Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


We wish to learn all the curious, outlandish ways of all the different countries, so that we can "show off" and astonish people when we get home. We wish to excite the envy of our untraveled friends with our strange foreign fashions which we can't shake off. Mark Twain
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The signs of excessive indulgence in this destructive pastime are easily detectable. They are these: A disposition to eat, to drink, to smoke, to meet together convivially, to laugh, to joke, and tell indelicate stories- and mainly, a yearning to paint pictures. Mark Twain
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While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats. Mark Twain
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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. Mark Twain
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave; it is merely a loose application of the word. Consider the flea! - incomparably the bravest of all the creatures of God, if ignorance of fear were courage. Mark Twain
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It was the schoolboy who said, ""Faith is believing what you know ain't so."" Mark Twain
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I am pushing sixty. That is enough exercise for me. Mark Twain
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We grant God the possession of all the qualities of mind except the one that keeps the others healthy; that watches over their dignity; that focuses their vision true-humor. Mark Twain
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Good judgment comes from experience. And where does experience come from? Experience comes from bad judgment. Mark Twain
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The easy part of being an artist is figuring out the message that everyone else is ready to hear. The hard part is waiting for the proper lull to make the announcement. Mark Twain
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The Mississippi River will always have its own way; no engineering skill can persuade it to do otherwise... Mark Twain
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My idea of our civilization is that it is a shoddy, poor thing and full of cruelties, vanities, arrogances, meannesses and hypocrisies. Mark Twain
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We must put up with our clothes as they are - they have their reason for existing. They are on us to expose us - to advertise what we wear them to conceal. They are a sign; a sign of insincerity; a sign of suppressed vanity; a pretense that we desire gorgeous colors and the graces of harmony and form; and we put them on to propagate that lie and back it up. Mark Twain
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To be satisfied with what one has; that is wealth. As long as one sorely needs a certain additional amount, that man isn't rich. Mark Twain
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Genius, like gold and precious stones, is chiefly prized because of its rarity. Mark Twain
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Recipe for a long life: Only smoke while awake. Only run when being chased. Mark Twain
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Every man feels that his experience is unlike that of anybody else and therefore he should write it down- he finds also that everybody else has thought and felt on some points precisely as he has done, and therefore he should write it down. Mark Twain
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Our best built certainties are but sand-houses and subject to damage from any wind of doubt that blows Mark Twain
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Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of growths Mark Twain
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The rain ...falls upon the just and the unjust alike; a thing which would not happen if I were superintending the rain's affairs. No, I would rain softly and sweetly on the just, but if I caught a sample of the unjust outdoors, I would drown him. Mark Twain
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Censorship is telling a man he can't have a steak just because a baby can't chew it. Mark Twain
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Conformity-the natural instinct to passively yield to that vague something recognized as authority. Mark Twain
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When you catch an adjective, kill it. Mark Twain
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The difference between a Miracle and a Fact is exactly the difference between a mermaid and a seal. Mark Twain
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Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it? Mark Twain
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I was sorry to have my name mentioned as one of the great authors, because they have a sad habit of dying off. Chaucer is dead, Spencer is dead, so is Milton, so is Shakespeare, and I'm not feeling so well myself. Mark Twain
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Use the right word, not its second cousin. Mark Twain
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Every person is a book, each year a chapter, Mark Twain
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There are some few people I respect and admire, but I don't think much of the species. Mark Twain
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Don't explain your author, read him right and he explains himself. Mark Twain
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All kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out. Mark Twain
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Education that consists in learning things and not the meaning of them is feeding upon the husks and not the corn Mark Twain
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I felt it was my duty to praise all of God's works with fervent enthusiasm. At the same time I killed flies in my house in a spirit of hatred, exasperation and contempt. My praise to God for all his works was dishonest, the act of killing the fly was honest. Mark Twain
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If your only tool is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. Mark Twain
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The trouble with the world is not that people know too little; it's that they know so many things that just aren't so. Mark Twain
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The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up. Mark Twain
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There are basically two types of people. People who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded. Mark Twain
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain
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Loyalty to the country always. Loyalty to the government when it deserves it. Mark Twain
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear. Mark Twain
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If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat. Mark Twain
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All emotion is involuntary when genuine. Mark Twain
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Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society. Mark Twain
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It usually takes me more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech. Mark Twain
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone, you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. Mark Twain
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I can live for two months on a good compliment. Mark Twain
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There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist. Mark Twain
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As an example to others, and not that I care for moderation myself, it has always been my rule never to smoke when asleep, and never to refrain from smoking when awake. Mark Twain
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All you need is ignorance and confidence and the success is sure. Mark Twain
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We have the best government that money can buy. Mark Twain
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'Classic.' A book which people praise and don't read. Mark Twain
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Prosperity is the best protector of principle. Mark Twain
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I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. Mark Twain
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Don't say the old lady screamed. Bring her on and let her scream. Mark Twain
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Do not tell fish stories where the people know you; but particularly, don't tell them where they know the fish. Mark Twain
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. Mark Twain
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Wilson stopped and stood silent. Inattention dies a quick and sure death when a speaker does that. Mark Twain
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What a man wants with religion in these breadless times, surpasses my comprehension. Mark Twain
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I always did hate for anyone to know what my plans or hopes or prospects were?for, if I kept people in ignorance in these matters, no one could be disappointed but myself, if they were not realized. Mark Twain
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My interest in my work dies a sudden and violent death when the work is done. Mark Twain
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when the human race is not grotesque it is because it is asleep and losing its opportunity. Mark Twain
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Persons who think there is no such thing as luck good or bad are entitled to their opinion, although I think they ought to be shot for it. Mark Twain
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He [George Washington Cable] has taught me to abhor and detest the Sabbath day and hunt up new and troublesome ways to dishonor it. Mark Twain
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It is a mystery that is hidden from me by reason that the emergency requiring the fathoming of it hath not in my life-days occurred, and so, not having no need to know this thing, I abide barren of the knowledge. Mark Twain
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None but the dead have free speech. Mark Twain
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The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can't knock it out of him. Mark Twain
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money. Mark Twain
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Fame is a vapor, popularity an accident; the only earthly certainty is oblivion. Mark Twain
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The history of our race, and each individual's experience, are sown thick with evidence that a truth is not hard to kill and that a lie told well is immortal. Mark Twain
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How little a thing can make us happy when we feel that we have earned it. Mark Twain
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