Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


Authorship is not a trade, it is an inspiration; authorship does not keep an office, its habitation is all out under the sky, and everywhere the winds are blowing and the sun is shining and the creatures of God are free. Mark Twain
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I haven't a particle of confidence in a man who has no redeeming petty vices whatsoever. Mark Twain
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You thunder and lightning too much; the reader ceases to get under the bed, by and by. Mark Twain
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Who is this Renaissance? Where did he come from? Who gave him permission to cram the Republic with his execrable daubs? Mark Twain
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Those who say truth is stranger than fiction have wasted their time on poorly written fiction. Mark Twain
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There are three kinds of lies - lies, damned lies and statistics. Mark Twain
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Armor is heavy, yet it is a proud burden, and a man standeth straight in it. Mark Twain
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Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe. Mark Twain
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No one can tell me what is a good cigar-for me. I am the only judge... There are no standards-no real standards. Each man's preference is the only standard for him, the only one which he can accept, the only one which can command him. Mark Twain
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The ancients stole all our ideas from us. Mark Twain
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No one can write perfect English and keep it up through a stretch of ten chapters. It has never been done. Mark Twain
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Additional problems are the offspring of poor solutions. Mark Twain
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There comes a time in every rightly constructed boy's life when he has a raging desire to go somewhere and dig for hidden treasure. Mark Twain
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In other localities certain places in the streams are much better than others, but at Niagara one place is just as good as another, for the reason that the fish do not bite anywhere. Mark Twain
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Thanksgiving Day - Let all give humble, hearty, and sincere thanks, now, but the turkeys. In the island of Fiji they do not use turkeys, they use plumbers. It does not become you and me to sneer at Fiji. Mark Twain
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The moral of it is this: If you are of any account, stay at home and make your way by faithful diligence; but if you are 'no account,' go away from home, and then you will have to work, whether you want to or not. Thus you become a blessing to your friends by ceasing to be a nuisance to them-if the people you go among suffer by the operation. Mark Twain
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There is no such thing as a new idea. It is impossible. We simply take a lot of old ideas and put them into a sort of mental kaleidoscope. We give them a turn and they make new and curious combinations. We keep on turning and making new combinations indefinitely; but they are the same old pieces of colored glass that have been in use through all the ages. Mark Twain
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A few fly bites cannot stop a spirited horse. Mark Twain
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Training- training is everything; training is all there is to a person. We speak of nature; it is folly; there is no such thing as nature; what we call by that misleading name is merely heredity and training. We have no thoughts of our own, no opinions of our own; they are transmitted to us, trained into us. Mark Twain
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Would it not be prudent to get our civilization tools together, and see how much stock is left on hand in the way of Glass Beads and Theology, and Maxim Guns and Hymn Books, and Trade Gin and Torches of Progress and Enlightenment (patent adjustable ones, good to fire villages with, upon occasion), and balance the books, and arrive at the profit and loss, so that we may intelligently decide whether to continue the business or sellout the property and start a new Civilization Scheme on the proceeds. Mark Twain
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There is probably no pleasure equal to the pleasure of climbing a dangerous Alp; but it is a pleasure which is confined strictly to people who can find pleasure in it. Mark Twain
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Human beings can be awful cruel to one another. Mark Twain
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I cherish the dreams of yesterday and dare not dwell on the err's of my past whose fate has been long decided, and effect I can not change. For the dreams of yesterday are the challenges of today, and the hope for tomorrow. Mark Twain
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I hate to hear people say this Judge will vote so and so, because he is a Democrat - and this one so and so because he is a Republican. It is shameful. The Judges have the Constitution for their guidance; they have no right to any politics save the politics of rigid right and justice when they are sitting in judgment upon the great matters that come before them. Mark Twain
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Yes, always avoid violence. In this age of charity and kindliness, the time has gone by for such things. Leave dynamite to the low and unrefined. Mark Twain
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When you catch an adjective, kill it. No, I don't mean utterly, but kill most of them-then the rest will be valuable. They weaken when they are close together. They give strength when they are far apart. Mark Twain
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If it is a Miracle, any sort of evidence will answer, but if it is a Fact, proof is necessary Mark Twain
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I do not wish any reward but to know I have done the right thing. Mark Twain
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the more I know about people, the better I like my dogs. Mark Twain
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The difference between fiction and nonfiction is that fiction must be absolutely believable. Mark Twain
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There is no such thing as an ordinary life. Mark Twain
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Well enough for old folks to rise early, because they have done so many mean things all their lives they can't sleep anyhow. Mark Twain
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When a library expels a book of mine and leaves an unexpurgated Bible lying around where unprotected youth and age can get hold of it, the deep unconscious irony of it delights me and doesn't anger me. Mark Twain
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Etiquette requires us to admire the human race. Mark Twain
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The more I know people, the more I love my dog. Mark Twain
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Let us consider that we are all insane. It will explain us to each other. It will unriddle many riddles Mark Twain
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You don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly-Tom's Aunt Polly, she is-and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before. Mark Twain
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Figures don't lie, but liars figure. Mark Twain
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Sing like no one is listening, LOVE LIKE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN HURT, dance like nobody's watcbing, and live like it's heaven on earth. Mark Twain
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Never let the truth get in the way of a good story. Mark Twain
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We have a criminal jury system which is superior to any in the world and it's efficiency is only marred by the difficulty of finding twelve men every day who don't know anything and can't read- Mark Twain
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The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes. Mark Twain
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Tomorrow night I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics. Mark Twain
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I would have written a shorter letter, but I did not have the time. Mark Twain
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I'm glad I did it, partly because it was worth it, but mostly because I shall never have to do it again. Mark Twain
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Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it. Mark Twain
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Pity is for the living, envy is for the dead. Death, the refuge, the solace, the best and kindliest and most prized friend and benefactor of the erring, the forsaken, the old and weary and broken of heart. Mark Twain
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The perfection of wisdom, and the end of true philosophy is to proportion our wants to our possessions, our ambitions to our capacities, we will then be a happy and a virtuous people. Mark Twain
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Men are like bank accounts. The more money, the more interest they generate. Mark Twain
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The humorous writer professes to awaken and direct your love, your pity, your kindness-your scorn for untruth, pretension, imposture....He takes upon himself to be the week-day preacher. Mark Twain
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Humor must be one of the chief attributes of God. Plants and animals that are distinctly humorous in form and characteristics are God's jokes. Mark Twain
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All large political doctrines are rich in difficult problems - problems that are quite above the average citizen's reach. And that is not strange, since they are also above the reach of the ablest minds in the country; after all the fuss and all the talk, not one of those doctrines has been conclusively proven to be the right one and the best. Mark Twain
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I was an arden Hayes man, but that was natural, for I was pretty young at the time, I have since convinced myself that the political opinioins of a nation are of next to no value, in any case, but that what little rag of value they posess is to be found among the old, rather than among the young. Mark Twain
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I have a religion-but you will call it blasphemy. It is that there is a God for the rich man but none for the poor.....Perhaps your religion will sustain you,will feed you-I place no dependence in mine. Our religions are alike, though, in one respect-neither can make a man happy when he is out of luck. Mark Twain
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Truth is stranger than fiction-to some people, but I am measurably familiar with it. Mark Twain
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There have been innumerable Temporary Seekers after the Truth-have you ever heard of a permanent one? Mark Twain
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I asked Tom if countries always apologized when they had done wrong, and he says - "Yes; the little ones does". Mark Twain
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Seventy is old enough. After that there is too much risk. Mark Twain
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The most difficult We do not deal in facts when we are contemplating ourselves. Mark Twain
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We can secure other people's approval, if we do right and try hard; but our own is worth a hundred of it, and no way has been found out of securing that. Mark Twain
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One is apt to overestimate beauty when it is rare Mark Twain
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Advertisements contain the only truths to be relied on in a newspaper. Mark Twain
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There is no security in life, only opportunity. Mark Twain
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The statesmen will invent cheap lies, putting the blame upon the nation that is being attacked, and every man will be glad of these conscience-soothing falsities Mark Twain
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We take a natural interest in novelties, but it is against nature to take an interest in familiar things. Mark Twain
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The world doesn't owe you anything. It was here first. Mark Twain
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Hardly a man in the world has an opinion upon morals, politics or religion which he got otherwise than through his associations and sympathies. Broadly speaking, there are none but corn-pone opinions. And broadly speaking, Corn-Pone stands for Self-Approval. Self-approval is acquired mainly from the approval of other people. The result is Conformity. Mark Twain
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The proverb says, "Born lucky, always lucky," and I am very superstitious. As a small boy I was notoriously lucky. It was usual for one or two of our lads (per annum) to get drowned in the Mississippi or in Bear Creek, but I was pulled out in a 2/3 drowned condition 9 times before I learned to swim, and was considered to be a cat in disguise. Mark Twain
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It is strange the way the ignorant and inexperienced so often and so undeservedly succeed when the informed and the experienced fail. Mark Twain
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If you have no will to change it, you have no right to criticize it. Mark Twain
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