Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing. Mark Twain
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs. Mark Twain
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable. Mark Twain
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There is no such thing as an ordinary life. Mark Twain
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Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow. Mark Twain
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I have stopped smoking now and then, for a few months at a time, but it was not on principle, it was only to show off; it was to pulverize those critics who said I was a slave to my habits and couldn't break my bonds. Mark Twain
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The best of us would rather be popular than right. Mark Twain
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Circumstance - which moves by laws of its own, regardless of parties and policies, and whose decrees are final and must be obeyed by all - and will be Mark Twain
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I have never taken any exercise, except sleeping and resting, and I never intend to take any. Exercise is loathsome. And it cannot be any benefit when you are tired; and I was always tired. Mark Twain
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When all is said and done, the one sole condition that makes spiritual happiness and preserves it is the absence of doubt. Mark Twain
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Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness. Mark Twain
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Ah, if he could only die temporarily! Mark Twain
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If Christians should vote their duty to God at the polls, they would carry every election, and do it with ease. They would elect every clean candidate in the United States, and defeat every soiled one. Their prodigious power would be quickly realized and recognized, and afterward there would be no unclean candidates upon any ticket, and graft would cease. Mark Twain
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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer Mark Twain
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One frequently only finds out how really beautiful a really beautiful woman is after considerable acquaintance with her; and the rule applies to Niagara Falls, to majestic mountains, and to mosques-especially to mosques. Mark Twain
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Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal... In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately. Mark Twain
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If one is honest there is no need to remember. Mark Twain
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A thing long expected takes the form of the unexpected when at last it comes. Mark Twain
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I like a thin book because it will Steady a Table, a leather volume because it will Strop a Razor, and a heavy book because it can be Thrown at a Cat. Mark Twain
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I have too much respect for the truth to drag it out on every trifling occasion. Mark Twain
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Simple rules for saving money: To save half, when you are fired by an eager impulse to contribute to a charity, wait and count to forty. To save three quarters, count sixty. To save all, count sixty-five. Mark Twain
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A man who chooses not to read is just as ignorant as a man who cannot read. Mark Twain
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The cost of living hasn't effected its popularity. Mark Twain
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The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think. Mark Twain
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The man who isn't a pessimist is a damned fool. Mark Twain
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The Bible is a wonderful book; you can prove anything you want with it. Mark Twain
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The two most important days if your life are the day you are born...and the day you find out why having multiple screens for your computer is so awesome because now reports and grants are like a billion times easier! Mark Twain
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Figures don't lie, but liars figure. Mark Twain
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Sing like no one is listening, LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT, dance like nobody's watcbing, and live like it's heaven on earth. Mark Twain
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Mark Twain
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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read- Mark Twain
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes. Mark Twain
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics. Mark Twain
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time. Mark Twain
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again. Mark Twain
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it. Mark Twain
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart. Mark Twain
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Humanity has unquestionably one really effective weapon - laughter. Power, money, persuasion, supplication, persecution - these can lift at a colossal humbug - push it a little - weaken it a little, century by century; but only laughter can blow it to rags and atoms at a blast. Against the assault of laughter nothing can stand. Mark Twain
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If they had not landed there would be some reason for celebrating the fact. Mark Twain
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The two Great Unknowns, the two Illustrious Conjecturabilities! They are the best known unknown persons that have ever drawn breath upon the planet. (the Devil and Shakespeare.) Mark Twain
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It's not the good that die young, it's the lucky. Mark Twain
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect. Mark Twain
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It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog. Mark Twain
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Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. Mark Twain
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All generalizations are false, including this one. Mark Twain
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It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense. Mark Twain
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A man's character may be learned from the adjectives which he habitually uses in conversation. Mark Twain
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The finest clothing made is a person's own skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. Mark Twain
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Don't let schooling interfere with your education. Mark Twain
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Biographies are but the clothes and buttons of the man. The biography of the man himself cannot be written. Mark Twain
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A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds. Mark Twain
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Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain. Mark Twain
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Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education. Mark Twain
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George Washington, as a boy, was ignorant of the commonest accomplishments of youth. He could not even lie. Mark Twain
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The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. Mark Twain
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In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of 24 hours. Mark Twain
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Good breeding consists in concealing how much we think of ourselves and how little we think of the other person. Mark Twain
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I have been complimented many times and they always embarrass me; I always feel that they have not said enough. Mark Twain
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Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't. Mark Twain
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There are lies, damned lies and statistics. Mark Twain
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Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg cackles as if she laid an asteroid. Mark Twain
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I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way. Mark Twain
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Education consists mainly of what we have unlearned. Mark Twain
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The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives. Mark Twain
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As to the adjective: when in doubt, strike it out. Mark Twain
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To get the right word in the right place is a rare achievement. To condense the diffused light of a page of thought into the luminous flash of a single sentence, is worthy to rank as a prize composition just by itself...Anybody can have ideas-the difficulty is to express them without squandering a quire of paper on an idea that ought to be reduced to one glittering paragraph. Mark Twain
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I couldn't bear to think about it; and yet, somehow, I couldn't think about nothing else. Mark Twain
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The only difference between reality and fiction is that fiction needs to be credible. Mark Twain
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar - for me. I am the only judge. People who claim to know say that I smoke the worst cigars in the world. They bring their own cigars when they come to my house. Mark Twain
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For we were little Christian children and early learned the value of forbidden fruit. Mark Twain
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