P J Orourke Quotes & Wallpapers

Total Quotes: 483

The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. P J Orourke

Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers. P J Orourke

You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. P J Orourke

Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. P J Orourke

My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth. P J Orourke

We print journalists are victims of economic forces beyond our control. We were as surprised as everyone else was by the sudden collapse of the reliable reporting market. We had no idea that real news and clear-eyed analysis were being 'bundled' with subprime celebrity gossip, 'U.S. Weekly' derivatives, and Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie swaps. P J Orourke

Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood and smiting the firstborn, give me a pass. And tell me when it's over. P J Orourke

Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. P J Orourke

People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. P J Orourke

I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much. P J Orourke

Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life. P J Orourke

College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions. P J Orourke

I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. P J Orourke

I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash together to make a blob of a sentence that bears some likeness to reason and sense. P J Orourke

I've never been able to get it straight about what these people who are worried about the trade deficit are worried about. P J Orourke

I like to argue with the radio. P J Orourke

In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. P J Orourke

Opinions of language are as interesting as opinions of arithmetic. P J Orourke

Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines. P J Orourke

We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. P J Orourke

I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. P J Orourke

The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. P J Orourke

Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. P J Orourke

Never fight an inanimate object. P J Orourke

The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help. P J Orourke

Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad. P J Orourke

The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out. P J Orourke

Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. P J Orourke

Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants. P J Orourke

We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there. P J Orourke

By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. P J Orourke

There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. P J Orourke

Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. P J Orourke

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. P J Orourke

In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. P J Orourke

The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. P J Orourke

Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. P J Orourke

Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior. P J Orourke

Democrats hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference. P J Orourke

Regulation creates a moral hazard. P J Orourke

The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission. P J Orourke

Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. P J Orourke

What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text. P J Orourke

There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. P J Orourke

If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' P J Orourke

You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective. P J Orourke

As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political cause so that we can get out there, you know, and play flag football or Frisbee, or walk the dog or something - you know, which is, you know, what the National Mall should be for, in my personal opinion. P J Orourke

It's not that Afghans think Americans have sided with the wrong people in a systematic, strategic, or calculated way. It's just that we came to a place that we didn't know much about, where there are a lot of sides to be on, and we started siding with this side and that side and the other side. We were bound to wind up on the wrong side sometimes. P J Orourke

There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. P J Orourke

Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. P J Orourke

Political leaders are expert at saying nothing. P J Orourke

Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. P J Orourke

Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. P J Orourke

The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. P J Orourke

We Americans, who invented traffic, are always being startled by the forms into which it has evolved around the world. P J Orourke

I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. P J Orourke

It's hard to be serious in life. P J Orourke

Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. P J Orourke

The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. P J Orourke

If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors out of millions. P J Orourke

The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. P J Orourke

All business is capitalistic. You require capital for any sort of business endeavour. P J Orourke

Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! P J Orourke

The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. P J Orourke

No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. P J Orourke

Lyndon Johnson faced some clear moral issues. P J Orourke

Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. P J Orourke

I was never a Democrat. I went from Republican to Maoist and then back again. P J Orourke

Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. P J Orourke

Why is Iraq so easy to harm and so hard to help? P J Orourke

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