Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


Greece is a bleak, unsmiling desert, without agriculture, manufactures or commerce, apparently. What supports its poverty-stricken people or its Government, is a mystery. Mark Twain
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There was worlds of reputation in it, but no money. Mark Twain
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There are some natures which never grow large enough to speak out and say a bad act is a bad act, until they have inquired into the politics or the nationality of the man who did it. Mark Twain
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We find not much in ourselves to admire, we are always privately wanting to be like somebody else. If everybody was satisfied with himself, there would be no heroes Mark Twain
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Wagner's music is better than it sounds. Mark Twain
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It is a time when one's spirit is subdued and sad, one knows not why; when the past seems a storm-swept desolation, life a vanity and a burden, and the future but a way to death. It is a time when one is filled with vague longings; when one dreams of flight to peaceful islands in the remote solitudes of the sea, or folds his hands and says, What is the use of struggling, and toiling and worrying any more? let us give it all up. Mark Twain
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We write frankly and freely but then we modify' before we print. Mark Twain
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All I say is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they're a mighty ornery lot. It's the way they're raised. Mark Twain
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Fleas can be taught nearly anything that a congressman can. Mark Twain
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Humor is the great thing, the saving thing, after all. The minute it crops up, all our hardnesses yield, all our irritations and resentments flit away, and a sunny spirit takes their place. Mark Twain
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Noise proves nothing. Often a hen who has merely laid an egg crackles as if she laid an asteroid. Mark Twain
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There is nothing so annoying as to have two people talking when you're busy interrupting. Mark Twain
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When one has tasted it he knows what the angels eat. Mark Twain
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Words in haste do friendships waste. Mark Twain
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When I was fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have him around. When I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. Mark Twain
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He said that man's heart was the only bad heart in the animal kingdom; that man was the only animal capable of feeling malice, envy, vindictiveness, revengefulness, hatred, selfishness, the only animal that loves drunkenness, almost the only animal that could endure personal uncleanliness and a filthy habitation, the sole animal in whom was fully developed the base instinct called patriotism, the sole animal that robs, persecutes, oppresses and kills members of his own tribe, the sole animal that steals and enslaves the members of any tribe. Mark Twain
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Ignorant people think it is the noise which fighting cats make that is so aggravating, but it ain't so; it is the sickening grammar that they use. Mark Twain
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there. Mark Twain
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We never knew an ignorant person yet but was prejudiced. Mark Twain
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A marriage. . .will give a new gladness to the sunshine, a new fragrance to the flowers, a new beauty to the earth, and a new mystery to life. Mark Twain
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On with the dance, let the joy be unconfined. Mark Twain
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You need not expect to get your book right the first time. Go to work and revamp or rewrite it. God only exhibits his thunder and lightning at intervals, and so they always command attention. These are God's adjectives. You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by. Mark Twain
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No man has an appreciation so various that his judgment is good upon all varieties of literary work. Mark Twain
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The critic's symbol should be the tumble-bug: he deposits his egg in somebody else's dung, otherwise he could not hatch it. Mark Twain
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I don't believe any of you have ever read Paradise Lost, and you don't want to. That's something that you just want to take on trust. It's a classic ... something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. Mark Twain
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I will now claim - until dispossesed - that I was the first person in the world to apply the typewriter to literature. ... The early machine was full of caprices, full of defects- devilish ones. It had as many immoralities as the machine of today has virtues. After a year or two I found that it was degrading my character, so I thought I would give it to Howells. ... He took it home to Boston, and my morals began to improve, but his have never recovered. Mark Twain
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Let us guess that whenever we read a sentence & like it, we unconsciously store it away in our model-chamber; & it goes, with the myriad of its fellows, to the building, brick by brick, of the eventual edifice which we call our style. Mark Twain
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I played Chess with him and would have beaten him sometimes only he always took back his last move, and ran the game out differently Mark Twain
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The Germans are exceedingly fond of Rhine wines; they are put up in tall, slender bottles, and are considered a pleasant beverage. One tells them from vinegar by the label. Mark Twain
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The convention missionaries call "modesty" has no standard, and cannot have one, because it is opposed to nature and reason and is therefore an artificiality and subject to anybody's whim - anybody's diseased caprice. Mark Twain
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In literature imitations do not imitate. Mark Twain
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The spirit of Christianity proclaims the brotherhood of the race and the meaning of that strong word has not been left to guesswork, but made tremendously definite - the Christian must forgive his brother man all crimes he can imagine and commit, and all insults he can conceive and utter - forgive these injuries how many times? - seventy times seven - another way of saying there shall be no limit to this forgiveness. That is the spirit and the law of Christianity. Mark Twain
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India has two million gods, and worships them all. In religion all other countries are paupers; India is the only millionaire. Mark Twain
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I can always tell which is the front end of a horse, but beyond that, my art is not above the ordinary. Mark Twain
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The true charm of pedestrianism does not lie in the walking, or in the scenery, but in the talking. The walking is good to time the movement of the tongue by, and to keep the blood and the brain stirred up and active; the scenery and the woodsy smells are good to bear in upon a man an unconscious and unobtrusive charm and solace to eye and soul and sense; but the supreme pleasure comes from the talk. Mark Twain
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Laughter is the greatest weapon we have and we, as humans, use it the least. Mark Twain
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Happiness ain't a thing in itself -it's only a contrast with something that ain't pleasant. And so, as soon as the novelty is over and the force of the contrast dulled, it ain't happiness any longer, and you have to get something fresh. Mark Twain
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The master minds of all nations, in all ages, have sprung in affluent multitude from the mass of the nations, and from the mass of the nation only-not from its privileged classes. Mark Twain
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Mark Twain
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The gentle reader will never, never know what a consummate ass he can become until he goes abroad. Mark Twain
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The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people. Mark Twain
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate. Mark Twain
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The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness-your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher. Mark Twain
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes. Mark Twain
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country; after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best. Mark Twain
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I was an arden Hayes man, but that was natural, for I was pretty young at the time, I have since convinced myself that the political opinioins of a nation are of next to no value, in any case, but that what little rag of value they posess is to be found among the old, rather than among the young. Mark Twain
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I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck. Mark Twain
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it. Mark Twain
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one? Mark Twain
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I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does". Mark Twain
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Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk. Mark Twain
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. Mark Twain
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that. Mark Twain
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One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare Mark Twain
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Mark Twain
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There is no security in life, only opportunity. Mark Twain
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The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities Mark Twain
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things. Mark Twain
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The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first. Mark Twain
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies. Broadly speaking, there are none but corn-pone opinions. And broadly speaking, Corn-Pone stands for Self-Approval. Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. The result is Conformity. Mark Twain
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The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise. Mark Twain
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail. Mark Twain
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If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it. Mark Twain
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Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century. Mark Twain
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention. Mark Twain
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse. Mark Twain
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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition. Mark Twain
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If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time. Mark Twain
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company! Mark Twain
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too. Mark Twain
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