Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Mark Twain
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The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. Mark Twain
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Don't let schooling interfere with your education. Mark Twain
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. Mark Twain
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. Mark Twain
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Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. Mark Twain
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. Mark Twain
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie. Mark Twain
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The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. Mark Twain
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. Mark Twain
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Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. Mark Twain
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I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. Mark Twain
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. Mark Twain
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There are lies, damned lies and statistics. Mark Twain
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Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. Mark Twain
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I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. Mark Twain
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. Mark Twain
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The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. Mark Twain
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The Bible has noble poetry in it... and some good morals and a wealth of obscenity, and upwards of a thousand lies. Mark Twain
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Ah, that shows you the power of music, that magician of magician, who lifts his wand and says his mysterious word and all things real pass away and the phantoms of your mind walk before you clothed in flesh. Mark Twain
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Most people are bothered by those passages of Scripture they do not understand, but the passages that bother me are those I do understand. Mark Twain
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A sincere compliment is always grateful to a lady, so long as you don't try to knock her down with it. Mark Twain
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I said nothing of the sort. Mark Twain
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When in doubt tell the truth. It will confound your enemies and astound your friends. Mark Twain
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I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars. Mark Twain
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It is poison - rank poison - to knuckle down to care and hardships. They must come to us all, albeit in different shapes, and we may not escape them. It is not possible. But we may swindle them out of half of their puissance with a stiff upper lip. Mark Twain
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Is not this insanity plea becoming rather common? Is it not so common that the reader confidently expects to see it offered in every criminal case that comes before the courts?... Really, what we want now, is not laws against crime, but a law against insanity. Mark Twain
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Men are easily dealt with-but when you get the women started, you are in for it, you know. Mark Twain
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In my experience, previously counted chickens never do hatch. Mark Twain
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As I slowly grow wise I briskly grow cautious. Mark Twain
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Words are only painted fire, a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong. Mark Twain
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I thoroughly disapprove of duels. If a man should challenge me, I would take him kindly and forgivingly by the hand and lead him to a quiet place and kill him. Mark Twain
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There are people who strictly deprive themselves of each and every eatable, drinkable, and smokable which has in any way acquired a shady reputation. They pay this price for health. And health is all they get for it. How strange it is. It is like paying out your whole fortune for a cow that has gone dry. Mark Twain
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Every time you stop a school, you will have to build a jail. What you gain at one end you lose at the other. It's like feeding a dog on his own tail. It won't fatten the dog. Mark Twain
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Distance lends enchantment to the view. Mark Twain
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The true Southern watermelon is a boon apart, and not to be mentioned with commoner things. It is chief of this world'd luxuries, king by grace of God over all the fruits of the earth. When one has tasted it, he knows what the angels eat. It was not a Southern watermelon that Eve took: we know it because she repented. Mark Twain
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive. Mark Twain
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. Mark Twain
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Some of the worst things in my life never even happened. Mark Twain
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Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. Mark Twain
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen. Mark Twain
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To us, our house was not unsentient matter - it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction. Mark Twain
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. Mark Twain
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Inherently, each one of us has the substance within to achieve whatever our goals and dreams define. What is different for each of us is the training, education, knowledge and insight to utilize what we already have. Mark Twain
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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. Mark Twain
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If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and man. Mark Twain
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We may not pay Satan reverence, for that would be indiscreet, but we can at least respect his talents. Mark Twain
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How often we recall with regret that Napoleon once shot at a magazine editor and missed him and killed a publisher. But we remember with charity that his intentions were good. Mark Twain
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there was no crime in unconscious plagiarism; that I committed it everyday, that he committed it everyday, that every man alive on earth who writes or speaks commits it every day and not merely once or twice but every time he open his mouth... there is nothing of our own in it except some slight change born of our temperament, character, environment, teachings and associations Mark Twain
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It is sound judgment to put on a bold face and play your hand for a hundred times what it is worth; forty-nine times out of fifty nobody dares to call it, and you roll in the chips. Mark Twain
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Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library out of a library that hadn't a book in it. Mark Twain
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Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon - laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution - these can lift at a colossal humbug - push it a little - weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. Mark Twain
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If they had not landed there would be some reason for celebrating the fact. Mark Twain
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The two Great Unknowns, the two Illustrious Conjecturabilities! They are the best known unknown persons that have ever drawn breath upon the planet. (the Devil and Shakespeare.) Mark Twain
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It's not the good that die young, it's the lucky. Mark Twain
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Always do right. This will gratify some people, and astonish the rest. Mark Twain
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Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. Mark Twain
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He is now fast rising from affluence to poverty. Mark Twain
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Loyalty to the nation all the time, loyalty to the government when it deserves it. Mark Twain
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A new oath holds pretty well; but... when it is become old, and frayed out, and damaged by a dozen annual retryings of its remains, it ceases to be serviceable; any little strain will snap it. Mark Twain
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In certain trying circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity furnishes a relief denied even to prayer. Mark Twain
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God: The most popular scapegoat for our sins. Mark Twain
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My mother had a slender, small body, but a large heart - a heart so large that everybody's joys found welcome in it, and hospitable accommodation. Mark Twain
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But I... never could make a good impromptu speech without several hours to prepare it. Mark Twain
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All kings is mostly rapscallions. Mark Twain
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He saw nearly all things as through a glass eye, darkly. Mark Twain
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He is the only animal that loves his neighbor as himself, and cuts his throat if his theology isn't straight. Mark Twain
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Life does not consist mainly-or even largely- of facts and happenings. It consists mainly of the storm of thoughts that is forever blowing through one's head. Mark Twain
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There isn't a single human characteristic that can be safely labeled as American. Mark Twain
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Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear-not absence of fear. Except a creature be part coward it is not a compliment to say it is brave. Mark Twain
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