the Lord High Executioner! W. S. Gilbert

And that singular anomaly, the lady novelist- I don't think she'd be missed-I'm sure she'd not be missed! W. S. Gilbert

Is life a boon? If so, it must befall That Death, whene'er he call, Must call too soon. W. S. Gilbert

After many unhappy experiments in the direction of an ideal Republic, it was found that what may be described as a Despotism tempered by Dynamite provides, on the whole, the most satisfactory description of ruler - an autocrat who dares not abuse his autocratic power. W. S. Gilbert

Then a sentimental passion of a vegetable fashion must excite your languid spleen, An attachment a la Plato for a bashful young potato, or a not-too-French French bean! W. S. Gilbert

Philosophy is for the few. W. S. Gilbert

We will hang you, never fear, Most politely, most politely. W. S. Gilbert

Saturday afternoon, although occurring at regular and well-foreseen intervals, always takes this railway by surprise. W. S. Gilbert

A policeman's lot is not a happy one W. S. Gilbert

Though I'm anything but clever, I could talk like that forever. W. S. Gilbert

Posterity shall know of me even less than I shall know of posterity. W. S. Gilbert

Deer hunting would be fine sport, if only the deer had guns. W. S. Gilbert

And so do his sisters, and his cousins, and his aunts! His sisters and his cousins, Whom he reckons up by dozens, And his aunts! W. S. Gilbert

Here's a first-rate opportunity To get married with impunity, And indulge in the felicity Of unbounded domesticity. W. S. Gilbert

Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?' I cried, 'Or a rather tough worm in your little inside? W. S. Gilbert

I'm really very sorry for you all, but it's an unjust world, and virtue is triumphant only in theatrical performances. W. S. Gilbert

Wherever valor true is found, true modesty will there abound. W. S. Gilbert

My family pride is something inconceivable. I can't help it. I was born sneering. W. S. Gilbert

Spurn not the nobly born with love affected; nor treat with virtuous scorn the well connected. W. S. Gilbert

On my face extended flat I was walloped with a cat For listening at the key-hole of the door. W. S. Gilbert

What though I cannot meet my bills? What though I suffer toothache's ills? What though I swallow countless pills? W. S. Gilbert

I am a courtier grave and serious Who is about to kiss your hand: Try to combine a pose imperious With a demeanour nobly bland. W. S. Gilbert

Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at? W. S. Gilbert

As is gloriously sung in the Gilbert and Sullivan operetta "H.M.S. Pinafore," in the words of W. S. Gilbert: "Things are seldom as they seem, Skim milk masquerades as cream." W. S. Gilbert

I'm very well acquainted too with matters mathematical, I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical, About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news- With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse. W. S. Gilbert

I see no objection to stoutness, in moderation. W. S. Gilbert

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus, I know the scientific names of beings animalculous; In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral, I am the very model of a modern Major-General. W. S. Gilbert

I often think it's comical How Nature always does contrive That every boy and every gal That's born into the world alive Is either a little Liberal Or else a little Conservative! W. S. Gilbert

I am a child of Nature, and take after my mother. W. S. Gilbert

He led his regiment from behind - He found it less exciting. But when away his regiment ran, His place was at the fore, O. W. S. Gilbert

When I was a lad I served a term As office boy to an Attorney's firm. I cleaned the windows and I swept the floor, And I polished up the handle of the big front door.... I polished up that handle so carefullee That now I am the Ruler of the Queen's Navee! W. S. Gilbert

Stick close to your desks and never go to sea, And you all may be Rulers of the Queen's Navee! W. S. Gilbert

On a tree by a river a little tom-tit Sang 'Willow, titwillow, titwillow!' And I said to him, 'Dicky-bird, why do you sit Singing 'Willow, titwillow, titwillow'? W. S. Gilbert

If you're anxious for to shine in the high aesthetic line as a man of culture rare, You must get up all the germs of the transcendental terms, and plant them everywhere. W. S. Gilbert

Darwinian Man, though well-behaved, At best is only a monkey shaved! W. S. Gilbert



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