Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy. Mark Twain
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Sing like no one is listening, LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT, dance like nobody's watcbing, and live like it's heaven on earth. Mark Twain
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Mark Twain
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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read- Mark Twain
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes. Mark Twain
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics. Mark Twain
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time. Mark Twain
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again. Mark Twain
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it. Mark Twain
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart. Mark Twain
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Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness. Mark Twain
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Ah, if he could only die temporarily! Mark Twain
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If Christians should vote their duty to God at the polls, they would carry every election, and do it with ease. They would elect every clean candidate in the United States, and defeat every soiled one. Their prodigious power would be quickly realized and recognized, and afterward there would be no unclean candidates upon any ticket, and graft would cease. Mark Twain
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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer Mark Twain
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques. Mark Twain
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Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately. Mark Twain
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If one is honest there is no need to remember. Mark Twain
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life. Mark Twain
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On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined. Mark Twain
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by. Mark Twain
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No man has an appreciation so various that his judgment is good upon all varieties of literary work. Mark Twain
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it. Mark Twain
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I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain
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I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered. Mark Twain
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style. Mark Twain
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I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently Mark Twain
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label. Mark Twain
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The convention missionaries call "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice. Mark Twain
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In literature imitations do not imitate. Mark Twain
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The spirit of Christianity proclaims the brotherhood of the race and the meaning of that strong word has not been left to guesswork, but made tremendously definite - the Christian must forgive his brother man all crimes he can imagine and commit, and all insults he can conceive and utter - forgive these injuries how many times? - seventy times seven - another way of saying there shall be no limit to this forgiveness. That is the spirit and the law of Christianity. Mark Twain
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. Mark Twain
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary. Mark Twain
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The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk. Mark Twain
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least. Mark Twain
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Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh. Mark Twain
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The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes. Mark Twain
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Mark Twain
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. Mark Twain
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There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars. Mark Twain
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If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be. Mark Twain
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I am personally acquainted with hundreds of journalists, and the opinion of the majority of them would not be worth tuppence in private, but when they speak in print it is the newspaper that is talking (the pygmy scribe is not visible) and then their utterances shake the community like the thunders of prophecy. Mark Twain
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A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse. Mark Twain
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You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly-Tom's Aunt Polly, she is-and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before. Mark Twain
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Figures don't lie, but liars figure. Mark Twain
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A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes. Mark Twain
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I like a thin book because it will Steady a Table, a leather volume because it will Strop a Razor, and a heavy book because it can be Thrown at a Cat. Mark Twain
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I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion. Mark Twain
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not. Mark Twain
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Troubles are only mental; it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them. Mark Twain
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There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled. Mark Twain
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Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable. Mark Twain
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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty. Mark Twain
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I believe I have had the most trouble with a portrait which I painted in installments - the head on one canvas and the bust on another. Mark Twain
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. Mark Twain
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S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think? Mark Twain
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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot. Mark Twain
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn; and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours. Mark Twain
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious. Mark Twain
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Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others. Mark Twain
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There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work. Mark Twain
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Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72. Mark Twain
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A man with a hump-backed uncle mustn't make fun of another man's cross-eyed aunt Mark Twain
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December is the toughest month of the year. Others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, October, August, and February. Mark Twain
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He who asks is a fool for five minutes, but he who does not ask remains a fool forever. Mark Twain
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself. Mark Twain
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I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful. Mark Twain
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius Mark Twain
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. Mark Twain
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma. Mark Twain
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it. Mark Twain
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