Steve Martin Quotes & Wallpapers

Steve Martin
Total Quotes: 382


A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin

I loved magic, and so I would practice my magic tricks in front of a mirror for hours and hours and hours because I was told that you must practice, you must practice and never present a trick before it's ready. Steve Martin

In a strange way, I don't have a job, so I have a lot of time on my hands. When I do work, it might be very concentrated, and it might be months where you're not really doing anything except maybe playing the banjo or writing something. You know, there's a lot of time in the day if you're not working 9 to 5. Steve Martin

Deeply funny musings and adventures elevate Paul Rudnick to the highest level of American comedy writing. Steve Martin

...when the person beside you is making you alert and keen and the idea of being with anyone else is not imaginable... Steve Martin

I love money. I love everything about it. I bought some pretty good stuff. Got me a $300 pair of socks. Got a fur sink. An electric dog polisher. A gasoline powered turtleneck sweater. And, of course, I bought some dumb stuff, too. Steve Martin

I studied with the Maharishi for many years, and really didn't learn that much. But one thing that he taught me, I'll never forget: 'ALWAYS...' no, wait- 'NEVER...' no, wait, it was 'ALWAYS carry a litter bag in your car. It doesn't take up much room, and if it gets full, you can toss it out the window.' Steve Martin

I used to think a wedding was a simple affair. Boy and girl meet, they fall in love, he buys a ring, she buys a dress, they say I do. I was wrong. That's getting married. A wedding is an entirely different proposition. Steve Martin

Comedy is a distortion of what is happening, and there will always be something happening. Steve Martin

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The word they didn't change was on page 87. Steve Martin

When someone less capable is ahead of me, I am not pleased. It makes me insane. Steve Martin

There's a big difference between the National Book Awards and the Academy Awards. At the Academy Awards you can feel the greed and envy and ego. Whereas the National Book Awards are in New York. Steve Martin

Private companies have a lot of capital. They can run things efficiently and get projects built. Steve Martin

The environment changed with Martha Stewart and Enron. Steve Martin

I've decided to take up smoking, my doctor said I wasn't getting enough tar. Steve Martin

I was very vulnerable to criticism for many years. I could read a bad review and remember it my whole life. Steve Martin

[her] mind blackens. The blackness is not a thought, but if it could be pressed into a thought, if a chemical from a dropper could be dripped onto it causing its color and essence to become visible, it would take the shape of this sentence: Why does no one want me? Steve Martin

I would assign every lie a color: yellow when they were innocent, pale blue when they sailed over you like the sky, red because I knew they drew blood. And then there was the black lie. That's the worst of all. A black lie was when I told you the truth. Steve Martin

Unlike Ray Porter, his love is fearless and without reservation. Steve Martin

Yeah, well, we're all writers, aren't we? He's a writer that hasn't been published, and I'm a writer who hasn't written anything. Steve Martin

I first thought maybe I'd do a banjo presentation record, where I'd play a couple of songs and get a bunch of other players to do the rest. Then I realized I had enough of my own songs to do an album of them. Steve Martin

Thankfully, perseverance is a good substitute for talent. Steve Martin

I was seeking comic originality, and fame fell on me as a byproduct. Steve Martin

Teaching is a form of show business. Steve Martin

Any type of humor can be transferred to the screen, as long as there's clarity. The audience wants to know just what they're supposed to be feeling, when they're supposed to laugh. Steve Martin

At first I had no skills in writing comedy. I didn't know what a joke was, but, as someone once told me, your emotions follow your intent. If you create the intention of starting a comedy act, slowly your mind starts adjusting and you arrive at a new emotional state. Steve Martin

I guess I wouldn't believe in anything anymore if it weren't for my lucky astrology mood watch. Steve Martin

So, while fitting in, she was like a wicked detail standing out against a placid background. Steve Martin

For a while, Mirabelle believes there will be a moment when he will cave in and let himself love her, but eventually she lets the idea go. She hits bottom. She dwells in the muck for several months, not depressed exactly, but involved in a mourning that at first she thinks is for Ray but soon realizes is for the loss of her old self. Steve Martin

She looked down again and I was stymied. I sat. Oh, this was enough to make me love her, because I was right with her, understanding every second and longing to step in. I did' even need to know the specific that was troubling her, because to me her halting voice easily stood for the general woe that hangs in the air, even on life's happiest days. Steve Martin

If he thinks he would harm Mirabelle, he would back away. But he does not yet understand when and how people are hurt. He doesn't understand the subtleties of slights and pains, that it is not the big events that hurt the most but rather the smallest questionable shift in tone at the end of a spoken word that can plow most deeply into the heart. Steve Martin

The greatest thing you can do is surprise yourself. Steve Martin

Always make room for the unexpected in yourself. Steve Martin

You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither. Steve Martin

I cannot smell mothballs because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart. Steve Martin

I believe in equality. Equality for everybody. No matter how stupid they are or how superior I am to them. Steve Martin

I think when the movie `Roxanne' came out, which I also had written, I felt something new that I never felt, which was respect. Steve Martin

When you're touring and if you go to a party, there's automatically a celebrity-audience distance. It follows you around, especially when you're on the road in small towns. Any time there is awe, it gets very difficult to be normal, to be yourself. But I'm not saying that that's what made me the way I am. I've probably always been distant. Steve Martin

All of a sudden I had to remember some words that Marlowe had told me over fifteen years ago: 'Dead men don't wear plaid.' Hmm... Dead men don't wear plaid. I still don't know what it means. Steve Martin

(Audience member): What's your mood watch say? Steve Martin

It's funny that some ideas start with a little "What if?" and then suddenly you're spending a million dollars to shoot the scene and hoping that it works. Steve Martin

I don't watch myself gener-ally. I do something, see it once, and then I'll probably never see it again unless it's an accident. Steve Martin

The self-prepared dinner is a great time killer for lonely people and as much time should be spent on it as possible. Steve Martin

Were they beautiful? We were all beautiful. We were in our twenties. Steve Martin

How is it possible to miss a woman whom you kept at a distance, so that when she was gone you would not miss her? Steve Martin

I saw the movie, 'Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon' and was surprised because I didn't see any tigers or dragons. And then I realized why: they're crouching and hidden. Steve Martin

Don't have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them. Steve Martin

There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that. Steve Martin

I loved to make people laugh in high school, and then I found I loved being on stage in front of people. I'm sure that's some kind of ego trip or a way to overcome shyness. I was very kind of shy and reserved, so there's a way to be on stage and be performing and balance your life out. Steve Martin

I realized that comedians of the day were operating on jokes and punch lines. The moment you say the punch line, the audience either laughs sincerely or they laugh automatically or they don't laugh. The thing that bothered me was that automatic laugh. I said, that's not real laughter. Steve Martin

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when your hobbies get in the way of themselves... well. Steve Martin

Nothing I do is done by popular demand. Steve Martin

I loved doing 'Pennies from Heaven.' Because you have to understand that I'd been doing comedy for 15 to 20 years, and suddenly along came the opportunity to do this beautiful film. It was so emotional to me. I loved it. I don't think it was a good career move, but I have no regrets about doing it. Steve Martin

I don't like to look back, and I'm always worried about the next thing rather than resting on the laurels or the degradations of the last thing. Steve Martin

I never thought much about success early on. I only thought about being a comedian - or just being in show business, is really more accurate. Steve Martin

I love comedy. That's what got me into the arts. I don't even know how to categorize myself anymore. Steve Martin

I think when I was young, let's call it high school, and even before that, I just loved comedy, and I loved comedians. I grew up watching Laurel and Hardy. That's really a long time ago. I loved Jerry Lewis. I just loved comedians. Steve Martin

Theories, for me, are just about freeing your mind. It doesn't mean the theory is going to work like a scientific theory works. It's about freeing your mind and making you think a different way. Steve Martin

With comedy, you have no place to go but more comedy, so you're never off the hook. Steve Martin

Be undeniably good. When people ask me how do you make it in show business or whatever, what I always tell them & nobody ever takes note of it 'cause it's not the answer they wanted to hear-what they want to hear is here's how you get an agent, here's how you write a script, here's how you do this-but I always say, "Be so good they can't ignore you." If somebody's thinking, "How can I be really good?" people are going to come to you. It's much easier doing it that way than going to cocktail parties. Steve Martin

I'm not a human being. I'm despicable and disgusting - but that's where the money is. Steve Martin

A friend of mine once asked how to make it in show business and I said "Be so good that they can't ignore you." She thought I was being flip but it's true. The challenge is trying to live up to the opportunities given me. Steve Martin

Your only guidepost is your own instinct and judicious editing. In my stand-up act I learned that in the first 10 minutes I could say anything and it would get a laugh. Then I'd better deliver. In the movie it's the same thing. You get a lot of laughs when people first sit down and then the story better kick in. Many years in front of an audience, I would hope, give me a sense of what works. Steve Martin

I find animated movies very touching. They reach an audience that's hard to get with a live-action film. Steve Martin

How many people have never raised their hand before? Steve Martin

Be so good they can't ignore you. Steve Martin

Comedy makes you humble. Because there are so many opportunities to miss, and strike out. Steve Martin

introductions are hard to come by when your natural state is shyness Steve Martin

I used to smoke marijuana. But I"ll tell you something: I would only smoke it in the late evening. Oh, occasionally the early evening, but usually the late evening - or the mid-evening. Just the early evening, midevening and late evening. Occasionally, early afternoon, early midafternoon, or perhaps the late-midafternoon. Oh, sometimes the early-mid-late-early morning. . . . But never at dusk. Steve Martin

It's horrible for someone to listen to someone learning any instrument - when I was first learning the banjo, I used to have to go out and sit in the car, and even in the summertime I'd have to roll up the windows. Because you just couldn't practice a banjo or a fiddle with other people around. Unless they're being paid. Steve Martin



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