Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? Mark Twain
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself. Mark Twain
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Use the right word, not its second cousin. Mark Twain
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Every person is a book, each year a chapter, Mark Twain
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There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species. Mark Twain
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Don't explain your author, read him right and he explains himself. Mark Twain
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All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out. Mark Twain
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn Mark Twain
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest. Mark Twain
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If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. Mark Twain
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Mark Twain
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. Mark Twain
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain
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Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. Mark Twain
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Mark Twain
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If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain
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All emotion is involuntary when genuine. Mark Twain
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain
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It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Mark Twain
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. Mark Twain
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I can live for two months on a good compliment. Mark Twain
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. Mark Twain
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As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake. Mark Twain
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All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. Mark Twain
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We have the best government that money can buy. Mark Twain
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. Mark Twain
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Prosperity is the best protector of principle. Mark Twain
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain
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Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. Mark Twain
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Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. Mark Twain
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Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain
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The common eye sees only the outside of things, and judges by that, but the seeing eye pierces through and reads the heart and the soul, finding there capacities which the outside didn't indicate or promise, and which the other kind of eye couldn't detect. Mark Twain
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If books are not good company, where shall I find it? Mark Twain
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I came in with Halley's Comet in 1835. It is coming again next year, and I expect to go out with it. It will be the greatest disappointment of my life if I don't go out with Halley's Comet. The Almighty has said, no doubt: "Now here are these two unaccountable freaks; they came in together, they must go out together. Mark Twain
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal. Mark Twain
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[N]o country can be well governed unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their minds that they are the guardians of the law and that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution, nothing more. Mark Twain
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To avoid lying, do nothing that needs covering. Mark Twain
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case. Mark Twain
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I do not see how astronomers can help feeling exquisitely insignificant, for every new page of the Book of the Heavens they open reveals to them more and more that the world we are so proud of is to the universe of careening globes as is one mosquito to the winged and hoofed flocks and herds that darken the air and populate the plains and forests of all the earth. If you killed the mosquito would it be missed? Verily, What is Man, that he should be considered of God? Mark Twain
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers; the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed. Mark Twain
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One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color. Mark Twain
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good. Mark Twain
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Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Mark Twain
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All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side. Mark Twain
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It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time he piles a new one on top of his to threaten our light. There is no limit to this soundness but the sky. Mark Twain
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth. Mark Twain
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker. Mark Twain
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first. Mark Twain
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The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself. Mark Twain
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After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me. Mark Twain
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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Mark Twain
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain. Mark Twain
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Enthusiasm is caught, not taught. Mark Twain
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Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. Mark Twain
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It were not best that we should all think alike; it is difference of opinion that makes horse-races. Mark Twain
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Formerly, if you killed a man, it was possible that you were insane-but now, if you, having friends and money, kill a man, it is evidence that you are a lunatic. Mark Twain
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An experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite picturesque liar. Mark Twain
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Definition of a classic - something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain
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A powerful agent is the right word. Whenever we come upon one of those intensely right words in a book or a newspaper the resulting effect is physical as well as spiritual, and electrically prompt. Mark Twain
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I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. I studied a minute, sort of holding my breath, and then says to myself, All right, then, I'll GO to hell. Mark Twain
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The radical invents the views. When he has worn them out the conservative adopts them. Mark Twain
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Death, the only immortal who treats us all alike, whose pity and whose peace and whose refuge are for all - the soiled and the pure, the rich and the poor, the loved and the unloved. Mark Twain
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Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. Mark Twain
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Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him. Mark Twain
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for certain that just ain't true." Thinking that you know the future. Mark Twain
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were. Mark Twain
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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to. Mark Twain
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Definite speech means clarity of mind. Mark Twain
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing; the local papers said nothing against it; the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind. Mark Twain
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God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country. Mark Twain
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