Josh Billings Quotes & Wallpapers

Josh Billings
Total Quotes: 458


There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory. Josh Billings
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There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together. Josh Billings
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Men mourn for what they have lost; women for what they ain't got. Josh Billings
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I think when the full horror of being fifty hits you, you should stay home and have a good cry. Josh Billings
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Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has. Josh Billings
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It is a very delicate job to forgive a man, without lowering him in his own estimation, and yours too. Josh Billings
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About the only difference between the poor and the rich, is this, the poor suffer misery, while the rich have to enjoy it. Josh Billings
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Prejudice assumes the garb of reason, but the cheat is too thin. Josh Billings
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If the world despises a hypocrite, what must they think of him in heaven? Josh Billings
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I never knew a man troubled with melancholy, who had plenty to do, and did it. Josh Billings
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The quickest way to take the starch out of someone who is always blaming himself is to agree with him. Josh Billings
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As the flint contains the spark, unknown to itself, which the steel alone can awaken to life, so adversity often reveals to us hidden gems, which prosperity or negligence would forever have hidden. Josh Billings
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It is not much trouble to doctor sick folks, but to doctor healthy ones is troublesome. Josh Billings
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Method is the arithmetic of success. Josh Billings
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Truth is the edict of God. Josh Billings
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Never work before breakfast; if you have to work before breakfast, eat your breakfast first. Josh Billings
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There are people who don't do anything but watch their symptoms. I have seen dogs act just as sensible, i have seen a rat terrier watch the symptoms of a knot hole, in a board fence, all day, for some rat to come out, but no rat didn't come out. Josh Billings
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Politeness is often wasted, but it is a good and cheap mistake to make. Josh Billings
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I rather admire the insolent civility of a bull-tarrier, who only growls when I pass by him, but I never did like it in a man. Josh Billings
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When I come across people who are perfectly crazy for ventilation, I say to myself, that critter was brought up in a windmill. Josh Billings
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Give everyone you meet, my boy, the time of day and half the road, and if that don't make him civil don't waste any more fragrance on the cuss. Josh Billings
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I never have any trouble in regulating my own conduct, but to keep other folks straight is what bothers me. Josh Billings
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When I see a poor, and proud aristocrat, particular about punctilio, he always puts me in mind of a drunken man, trying to walk a crack. Josh Billings
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Adam invented love at first sight, one of the greatest labor-saving machines the world ever saw. Josh Billings
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The greatest thief this world has ever produced is procrastination, and he is still at large. Josh Billings
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A slander is like a hornet; if you cannot kill it dead at the first blow, better not to strike at it. Josh Billings
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Debt is a trap which man sets and baits himself, and then deliberately gets into. Josh Billings
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Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well. Josh Billings
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A puppy plays with every pup he meets, but an old dog has few associates. Josh Billings
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Old maids sweeten their tea with scandal. Josh Billings
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Reason often makes mistakes, but conscience never does. Josh Billings
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Knowledge is like money: the more he gets, the more he craves. Josh Billings
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No one can disgrace us but ourselves. Josh Billings
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Music hath the charm to soothe a savage beast, but I'd try a revolver first. Josh Billings
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We hate those who will not take our advice, and despise them who do. Josh Billings
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Better make a weak man your enemy than your friend. Josh Billings
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The great art of writing is knowing when to stop. Josh Billings
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A good place to visit, but a poor place to stay. Josh Billings
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The miser and the glutton are two facetious buzzards: one hides his store, and the other stores his hide. Josh Billings
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Music wasn't made to make us wise, but better natured. Josh Billings
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The devil is the father of lies, but he neglected to patent the idea, and the business now suffers from competition. Josh Billings
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The man who has never been tempted doesn't know how dishonest he is. Josh Billings
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Men of genius are like eagles, they live on what they kill, while men of talents are like crows, they live on what has been killed for them. Josh Billings
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Good nonsense is good sense in disguise. Josh Billings
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The easiest thing for our friends to discover in us, and the hardest thing for us to discover in ourselves, is that we are growing old. Josh Billings
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Ignorance is the wet-nurse of prejudice. Josh Billings
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Selfish people, with no heart to speak of, have the best time of it. Josh Billings
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The very thing that men think they have got the most of, they have got the least of; and that is judgment. Josh Billings
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Prejudice is a house-plant which is very apt to wilt if you take it out-of-doors among folks. Josh Billings
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A witty writer is like a porcupine; his quill makes no distinction between friend and foe. Josh Billings
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The nearest we can come to) perfect happiness is to cheat ourselves with the belief that we have got it. Josh Billings
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Opinions should be formed with great caution, and changed with greater. Josh Billings
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If you do not know how to lie, cheat, and steal, turn your attention to politics and learn. Josh Billings
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The soul has more diseases than the body. Josh Billings
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If men were stubborn just in proportion as they were right, stubbornness would take her seat among the virtues; but men are generally stubborn just in proportion as they are ignorant and wrong. Josh Billings
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And now the lads and lasses, following the example of the birds, bill and coo together. Josh Billings
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The highest philosophers, in explaining the mystery of this world, are obliged to call in the aid of another. Josh Billings
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I honestly believe it is better to know nothing than to know what ain't so. Josh Billings
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A secret ceases to be a secret if it is once confided-it is like a dollar bill, once broken, it is never a dollar again. Josh Billings
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It is a darned sight easier to find six men who can tell exactly how a thing ought to be did than to find one who will do it. Josh Billings
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When a doctor looks me square in the face and can't see no money in me, then I am happy. Josh Billings
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Young man, don't grind your scythe all on one side! Josh Billings
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Rather than not have faith in anything, I am willing to be beat 9 times out of 10. Josh Billings
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Take all the prophecies that have come to pass, and all that have caught on the center, and failed to come to time, and make them up in an average, and yer will find, that buying stock, on the Codfish Bank of Newfoundland, at 50 per cent, for a rise, is, in comparison, a good speculative business. Josh Billings
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The best condition in life is to be not so rich as to be envied nor so poor as to be damned. Josh Billings
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The time to pray is not when we are in a tight spot but just as soon as we get out of it. Josh Billings
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It ain't because lovers are so sensitive that they quarrel so often; it is because there is so much fun n the making up. Josh Billings
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Health is like munny, we never have a true idea of its value until we lose it. Josh Billings
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It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant but we can't a fly. Josh Billings
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Most men would rather be charged with malice than with making a blunder. Josh Billings
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