Mark Twain Quotes & Wallpapers

Mark Twain
Total Quotes: 2961


If to be interesting is to be uncommonplace, it is becoming a question, with me, if there are any commonplace people. Mark Twain
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Man is a museum of diseases, a home of impurities; he comes today and is gone tomorrow; he begins as dirt and departs as stench. Mark Twain
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My advice to women is: First, don't smoke - to excess; Second, don't drink - to excess; Third, don't marry - to excess. Mark Twain
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Nothing helps scenery like ham and eggs. Mark Twain
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Modesty antedates clothes and will be resumed when clothes are no more. Modesty died when clothes were born. Modesty died when false modesty was born. Mark Twain
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Pilgrim's Progress, about a man who left his family, it didn't say why. The statements was interesting, but tough. Mark Twain
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Rail-splitting produced an unparalleled president in Lincoln. But gold hasn't produced even a good A-1 congressman. Mark Twain
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The only way to stay healthy is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. Mark Twain
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There is a great deal of human nature in people. Mark Twain
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Tonight I appear for the first time before a Boston audience - 4000 critics. Mark Twain
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Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. Mark Twain
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We owe a deep debt of gratitude to Adam, the first great benefactor of the human race: he brought death into the world. Mark Twain
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When a man's dog turns against him it is time for a wife to pack her trunk and go home to mama. Mark Twain
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So I became a newspaperman. I hated to do it but I couldn't find honest employment. Mark Twain
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History may not repeat itself, but it does rhyme a lot. Mark Twain
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The way it is now, the asylums can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials. Mark Twain
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The old saw says - 'Let a sleeping dog lie.' Experience knows better; experience says, If you want to convince do it yourself. Mark Twain
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After my marriage she edited everything I wrote. And what is more, she not only edited my works, she edited me. Mark Twain
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You can have brilliant ideas, but if you can't get them across, your ideas won't get you anywhere. Lee Iacocca Love is the irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired. Mark Twain
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A powerful agent is the right word: it lights the reader's way and makes it plain. Mark Twain
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[N]o country can be well governed unless its citizens as a body keep religiously before their minds that they are the guardians of the law and that the law officers are only the machinery for its execution, nothing more. Mark Twain
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To avoid lying, do nothing that needs covering. Mark Twain
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Experience teaches us only one thing at a time - and hardly that, in my case. Mark Twain
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I do not see how astronomers can help feeling exquisitely insignificant, for every new page of the Book of the Heavens they open reveals to them more and more that the world we are so proud of is to the universe of careening globes as is one mosquito to the winged and hoofed flocks and herds that darken the air and populate the plains and forests of all the earth. If you killed the mosquito would it be missed? Verily, What is Man, that he should be considered of God? Mark Twain
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We like to read about rich people in the newspapers; the papers know it, and they do their best to keep this appetite liberally fed. Mark Twain
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One of my theories is that the hearts of men are about alike, no matter what their skin color. Mark Twain
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Half of the results of a good intentions are evil; half the results of an evil intention are good. Mark Twain
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Beautiful credit! The foundation of modern society. Mark Twain
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All religions issue bibles again Satan, and say the most injurious things against him, but we never hear his side. Mark Twain
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It is sound statesmanship to add two battleships every time our neighbour adds one and two stories to our skyscrapers every time he piles a new one on top of his to threaten our light. There is no limit to this soundness but the sky. Mark Twain
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Wherefore being all of one mind, we do highly resolve that government of the grafted by the grafter for the grafter shall not perish from the earth. Mark Twain
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I am able to say that while I am not ruggedly well, I am not ill enough to excite an undertaker. Mark Twain
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You ought never to sass old people- unless they sass you first. Mark Twain
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform. "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for certain that just ain't true." Thinking that you know the future. Mark Twain
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God rewards gamblers and fools. The crucial thing, when you win, is knowing which you were. Mark Twain
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Human beings are the only creatures who blush - or who need to. Mark Twain
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Definite speech means clarity of mind. Mark Twain
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In my schoolboy days I had no aversion to slavery. I was not aware there was anything wrong about it. No-one arraigned it in my hearing; the local papers said nothing against it; the local pulpit taught us that God approved it, that it was a holy thing, and that the doubter need only look in the Bible if he wished to settle his mind. Mark Twain
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God was left out of the Constitution but was furnished a front seat on the coins of the country. Mark Twain
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I am dead to adverbs; they cannot excite me. To misplace an adverb is a thing which I am able to do with frozen indifference; it can never give me a pang. There are subtleties which I cannot master at all - they confuse me, they mean absolutely nothing to me - and this adverb plague is one of them. Mark Twain
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I'm the only person who has ever found the right way to build an autobiography. Mark Twain
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Perfect grammar - persistent, continuous, sustained - is the fourth dimension, so to speak; many have sought it, but none has found it. Mark Twain
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We had an abundance of mangoes, papaias and bananas here, but the pride of the islands, the most delicious fruit known to men, cherimoya, was not in season. It has a soft pulp, like a pawpaw, and is eaten with a spoon. Mark Twain
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Hotels are the only proper places for lecturers. When I am ill-natured I so enjoy the freedom of a hotel where I can ring up a domestic and give him a quarter and then break furniture over him. Mark Twain
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Our opinions do not really blossom into fruition until we have expressed them to someone else. Mark Twain
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We catched fish, and talked, and we took a swim now and then to keep off sleepiness. It was kind of solemn, drifting down the big still river, laying on our backs looking up at the stars, and we didn't ever feel like talking loud, and it warn't often that we laughed, only a kind of low chuckle. We had mighty good weather, as a general thing, and nothing ever happened to us at all, that night, nor the next, nor the next. Mark Twain
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The writing begins when you've finished. Only then do you know what you're trying to say. Mark Twain
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I have been reading the morning paper. I do it every morning-knowing well that I shall find in it the usual depravities and basenesses and hypocrisies and cruelties that make up civilization, and cause me to put in the rest of the day pleading for the damnation of the human race. I cannot seem to get my prayers answered, yet I do not despair. Mark Twain
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There is no salvation for us but to adopt Civilization and lift ourselves down to its level. Mark Twain
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The peoples furthest from civilization are the ones where equality between man and woman are furthest apart-and we consider this one of the signs of savagery. Mark Twain
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Strip the human race, absolutely naked, and it would be a real democracy. But the introduction of even a rag of tiger skin, or a cowtail, could make a badge of distinction and be the beginning of a monarchy. Mark Twain
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The secret of making progress is to get started. Mark Twain
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Experience is an author's most valuable asset; experience is the thing that puts the muscle and the breath and the warm blood into the book he writes. Mark Twain
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Saturday morning was come, and all the summer world was bright and fresh, and brimming with life. There was a song in every heart; and if the heart was young, the music issued at the lips. There was cheer in every face and a spring in every step. The locust-trees were in bloom, and the fragrance of the blossoms filled the air. Cardiff Hill, beyond the village and above, it was green with vegetation, and it lay just far enough away to seem a Delectable Land, dreamy, reposeful, and inviting. Mark Twain
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His head was an hour-glass; it could stow an idea, but it had to do it a grain at a time, not the whole idea at once. Mark Twain
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One should never use exclamation points in writing. It is like laughing at your own joke. Mark Twain
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There is nothing training can't cannot do. Nothing is above its reach. Mark Twain
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But the elastic heart of youth cannot be compressed into one constrained shape long at a time. Mark Twain
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Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. Mark Twain
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It is better to be alone than unwelcome. - Eve Mark Twain
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I am only human, although I regret it. Mark Twain
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I have seen slower people than I am and more deliberate... and even quieter, and more listless, and lazier people than I am. But they were dead. Mark Twain
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Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. Mark Twain
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A great, great deal has been said about the weather, but very little has ever been done. Mark Twain
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Don't wait the time is never just right. Mark Twain
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Love heightens all senses - except the common. Mark Twain
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Just because you're taught that something's right and everyone believes it's right, it don't make it right. Mark Twain
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The more I learn about people, the more I like my dog. Mark Twain
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Let us draw the curtain of charity over the rest of this scene Mark Twain
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Behind every successful man, there is a woman - And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. Mark Twain
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