Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. Mark Twain

We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there. Mark Twain

We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced. Mark Twain

A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life. Mark Twain

On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined. Mark Twain

You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by. Mark Twain

No man has an appreciation so various that his judgment is good upon all varieties of literary work. Mark Twain

The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it. Mark Twain

I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain

I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered. Mark Twain

Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style. Mark Twain

I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently Mark Twain

The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label. Mark Twain

The convention missionaries call "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice. Mark Twain

In literature imitations do not imitate. Mark Twain

The spirit of Christianity proclaims the brotherhood of the race and the meaning of that strong word has not been left to guesswork, but made tremendously definite - the Christian must forgive his brother man all crimes he can imagine and commit, and all insults he can conceive and utter - forgive these injuries how many times? - seventy times seven - another way of saying there shall be no limit to this forgiveness. That is the spirit and the law of Christianity. Mark Twain

There are only two types of speakers in the world. 1. The nervous and 2. Liars. Mark Twain

If all the fools in this world should die, lordly God how lonely I should be. Mark Twain

I am personally acquainted with hundreds of journalists, and the opinion of the majority of them would not be worth tuppence in private, but when they speak in print it is the newspaper that is talking (the pygmy scribe is not visible) and then their utterances shake the community like the thunders of prophecy. Mark Twain

The very "marks" on the bottom of a piece of rare crockery are able to throw me into a gibbering ecstasy. Mark Twain

My brother had just been appointed Secretary of Nevada Territory-an office of such majesty that it concentrated in itself the duties and dignities of Treasurer, Comptroller, Secretary of State, and Acting Governor in the Governor's absence. A salary of eighteen hundred dollars a year and the title of "Mr. Secretary," gave to the great position an air of wild and imposing grandeur. I was young and ignorant, and I envied my brother. Mark Twain

It was in 1590-winter. Austria was far away from the world, and asleep; it was still the Middle Ages in Austria, and promised to remain so forever. Some even set it away back centuries upon centuries and said that by the mental and spiritual clock it was still the Age of Belief in Austria. But they meant it as a compliment, not a slur, and it was so taken, and we were all proud of it. I remember it well, although I was only a boy; and I remember, too, the pleasure it gave me. Mark Twain

I like a good story well told. That is the reason I am sometimes forced to tell them myself. Mark Twain

I have learned that human existence is essentially tragic. It is only the love of God, disclosed and enacted in Christ, that redeems the human tragedy and makes it tolerable. No, more than tolerable. Wonderful. Mark Twain

Hunger is the handmaid of genius Mark Twain

What work I have done I have done because it has been play. If it had been work I shouldn't have done it. Mark Twain

When a man's dog turns against hime, it is time for his wife to pack her trunk and go home to mamma. Mark Twain

What is the most rigorous law of our being? Growth. No smallest atom of our moral, mental, or physical structure can stand still a year. It grows - it must grow; nothing can prevent it. Mark Twain

I was a-trembling, because I'd got to decide, forever, betwixt two things, and I knowed it. Mark Twain

Every man is a moon; he has a side no one sees. Mark Twain

Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. Mark Twain

Some of the worst things in my life never even happened. Mark Twain

Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. Mark Twain

At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen. Mark Twain

To us, our house was not unsentient matter - it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction. Mark Twain

I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. Mark Twain

When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me. Mark Twain

Etiquette requires us to admire the human race. Mark Twain

The more I know people, the more I love my dog. Mark Twain

Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles Mark Twain

You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly-Tom's Aunt Polly, she is-and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before. Mark Twain

Inherently, each one of us has the substance within to achieve whatever our goals and dreams define. What is different for each of us is the training, education, knowledge and insight to utilize what we already have. Mark Twain

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious. Mark Twain

Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others. Mark Twain

There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work. Mark Twain

Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72. Mark Twain

The real yellow peril: Gold. Mark Twain

Frankenstein took some flesh and bones and blood and made a man out of them; the man ran away and fell to raping and robbing and murdering everywhere, and Frankenstein was horrified and in despair, and said, I made him, without asking his consent, and it makes me responsible for every crime he commits. I am the criminal, he is innocent. Mark Twain

A man who is not born with the novel-writing gift has a troublesome time of it when he tries to build a novel. I know this from experience. He has no clear idea of his story; in fact he has no story. He merely has some people in his mind, and an incident or two, also a locality, and he trusts he can plunge those people into those incidents with interesting results. Mark Twain

Who are we to create a heaven and hell for ourselves, excluding animals and plants in the bargain, just because we have the power to rationalize? Mark Twain

Don't you know that the very thing a man dreads is the thing that always happens? Mark Twain

Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Mark Twain

Time spent with your children is time wisely spent. Mark Twain

To avoid being drawn into error, keep a firm grip on the truth. Mark Twain

A pessimist is a well-informed optimist. Mark Twain

When I was 17, my father was so stupid, I didn't want to be seen with him in public. When I was 24, I was amazed at how much the old man had learned in just 7 years. Mark Twain

The only certainties in life are death and taxes. Mark Twain

My heart goes out to anyone who is making his first appearance before an audience of human beings. Mark Twain

The average man is what his environment and his superstitions have made him; and their function is to make him an ass. He can't add up three or four new circumstances together and perceive what they mean; it is beyond him. He is not capable of observing for himself; he has to get everything at second-hand. If what are miscalled the lower animals were as silly as man is, they would all perish from the earth in a year. Mark Twain

Do one thing every day you don't want to do. Mark Twain

Wagner has some great moments, but a lot of miserable half hours. Mark Twain

A street in Constantinople is a picture which one ought to see once-not oftener. Mark Twain

There is only one good sex. The female one. Mark Twain

The country is the real thing, the substantial thing, the eternal thing, it is the thing to watch over and care for and be loyal to; institutions are extraneous. . . . Mark Twain

Ours is the "land of the free"-nobody denies that-nobody challenges it. (Maybe it is because we won't let other people testify.) Mark Twain

In all my travels the thing that has impressed me the most is the universal brotherhood of man-what there is of it. Mark Twain

Forget and forgive. This is not difficult when properly understood. It means forget inconvenient duties, then forgive yourself for forgetting. By rigid practice and stern determination, it comes easy. Mark Twain

Our lives, our liberty, and our property are never in greater danger than when Congress is in session. Mark Twain

Always obey your parents. When they are present. This is the best policy in the long run. Because if you don't, they will make you. Most parents think they know better than you do, and you can generally make more by humoring that superstition than you can by acting on your own better judgment. Mark Twain

When you cannot get a compliment any other way pay yourself one. Mark Twain



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