Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style. Mark Twain
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I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently Mark Twain
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label. Mark Twain
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The convention missionaries call "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice. Mark Twain
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In literature imitations do not imitate. Mark Twain
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The spirit of Christianity proclaims the brotherhood of the race and the meaning of that strong word has not been left to guesswork, but made tremendously definite - the Christian must forgive his brother man all crimes he can imagine and commit, and all insults he can conceive and utter - forgive these injuries how many times? - seventy times seven - another way of saying there shall be no limit to this forgiveness. That is the spirit and the law of Christianity. Mark Twain
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There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars. Mark Twain
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If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be. Mark Twain
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I am personally acquainted with hundreds of journalists, and the opinion of the majority of them would not be worth tuppence in private, but when they speak in print it is the newspaper that is talking (the pygmy scribe is not visible) and then their utterances shake the community like the thunders of prophecy. Mark Twain
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The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy. Mark Twain
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My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territory-an office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and dignities of Treasurer, Comptroller, Secretary of State, and Acting Governor in the Governor's absence. A salary of eighteen hundred dollars a year and the title of "Mr. Secretary," gave to the great position an air of wild and imposing grandeur. I was young and ignorant, and I envied my brother. Mark Twain
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It was in 1590-winter. Austria was far away from the world, and asleep; it was still the Middle Ages in Austria, and promised to remain so forever. Some even set it away back centuries upon centuries and said that by the mental and spiritual clock it was still the Age of Belief in Austria. But they meant it as a compliment, not a slur, and it was so taken, and we were all proud of it. I remember it well, although I was only a boy; and I remember, too, the pleasure it gave me. Mark Twain
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I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself. Mark Twain
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I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful. Mark Twain
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Hunger is the handmaid of genius Mark Twain
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What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. Mark Twain
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When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma. Mark Twain
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What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it. Mark Twain
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I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. Mark Twain
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Every man is a moon; he has a side no one sees. Mark Twain
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. Mark Twain
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Some of the worst things in my life never even happened. Mark Twain
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Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. Mark Twain
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen. Mark Twain
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To us, our house was not unsentient matter - it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction. Mark Twain
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. Mark Twain
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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me. Mark Twain
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race. Mark Twain
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The more I know people, the more I love my dog. Mark Twain
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles Mark Twain
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You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly-Tom's Aunt Polly, she is-and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before. Mark Twain
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Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savage's sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convert's enthusiasm. You could sit down and make yourself easy now. He would take the ax and convert the rest of the nation himself. Mark Twain
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not. Mark Twain
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Mark Twain
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We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents. Mark Twain
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How often we recall with regret that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good. Mark Twain
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Inherently, each one of us has the substance within to achieve whatever our goals and dreams define. What is different for each of us is the training, education, knowledge and insight to utilize what we already have. Mark Twain
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious. Mark Twain
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Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others. Mark Twain
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There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work. Mark Twain
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Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72. Mark Twain
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The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of this world'd luxuries, king by grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took: we know it because she repented. Mark Twain
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The real yellow peril: Gold. Mark Twain
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Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them; the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent. Mark Twain
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A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a novel. I know this from experience. He has no clear idea of his story; in fact he has no story. He merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality, and he trusts he can plunge those people into those incidents with interesting results. Mark Twain
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Who are we to create a heaven and hell for ourselves, excluding animals and plants in the bargain, just because we have the power to rationalize? Mark Twain
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Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens? Mark Twain
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Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Mark Twain
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Time spent with your children is time wisely spent. Mark Twain
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To avoid being drawn into error, keep a firm grip on the truth. Mark Twain
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A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. Mark Twain
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When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years. Mark Twain
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The only certainties in life are death and taxes. Mark Twain
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My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings. Mark Twain
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The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year. Mark Twain
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Do one thing every day you don't want to do. Mark Twain
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Wagner has some great moments, but a lot of miserable half hours. Mark Twain
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A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener. Mark Twain
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There is only one good sex. The female one. Mark Twain
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The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous. . . . Mark Twain
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Ours is the "land of the free"-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.) Mark Twain
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In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it. Mark Twain
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Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy. Mark Twain
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Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session. Mark Twain
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Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment. Mark Twain
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When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one. Mark Twain
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A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it. Mark Twain
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In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain
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God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins. Mark Twain
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My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. Mark Twain
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