Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


Stars and shadows ain't good to see by. Mark Twain
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Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration; authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free. Mark Twain
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever. Mark Twain
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You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by. Mark Twain
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April 1. This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three hundred and sixty-four. Mark Twain
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Of the demonstrably wise there are but two; those who commit suicide, and those who keep their reasoning faculties atrophied with drink. Mark Twain
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All religions issue bibles against him, and say most injurious things about him, but we never hear his side. Mark Twain
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Anywhere is better than Paris. Paris the cold, Paris the drizzly, Paris the rainy, Paris the damnable. More than a hundred years ago somebody asked Quin, 'Did you ever see such a winter in all your life before?' 'Yes,' said he, 'Last summer.' I judge he spent his summer in Paris. Mark Twain
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A pretty air in an opera is prettier there than it could be anywhere else, I suppose, just as an honest man in politics shines more than he would elsewhere. Mark Twain
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Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot. Mark Twain
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Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? and ain't that a big enough majority in any town? Mark Twain
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In the first place God made idiots. This was for practice. Then he made proofreaders. Mark Twain
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Even popularity can be overdone. In Rome, along at first, you are full of regrets that Michelangelo died; but by and by you only regret that you didn't see him do it. Mark Twain
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Man is the Religious Animal. He is the only Religious Animal. He is the only animal that has the True Religion-several of them. Mark Twain
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The vast majority of the race, whether savage or civilized, are secretly kind-hearted and shrink from inflicting pain, but in the presence of the aggressive and pitiless minority they don't dare to assert themselves. Mark Twain
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The pitifulest thing out is a mob; that's what an army is - a mob; they don't fight with courage that's born in them, but with courage that's borrowed from their mass, and from their officers. Mark Twain
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Always do what's right. That will gratify some and surprise the rest. Mark Twain
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Two things seemed pretty apparent to me. One was that in order to be a pilot a man had to learn more than any one man ought to learn; and the other was that he must learn it all over again in a different way every 24 hours. Mark Twain
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in order to make a man or boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to attain. Mark Twain
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S'pose a man was to come to you and say Pollyvoo-franzy - what would you think? Mark Twain
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The fact that man knows right from wrong proves his intellectual superiority to the other creatures; but the fact that he can do wrong proves his moral inferiority to any creatures that cannot. Mark Twain
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It is my belief that nearly any invented quotation, played with confidence, stands a good chance to deceive. Mark Twain
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Love is not a product of reasonings and statistics. It just comes-none knows whence-and cannot explain itself. Mark Twain
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Some of the worst things in my life never even happened. Mark Twain
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Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size. Mark Twain
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At noon I observed a bevy of nude young native women bathing in the sea, and I went and sat down on there clothes to keep them from being stolen. Mark Twain
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To us, our house was not unsentient matter - it had a heart, and a soul, and eyes to see us with; and approvals and solicitudes and deep sympathies; it was of us, and we were in its confidence, and lived in its grace and in the peace of its benediction. Mark Twain
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I would like to live in Manchester, England. The transition between Manchester and death would be unnoticeable. Mark Twain
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Inherently, each one of us has the substance within to achieve whatever our goals and dreams define. What is different for each of us is the training, education, knowledge and insight to utilize what we already have. Mark Twain
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Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits. Fanatics will never learn that, though it be written in letters of gold across the sky. It is the prohibition that makes anything precious. Mark Twain
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Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others. Mark Twain
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There is no urge so great as for one man to edit another man's work. Mark Twain
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Most men die at 27, we just bury them at 72. Mark Twain
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Herschel removed the speckled tent-roof from the world and exposed the immeasurable deeps of space, dim-flecked with fleets of colossal suns sailing their billion-leagued remoteness. Mark Twain
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Ah, if he could only die temporarily! Mark Twain
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If Christians should vote their duty to God at the polls, they would carry every election, and do it with ease. They would elect every clean candidate in the United States, and defeat every soiled one. Their prodigious power would be quickly realized and recognized, and afterward there would be no unclean candidates upon any ticket, and graft would cease. Mark Twain
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Who knows, he may grow up to be President someday, unless they hang him first!" Aunt Polly about Tom Sawyer Mark Twain
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Missionarying was a better thing in those days than it is in ours. All you had to do was to cure the head savage's sick daughter by a miracle- a miracle like the miracle of Lourdes in our day, for instance- and immediately that head savage was your convert, and filled to the eyes with a new convert's enthusiasm. You could sit down and make yourself easy now. He would take the ax and convert the rest of the nation himself. Mark Twain
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I find that the further I go back, the better things were, whether they happened or not. Mark Twain
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Troubles are only mental; it is the mind that manufactures them, and the mind can gorge them, banish them, abolish them. Mark Twain
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There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled. Mark Twain
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Do not offer a compliment and ask a favor at the same time. A compliment that is charged for is not valuable. Mark Twain
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Ignorance, intolerance, egotism, self-assertion, opaque perception, dense and pitiful chuckle headedness - and an almost pathetic unconsciousness of it all, that is what I was at nineteen and twenty. Mark Twain
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I believe I have had the most trouble with a portrait which I painted in installments - the head on one canvas and the bust on another. Mark Twain
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Man was made at the end of the week's work when God was tired. Mark Twain
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The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities Mark Twain
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things. Mark Twain
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The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first. Mark Twain
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies. Broadly speaking, there are none but corn-pone opinions. And broadly speaking, Corn-Pone stands for Self-Approval. Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. The result is Conformity. Mark Twain
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The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise. Mark Twain
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail. Mark Twain
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If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it. Mark Twain
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Custom is petrification, nothing but dynamite can dislodge it for a century. Mark Twain
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We despise no source that can pay us a pleasing attention. Mark Twain
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Germany, the diseased world's bathhouse. Mark Twain
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Concentration of power in a political machine is bad; and an Established Church is only a political machine; it was invented for that; it is nursed, cradled, preserved for that; it is an enemy to human liberty, and does no good which it could not better do in a split-up and scattered condition. Mark Twain
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If you would beseech a blessing upon yourself, beware! lest without intent you invoke a curse upon a neighbor at the same time. Mark Twain
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Dying man couldn't make up his mind which place to go to-both have their advantages, heaven for the climate, hell for the company! Mark Twain
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The law of work does seem utterly unfair-but there it is, and nothing can change it: the higher the pay in enjoyment the worker gets out of it, the higher shall be his pay in cash, too. Mark Twain
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Fleas can be taught nearly anything a congressman can. Mark Twain
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Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live. To live a fulfilled life, we need to keep creating the "what is next", of our lives. Without dreams and goals there is no living, only merely existing, and that is not why we are here. Mark Twain
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I can teach anybody how to get, what they want out of life. The problem is that I can't find anybody who can tell me what they want. Once you are crystal clear about the intended end result that you seek to produce, all the ways that it can become a done deal start to reveal themselves to you. There are many who have accomplished exactly what you want to achieve and could show you the way. You are not ready to ask them because you are not clear and you have not determined which questions need answers. Mark Twain
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Temperate temperance is best; intemperate temperance injures the cause of temperance. Mark Twain
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There are German songs which can make a stranger to the language cry. Mark Twain
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It is often the case that a man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best judge of one. Mark Twain
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The kingly office is entitled to no respect. It was originally procured by the highwayman's methods. It remains a perpetuated crime, can never be anything but the symbol of a crime. It is no more entitled to respect than is the flag of a pirate. Mark Twain
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When I'm playful I use the meridians of longitude and parallels of latitude for a seine, and drag the Atlantic Ocean for whales. I scratch my head with the lightning and purr myself to sleep with the thunder. Mark Twain
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It is a good idea to obey all the rules when you're young just so you'll have the strength to break them when you're old. Mark Twain
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One learns peoples through the heart, not the eyes or the intellect. Mark Twain
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We should be careful to get out of an experience only the wisdom that is in it - and stop there. Mark Twain
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