P J Orourke Quotes & Wallpapers


Total Quotes: 483


The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids. P J Orourke
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Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers. P J Orourke
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You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going. P J Orourke
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Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day. P J Orourke
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My generation of Americans was the first to really care about racism and sexism, not to mention the I Ching, plus, of course, the Earth. P J Orourke
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We print journalists are victims of economic forces beyond our control. We were as surprised as everyone else was by the sudden collapse of the reliable reporting market. We had no idea that real news and clear-eyed analysis were being 'bundled' with subprime celebrity gossip, 'U.S. Weekly' derivatives, and Jennifer Aniston/Angelina Jolie swaps. P J Orourke
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Passover is my idea of a perfect holiday. Dear God, when you're handing out plagues of darkness, locusts, hail, boils, flies, lice, frogs, and cattle murrain, and turning the Nile to blood and smiting the firstborn, give me a pass. And tell me when it's over. P J Orourke
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Thank you, Occupy Wall Street. With your vivid example of anticapitalist squalor, I've been able to convince all three of my children to become investment bankers. P J Orourke
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People think the free market is a philosophy, they think that it is a creed. It is none of those things. Free market is a bathroom scale, it is a measuring tape, it's simply a measurement. P J Orourke
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I think the Baby Boom has enjoyed itself, maybe sometimes a little too much, and we're continuing to enjoy ourselves, maybe a little too much. P J Orourke
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Woodstock had a tremendous impact on American artistic life. P J Orourke
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College professors used to be badly paid and worth it. Colleges used to be modest institutions; they should go back to being modest institutions. P J Orourke
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I have never been to a museum in Hong Kong, or a movie or a play. I've never gone club-hopping. I've never taken the tram to Victoria Peak. P J Orourke
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I spend my days kneeling in the muck of language, feeling around for gooey verbs, nouns, and modifiers that I can squash together to make a blob of a sentence that bears some likeness to reason and sense. P J Orourke
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I've never been able to get it straight about what these people who are worried about the trade deficit are worried about. P J Orourke
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I like to argue with the radio. P J Orourke
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In the Soviet Union, no industry went under until they all did. P J Orourke
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Opinions of language are as interesting as opinions of arithmetic. P J Orourke
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Arab-led Islamic fundamentalism destabilizes nations from Algeria to the Philippines. P J Orourke
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We've come into the world of '1984,' but it turns out to be '1984'-Lite. P J Orourke
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I think it's been hard for people to understand how Islam can be a good religion, and yet the Islamists are evil. Those of us who have had experience with Islam understand this, just as we understand the difference between snake handlers and people going to church on Sunday morning. P J Orourke
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The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen. P J Orourke
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Globalization is simply opening the free marketplace to encompass the entire world. P J Orourke
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Never fight an inanimate object. P J Orourke
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The two most frightening words in Washington are 'bipartisan consensus.' Bipartisan consensus is when my doctor and my lawyer agree with my wife that I need help. P J Orourke
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Simply because something is a populist movement doesn't make it either good or bad. P J Orourke
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The most brilliant satire of all time was 'A Modest Proposal' by Jonathan Swift. You'll notice how everything got straightened out in Ireland within days of that coming out. P J Orourke
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Politics is a necessary evil, or a necessary annoyance, a necessary conundrum. P J Orourke
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Agriculture is a business that has been up to its bib overalls in politics since the first Thanksgiving dinner kickback to the Indians for subsidizing Pilgrim maize production with fish head fertilizer grants. P J Orourke
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We will win an election when all the seats in the House and Senate and the chair behind the desk in the Oval Office and the whole bench of the Supreme Court are filled with people who wish they weren't there. P J Orourke
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By the end of the 1950s, American cars were so reliable that their reliability went without saying even in car ads. Thousands of them bear testimony to this today, still running on the roads of Cuba though fueled with nationalized Venezuelan gasoline and maintained with spit and haywire. P J Orourke
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There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences. P J Orourke
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Feeling good about government is like looking on the bright side of any catastrophe. When you quit looking on the bright side, the catastrophe is still there. P J Orourke
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Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle and scope. P J Orourke
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In our brief national history we have shot four of our presidents, worried five of them to death, impeached one and hounded another out of office. And when all else fails, we hold an election and assassinate their character. P J Orourke
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The whole idea of our government is this: If enough people get together and act in concert, they can take something and not pay for it. P J Orourke
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Accuse a person of breaking all Ten Commandments, and you've written the promo blurb for the dust cover of his tell-all memoir. P J Orourke
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Guns are the ultimate bulwark against government misbehavior. P J Orourke
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Democrats hate stay-at-home spouses, no matter what gender or gender preference. P J Orourke
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Regulation creates a moral hazard. P J Orourke
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The idea of a stag hunt evokes chivalry - knights in jerkins and hose, ladies on sidesaddles with wimples and billowing dresses, a white stag symbolizing something-or-other, and Robin Hood getting in the way. An actual stag hunt is more like a horseback meeting of a county planning commission. P J Orourke
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Pete Seeger is a modest, unassuming, cheerful, and kind-natured man. He's a good folk singer, if you can stand folk singing. And he's such an excellent banjo player that you almost don't wish you had a pair of wire cutters. P J Orourke
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What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text. P J Orourke
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There is no virtue in compulsory government charity, and there is no virtue in advocating it. A politician who portrays himself as 'caring' and 'sensitive' because he wants to expand the government's charitable programs is merely saying that he's willing to try to do good with other people's money. P J Orourke
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If there are three words that need to be used more in American journalism, commentary, politics, personal life... it's the magic words 'I don't know.' P J Orourke
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You can learn all about the human condition from covering the crime beat in a big city - you don't need to go to Beirut for that - but a foreign correspondent begins to understand poverty from a different perspective. P J Orourke
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As a longtime former resident of 15 years in Washington, I wish that everybody would stay off the Mall with their political cause so that we can get out there, you know, and play flag football or Frisbee, or walk the dog or something - you know, which is, you know, what the National Mall should be for, in my personal opinion. P J Orourke
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It's not that Afghans think Americans have sided with the wrong people in a systematic, strategic, or calculated way. It's just that we came to a place that we didn't know much about, where there are a lot of sides to be on, and we started siding with this side and that side and the other side. We were bound to wind up on the wrong side sometimes. P J Orourke
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There is the love and marriage and family kind of happiness, which is exceedingly boring to describe but nonetheless is important to have and dreadful not to have. P J Orourke
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Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy. P J Orourke
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Political leaders are expert at saying nothing. P J Orourke
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Predicting innovation is something of a self-canceling exercise: the most probable innovations are probably the least innovative. P J Orourke
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Politicians are wonderful people as long as they stay away from things they don't understand, such as working for a living. P J Orourke
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The young are adept at learning, but even more adept at avoiding it. P J Orourke
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We Americans, who invented traffic, are always being startled by the forms into which it has evolved around the world. P J Orourke
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I knew Hunter Thompson since the '70s, and I loved him, but he would wear me out as I got older. P J Orourke
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It's hard to be serious in life. P J Orourke
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Politics are for foreigners with their endless wrongs and paltry rights. Politics are a lousy way to get things done. Politics are, like God's infinite mercy, a last resort. P J Orourke
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The killjoys initiated automobile crash standards so rigorous that we can't buy a car that hasn't been dropped from the top of a phone pole with our whole family strapped inside. P J Orourke
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If it were not for government regulation of big corporations, executives at companies like Enron, WorldCom, Tyco, they could have cheated investors out of millions. P J Orourke
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The Tea Party has definitely increased political involvement, not only among Tea Party members but among people who oppose the Tea Party members. It's been a general stimulus. P J Orourke
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All business is capitalistic. You require capital for any sort of business endeavour. P J Orourke
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Fortunately, I'm married to someone who's a pretty excellent parent! P J Orourke
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The people who despise America are the editors of the 'New Statesman.' Their green-card applications must have been turned down. P J Orourke
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No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism. P J Orourke
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Lyndon Johnson faced some clear moral issues. P J Orourke
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Even Jimmy Carter can't be wrong all the time. P J Orourke
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I was never a Democrat. I went from Republican to Maoist and then back again. P J Orourke
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Lack of romance is my real objection to writing on a computer. P J Orourke
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Why is Iraq so easy to harm and so hard to help? P J Orourke
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