Phyllis Diller Quotes & Wallpapers

Phyllis Diller
Total Quotes: 223


Nothing was happening in the bedroom. I nicknamed our waterbed the Dead Sea. Phyllis Diller
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I do' want to sound like I'm on dope, but that hour is a high; it's as good as you can feel. A wonderful, wonderful happiness, and great power. Phyllis Diller
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There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem? Phyllis Diller
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My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. Phyllis Diller
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This man I was going with asked me for my finger measurements. I thought he was going to buy me a ring for Christmas, but he gave me a bowling ball. Phyllis Diller
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get married with the feeling it is going to last. Not like the bride I know who doubled the wedding cake recipe and froze one. Phyllis Diller
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Isn't my fur stole pitiful? How unsuccessful can a girl look? People think I'm wearing anchovies. The worst of it is, I trapped these under my own sink. Phyllis Diller
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Health - what my friends are always drinking to before they fall down. Phyllis Diller
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When I go to the beauty parlor, I always use the emergency entrance. Sometimes I just go for an estimate. Phyllis Diller
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I serve dinner in three phases: serve the food, clear the table, bury the dead. Phyllis Diller
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You can say the nastiest things about yourself without offending anyone. Phyllis Diller
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You know you're old when your walker has an airbag. Phyllis Diller
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Fang can't stand to see trash & garbage lying around the house. He can't stand the competition. Phyllis Diller
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