Garrison Keillor Quotes & Wallpapers

Garrison Keillor
Total Quotes: 292


Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car. Garrison Keillor
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The mass of men lead lives of shallow happiness; the superior man exults in his gloom. Garrison Keillor
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Powdermilk biscuits: Heavens, theyre tasty and expeditious! Theyre made from whole wheat, to give shy persons the strength to get up and do what needs to be done Garrison Keillor
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It's a shallow life that doesn't give a person a few scars. Garrison Keillor
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. Garrison Keillor
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Be well, do good work, and keep in touch. Garrison Keillor
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Some of us have a relentless urge to attempt what we can never be good at and neglect our true calling. Garrison Keillor
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Growing up in a place that has winter, you learn to avoid self-pity. Winter is not a personal experience, everybody else is just as cold as you, so you shouldn't complain about it too much. You learn this as a kid, coming home crying from the cold, and Mother looks down and says, 'It's only a little frostbite. You're okay.' And thus you learn to be okay. What's done is done. Get over it. Drink your coffee. It's not the best you'll ever get but it's good enough. Garrison Keillor
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You don't want to get that sort of sound in your writing that boing that gives you away. Garrison Keillor
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We'd all be alot happier if we'd stop assuming we're supposed to be happy. Garrison Keillor
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The funniest line in English is "Get it?" When you say that, everyone chortles. Garrison Keillor
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What keeps faith cheerful is the extreme persistence of gentleness and humor. Gentleness is everywhere in daily life, a sign that faith rules through ordinary things: through cooking and small talk, through storytelling, making love, fishing, tending animals and sweet corn and flowers, through sports, music, and books, raising kids-all the places where the gravy soaks in and grace shines through. Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people. Lacking any other purpose in life, it would be good enough to live for their sake. Garrison Keillor
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I am a cheerful man, even in the dark, and it's all thanks to a good Lutheran mother. . . . Mother was well composed, a true Lutheran, and taught me to Cheer up, Make yourself useful, Mind your manners, and above all, Don't feel sorry for yourself. Garrison Keillor
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Ralph Stanley is like an uncle to us and now that all my uncles are gone, Ralph's singing is even more precious. This album of classic folk songs is one of his best. Garrison Keillor
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They say such nice things about people at their funerals that it makes me sad that I'm going to miss mine by just a few days. Garrison Keillor
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Nothing you do for children is ever wasted. They seem not to notice us, hovering, averting our eyes, and they seldom offer thanks, but what we do for them is never wasted. Garrison Keillor
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A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. Garrison Keillor
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A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever. Garrison Keillor
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I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.' Garrison Keillor
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I want to resume the life of a shy person. Garrison Keillor
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You're such a big liar you gotta get your neighbor to call your dog. Garrison Keillor
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When writing loses touch with the beautiful surface of the world, it loses its way. You always want to be in touch with how things look and what people say and what they call their dogs. Garrison Keillor
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Evelyn was an insomniac so when they say she died in her sleep, you have to question that. Garrison Keillor
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One reads books in order to gain the privilege of living more than one life. People who don't read are trapped in a mine shaft, even if they think the sun is shining. Garrison Keillor
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When in doubt, look intelligent. Garrison Keillor
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You now have learned enough to see That Cats are much like you and me And other people whom we find Possessed of various types of mind. For some are sane and some are mad And some are good and some are bad And some are better, some are worse ? But all may be described in verse. Garrison Keillor
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Humor, a good sense of it, is to Americans what manhood is to Spaniards and we will go to great lengths to prove it. Garrison Keillor
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People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them. Garrison Keillor
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Men peak at age nineteen and go downhill. Garrison Keillor
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It is a sin to believe evil of others but it is seldom a mistake. Garrison Keillor
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Life is unjust and this is what makes it so beautiful. Every day is a gift. Be brave and take hold of it. Garrison Keillor
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No matter what time of year I come here, people always say the same thing: Its not usually like this. Garrison Keillor
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Marrying for sex is like flying to London for the free peanuts and pretzels. It's not the point of the thing, is it? Garrison Keillor
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In the end, all solutions are temporary. Garrison Keillor
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This is a great country, and it wasn't made so by angry people. We have a sacred duty to bequeath it to our grandchildren in better shape than however we found it. We have a long way to go and we're not getting any younger. Dante said that the hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in time of crisis remain neutral, so I have spoken my piece, and thank you, dear reader. It's a beautiful world, rain or shine, and there is more to life than winning. Garrison Keillor
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To the cheater, there is no such thing as honesty, and to Republicans the idea of serving the public good is counterfeit on the face of it - they never felt such an urge, and therefore it must not exist. Garrison Keillor
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Librarians, Dusty, possess a vast store of politeness. These are people who get asked regularly the dumbest questions on God's green earth. These people tolerate every kind of crank and eccentric and mouth-breather there is. Garrison Keillor
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Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. Garrison Keillor
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You taught me to be nice, so nice that now I am so full of niceness, I have no sense of right and wrong, no outrage, no passion. Garrison Keillor
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You know, she said, there's a recipe for macaroni and cheese I've always been meaning to try. It's the one where you boil up about three pounds of macaroni, and then you grate cheese on it. It only takes about three minutes. Garrison Keillor
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I feel it's so hard for young actors; It's a different world that they're coming up in; there's so much money to be made off of their personal lives, and people are bound and determined to make that money. Garrison Keillor
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I was afraid you had deceased,' he said. 'Or gotten engrossed in a long book. Garrison Keillor
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The thought of people in this day and age sitting down to listen to a radio variety show on Saturday evening is rather implausible and was even more so in 1974 when we started "A Prairie Home Companion." Thank goodness Minnesota Public Radio was too poor to afford good advice or the show never would've got on the air. We only did it because we knew it would be fun to do. It was a dumb idea. I wish I knew how to be that dumb again. Garrison Keillor
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A romp in the hay lingers like the first line of a song, but your true love is the one you make a life with and write more than a line about, you write a whole book. Garrison Keillor
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That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary. Garrison Keillor
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You learn this great lesson of life: it's not about me. It's just not. The matter of talent-which seemed so important to you when you were young-is not of great importance. We're simply a conduit. We take things out of the air into us and put them in the form of stories. That's pretty much it. Garrison Keillor
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She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block. Garrison Keillor
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Vodka is tasteless going down, but it is memorable coming up. Garrison Keillor
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Jesus said the meek would inherit the earth, but so far all we've gotten is Minnesota and North Dakota. Garrison Keillor
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Second violins can play a concerto perfectly if they're in their own home and nobody's there. Garrison Keillor
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This is Democratic bedrock: we don't let people lie in the ditch and drive past and pretend not to see them dying. Here on the frozen tundra of Minnesota, if your neighbor's car won't start, you put on your parka and get the jumper cables out and deliver the Sacred Spark that starts their car. Everybody knows this. The logical extension of this spirit is social welfare and the myriad government programs with long dry names all very uninteresting to you until you suddenly need one... Garrison Keillor
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TV news is as bloody as Shakespeare but without the intelligence and the poetry. If you watch television news you know less about the world than if you drank gin out of a bottle Garrison Keillor
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Eating a little was like vomiting a little, just as bad as a lot. Garrison Keillor
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Being Lutheran, Mother believed that self-pity is a deadly sin and so is nostalgia, and she had no time for either Garrison Keillor
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A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together. Garrison Keillor
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I don't have a great eye for detail. I leave blanks in all of my stories. I leave out all detail, which leaves the reader to fill in something better. Garrison Keillor
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... and people are to march around the church to commemorate the event, Palm Sunday, when Jesus rode into Jerusalem and was greeted with applause and with palms. People thought he had come to overthrow the Romans, but ... no ... he had come to change THEM ... and that led to things turning bad. Garrison Keillor
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My generation was secretive, brooding, ambitious, show-offy, and this generation is congenial. Totally. I imagine them walking around with GPS chips that notify them when a friend is in the vicinity, and their GPSes guide them to each other in clipped electronic lady voices and they sit down side by side in a coffee shop and text-message each other while checking their e-mail and hopping and skipping around Facebook to see who has posted pictures of their weekend. Garrison Keillor
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I've seen the truth, and it makes no sense. Garrison Keillor
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The greatness of America is that it produces exuberant geniuses like Louis Armstrong and Fred Astaire and Leonard Bernstein. We are meant to be a jazzy people who talk big and jump on the table and dance; we aren't supposed to be dopey and glum and brood over old injuries. Garrison Keillor
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Winter: It's not just a season, it's who we are. Garrison Keillor
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I grew up in a fundamentalist protestant family that stressed that we were a select people and so we were to avoid contact with others who did not share our faith. Garrison Keillor
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Nothing that readers say or do strikes me as a nuisance. Anyone who cracks open a book of mine is, to me, a gem. Garrison Keillor
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Lake Wobegon, where smart doesn't count for so much. A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer. Garrison Keillor
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It's been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon, my home town, out on the edge of the prairie... Garrison Keillor
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Roy Blount's stuff makes me laugh so hard, sometimes I have to go sit in a room and shut the door Garrison Keillor
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A married guy is responsible for everything, no matter what. Women, thanks to their having been oppressed all these years, are blameless, free as birds, and all the dirt they do is the result of premenstrual syndrome or postmenstrual stress or menopause or emotional disempowerment by their fathers or low expectations by their teachers or latent unspoken sexual harassment in the workplace, or some other airy excuse. The guy alone is responsible for every day of marriage that is less than marvelous and meaningful. Garrison Keillor
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You don't have to justify a beautiful stroke of good luck. Accept it. Smile and say thank you. Garrison Keillor
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Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor Garrison Keillor
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Some people have a love of their fellow man in their hearts, and others require a light anesthetic. Garrison Keillor
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