Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961

Truth is mighty and will prevail. There is nothing wrong with this, except that it ain't so. Mark Twain

To be good is noble; but to show others how to be good is nobler and no trouble. Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that blushes - or needs to. Mark Twain

Don't wake up a woman in love. Let her dream, so that she does not weep when she returns to her bitter reality Mark Twain

Gold in its native state is but dull, unornamental stuff, and only lowborn metals excite the admiration of the ignorant with an ostentatious glitter. However, like the rest of the world, I still go on underrating men of gold and glorifying men of mica. Mark Twain

I always take Scotch whiskey at night as a preventive of toothache. I have never had the toothache; and what is more, I never intend to have it. Mark Twain

I like Joan of Arc best of all my books; and it is the best; I know it perfectly well. Mark Twain

[I] shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. Indeed, upon second thought, I will not use it then, for it is unchristian, inelegant, and degrading-though to speak truly I do not see how house rent and taxes are going to be discussed worth a cent without it. Mark Twain

Begin with the determination to succeed and the work is half done already. Mark Twain

Difference between savage and civilized man: one is painted, the other gilded. Mark Twain

It is my custom to keep on talking until I get the audience cowed. Mark Twain

One must keep one's character. Earn a character first if you can, and if you can't, then assume one. Mark Twain

When a person is accustomed to one hundred and thirty-eight in the shade, his ideas about cold weather are not valuable. Mark Twain

They spell it da Vinci and pronounce it da Vinchy. Foreigners always spell better than they pronounce. Mark Twain

It is not best that we should all think alike; it is a difference of opinion that makes horse races. Mark Twain

Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit, you would stay out and your dog would go in. Mark Twain

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one's lifetime. Mark Twain

All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country; after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best. Mark Twain

I was an arden Hayes man, but that was natural, for I was pretty young at the time, I have since convinced myself that the political opinioins of a nation are of next to no value, in any case, but that what little rag of value they posess is to be found among the old, rather than among the young. Mark Twain

I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck. Mark Twain

Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it. Mark Twain

There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one? Mark Twain

I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does". Mark Twain

Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk. Mark Twain

The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. Mark Twain

We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that. Mark Twain

One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare Mark Twain

Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Mark Twain

There is no security in life, only opportunity. Mark Twain

The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities Mark Twain

We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things. Mark Twain

The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first. Mark Twain

Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies. Broadly speaking, there are none but corn-pone opinions. And broadly speaking, Corn-Pone stands for Self-Approval. Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. The result is Conformity. Mark Twain

The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise. Mark Twain

It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail. Mark Twain

If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it. Mark Twain

Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century. Mark Twain

We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention. Mark Twain

Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse. Mark Twain

Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition. Mark Twain

If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time. Mark Twain

Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company! Mark Twain

The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too. Mark Twain

Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can. Mark Twain

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the "what is next", of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here. Mark Twain

I can teach anybody how to get, what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. Once you are crystal clear about the intended end result that you seek to produce, all the ways that it can become a done deal start to reveal themselves to you. There are many who have accomplished exactly what you want to achieve and could show you the way. You are not ready to ask them because you are not clear and you have not determined which questions need answers. Mark Twain

Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance. Mark Twain

There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. Mark Twain

It is often the case that a man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one. Mark Twain

The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate. Mark Twain

When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder. Mark Twain

It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old. Mark Twain

One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect. Mark Twain

I was born modest, but it didn't last. Mark Twain

It is easy to see that the inventor of the heaven did not originate the idea, but copied it from the show-ceremonies of some sorry little sovereign State up in the back settlements of the Orient somewhere. Mark Twain

The choir always tittered and whispered all through the service. There was once a church choir that was not ill-bred, but I have forgotten where it was. Mark Twain

Look at the mother of Washington! She raised a boy that could not tell a lie-could not tell a lie! But he never had any chance. It might have been different if he had belonged to the Washington Newspaper Correspondents' Club Mark Twain

It is the will of God that we must have critics, and missionaries, and Congressmen, and humorists, and we must bear the burden. Meantime, I seem to have been drifting into criticism myself. But that is nothing. At the worst, criticism is nothing more than a crime, and I am not unused to that. Mark Twain

Sometimes I lifted a chicken that warn't roosting comfortable, and took him along. Pap always said, take a chicken when you get achance, because if you don't want him yourself you can easy find somebody that does, and a good deed ain't ever forgot. I never see papa when he didn't want the chicken himself, but that is what he used to say, anyway. Mark Twain

I have at last, after several months' experience, made up my mind that [New York] is a splendid desert-a domed and steepled solitude, where the stranger is lonely in the midst of a million of his race. Mark Twain

A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse. Mark Twain

Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature; what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own; they are transmitted to us, trained into us. Mark Twain

Would it not be prudent to get our civilization tools together, and see how much stock is left on hand in the way of Glass Beads and Theology, and Maxim Guns and Hymn Books, and Trade Gin and Torches of Progress and Enlightenment (patent adjustable ones, good to fire villages with, upon occasion), and balance the books, and arrive at the profit and loss, so that we may intelligently decide whether to continue the business or sellout the property and start a new Civilization Scheme on the proceeds. Mark Twain

There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it. Mark Twain

Human beings can be awful cruel to one another. Mark Twain

I cherish the dreams of yesterday and dare not dwell on the err's of my past whose fate has been long decided, and effect I can not change. For the dreams of yesterday are the challenges of today, and the hope for tomorrow. Mark Twain

I hate to hear people say this Judge will vote so and so, because he is a Democrat - and this one so and so because he is a Republican. It is shameful. The Judges have the Constitution for their guidance; they have no right to any politics save the politics of rigid right and justice when they are sitting in judgment upon the great matters that come before them. Mark Twain

Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined. Mark Twain

When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them-then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart. Mark Twain

If it is a Miracle, any sort of evidence will answer, but if it is a Fact, proof is necessary Mark Twain

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