Gabriel Iglesias Quotes & Wallpapers

Gabriel Iglesias
Total Quotes: 166

Drinking can bring out a dude that has some issues. Gabriel Iglesias

Comedy is my passion. I'm going to do this until I drop. Gabriel Iglesias

When you're a comedian, the Holy Grail is an hour long HBO special. Gabriel Iglesias

Drama is not my passion. If I do it, it's for a check. It's not what I want to do. Comedy's my thing. Stand up's my thing. Everything that comes from that is frosting on the cake. Gabriel Iglesias

I don't want to die tomorrow knowing I could've had a piece of cake tonight. Gabriel Iglesias

I have always been told that I was a funny, entertaining person and have always been told to give comedy a try. Gabriel Iglesias

My material never comes out verbatim every time. I always tweak in a line, or tweak away a line, gain a couple tags or lose a couple tags. The timing is always off. Gabriel Iglesias

If i wouldn't have done comedy, I would have been a teacher. I was really good when I took an exploratory teaching class in high school, at getting kids' attention, and delivering lesson plans. Though my principal even told me that this was what I was meant to do. And that being a big-mouth comedian was a waste of time. Gabriel Iglesias

I'm all about showing people that I'm a little messed up, I have a lot of the same problems you have. By exposing myself and putting myself out there, people can relate to me and my act won't grow stale. I mean, nobody wants to hear a comedian say, 'Life is great.' Gabriel Iglesias

You gotta live life before you can talk about it. Sometimes when things don't work out in life, they work out on stage. Gabriel Iglesias

I'm always very happy to talk to people. I relate to people, and the guy on stage is very much the guy that's off stage. People know when it's fake. Gabriel Iglesias

I just know you can not be on top forever. There's always going to be the next guy, and if I'm going to go down, I'd like to know I helped the next guy take my spot. You can't prevent the inevitable, but you can join the ship. Gabriel Iglesias

In the beginning, when I was doing my shows, I was incorporating a lot of Spanish, just trying to be a Latino comic instead of just a comic. Now I try to make the show as broad as possible... I don't want to alienate people. I want to make it so everybody can follow along and everybody can relate. Gabriel Iglesias

I want to get so famous that I don't have to wake up in the morning. It'll probably never happen. Gabriel Iglesias

Home in bed listening to the rain getting ready to order a pizza. Sounds like a song til the last part. Gabriel Iglesias

Life is measured by how you lived it, not by the years. Gabriel Iglesias

I had to travel half way across the world to be called an American. Gabriel Iglesias

Every night, it's a bakery on the bus. It's a curse, because I talk about how much I love cake, people bring me cake. And now I just found out I'm diabetic, so I'm like, are you kidding me?! Gabriel Iglesias

Anything is possible as long as you're focused, determined and you really want to do it. Gabriel Iglesias

I see a lot of nice hotels, but I never really get to enjoy the cities, because I have to be on a plane the next day. Gabriel Iglesias

I love Australia. First of all, everyone is so nice. The people are down to Earth, and they like having fun with you. Gabriel Iglesias

Comedians do movies and TV so that when they tour, they sell out. That's the goal: To get popular enough so the place is packed. Gabriel Iglesias

Social media has definitely changed the game for me. I am able to connect to my fans on twitter and interact with them, daily. YouTube has been a game changer as well - people around the world have been exposed to my comedy through my YouTube channel. Gabriel Iglesias

When you go to Hawaii, it's all about "Aloha." It means hello, goodbye and I love you. Gabriel Iglesias

TV show's really quick. You're in, you're out. A film usually takes a lot longer. However, a voiceover is very much like TV in the sense that it's really quick. For example, I did the movie Planes in one day. Gabriel Iglesias

I'm a big boy, but I can get jiggy with it. Ladies, I will go to dance clubs, and I will tear it up hardcore for a good 30 seconds. Gabriel Iglesias

Me racist? The only race I hate is the one you have to run. Gabriel Iglesias

You can't be bad ass in a car that kills gas like I kill tacos. Gabriel Iglesias

With all the classes they offer at school, how come they don't have one for common sense? Gabriel Iglesias

I know enough football to know that's funny! Gabriel Iglesias

When I first got to St. Louis, I saw the arch and I said, 'I want to go to that McDonalds. Gabriel Iglesias

That's one thing about my shows. I tell people, I'm not a comedian, I'm just a really funny reporter. I put my life out there and make it entertaining. By putting it out there, it helps me to deal with it, you know, so I don't snap and so I don't go off the handle when I get home. Gabriel Iglesias

People think if you have money, it'll fix the problems, but it creates different ones. Gabriel Iglesias

If you Google the word "fluffy," I'm the first thing that pops up. It's me, dogs and rabbits. Gabriel Iglesias

I was very dirty; I was a very dirty comic. There was no way I would have gotten on TV with the act I had when I first started. Gabriel Iglesias

I started riding the whole 'fluffy' train, and it's a cute word and socially a lot more acceptable than someone saying is fat or obese. If you call a girl 'fat,' yo, she'll raise hell, but if you say, 'Aw girl, look at you, you're fluffy,' there's almost a sexy appeal to it. Gabriel Iglesias

I found that laughter was a form of acceptance, and I really enjoyed that and I just - I crave it. Gabriel Iglesias

Connecting with people is not hard. I love the interaction and the feedback after shows. It does take some time, but the fans appreciate it which makes it worth it. Gabriel Iglesias

I know what it's like to have a family and not have insurance and really need it. As a comic, insurance was one of those sacrifices I made early on until I could afford it. Gabriel Iglesias

I almost bought a DeLorean the other day just because. If I see something that I think is cool and I like it, I'll go for it. Gabriel Iglesias

I want to be known as a funny comic not just a funny Latino comic. I want to be able to go everywhere and anywhere. Gabriel Iglesias

It's because you alienate half the room talking about sports. Half the crowd will be against you no matter what you say. Gabriel Iglesias

Kids, man, they're way too honest. They're like mini-alcoholics. Gabriel Iglesias

We can choose our family. We can't choose our relatives. Gabriel Iglesias

A lot of the comedians nowadays just do comedy as a stepping stone. Take for example Dane Cook. The guy is huge. The main reason he got into it is to do what he is doing now: film and television work. Gabriel Iglesias

If I'm drinking I can either be the nicest guy ever or I'm the guy you should leave alone. Gabriel Iglesias

Early on when I started talking about my weight, it was self-deprecating; everything was a joke. Gabriel Iglesias

I usually travel with a posse. I roll deep. I travel like a rapper, but without the artillery. We don't carry guns, we carry cookies. Gabriel Iglesias

Being on TV sucks. It's a lot of work. You memorize scripts and then you show up and they change everything. I'm a control freak. When I'm doing stand-up, I say what I want and then I get instant feedback. Gabriel Iglesias

When you leave, you basically want to go eat, because I talk a lot about food in my act. So when you leave, you leave hungry. Gabriel Iglesias

I go on the road all the time, but I'm only performing for two hours a night, and then I'll do a meet-and-greet, and then I'll get a bite to eat, get drunk, pass out, wake up the next day, sleeping the next day, sleeping off the hangover, and then I'm in the next city. Gabriel Iglesias

I drink diet coke so I can eat regular cake. Gabriel Iglesias

Honestly, you got to take care of the people that take care of you. I know that sounds like cliche, or borderline phony, but that's the case. The reason I've had the fans that I have is because I've been consistent over the years and kept coming back and doing the same runs. I'm never going to stop doing the cities I've gone through. I'm only going to add. Gabriel Iglesias

I got a brother who calls me Hollywood. Sisters kind of keep their distance. Even my mom is kind of like ahhh with me. Yeah dude, it really sucks. And I wish things were different. Unfortunately, they don't understand everything I go through on a day to day basis to be able to maintain what I'm doing. Gabriel Iglesias

My favorite people to have fun with are police officers 'cause they're so serious, you know. Gabriel Iglesias

I see a Latino comic as someone who can only perform for Latino audiences. I cross the board. Gabriel Iglesias

Finding places to perform was definitely the biggest challenge. Trying to find my voice over the years was a big thing because when I started I was just doing characters and impressions and that was it. Gabriel Iglesias

Honestly, I really don't like acting. I don't enjoy it. What I do like is going to a movie theatre and seeing my face on a poster. I like seeing my name on a poster. That is cool. Gabriel Iglesias

I learned early on, stay away from politics, stay away from religion and don't talk about sports. Those three right there will get you in trouble. Gabriel Iglesias

Believe it or not, I've got a really bad metabolism. One burger and I'm done. I'm not a guy that puts away 10 burgers. Gabriel Iglesias

As far as guys who perform onstage, I love Chris Rock. I'm kind of jaded on everyone else. Gabriel Iglesias

Stand-up is not just an American thing anymore. It's global. In some places, stand-up comedy is brand new. South Africa has only had a scene for 15 years. Gabriel Iglesias

You know, a lot of people think that just 'cause you work out, lift weights, eat right, and do what people tell you to do that you'll live a long live, maybe you will. But, why do people measure life by the years instead about how good the years were. Gabriel Iglesias

There's 5 levels of fatness! Fluffy is one of the levels. There's big, healthy, husky, fluffy and damn. Gabriel Iglesias

When I go to dance clubs, I always dance with big girls, so we finish at the same time. Gabriel Iglesias

When you have nothing but big friends, you never get into arguments - except one. And that is, who is the biggest? I'll let you know right now, there's only one way to settle this. We all get in a bus and we go to Disney and we get on a roller coaster - whoever gets the least amount of clicks on the safety bar is the big one. Gabriel Iglesias

For about three years I was performing at one bar in East Los Angeles that was like a mean dive bar. You're in there performing for drunks or bikers, not the most flattering people. I think it helped build my confidence, because you have to get their attention, then make them laugh. Gabriel Iglesias

Make sure you're doing impressions of people that are still relevant, and that everyone knows. Red Skelton impressions are a little outdated. Gabriel Iglesias

I have very nice cars. I never get to drive them, because I'm never home. Gabriel Iglesias

I wanted to be a comedian, and this is what I'm doing. If I can keep this going, I'm happy. Gabriel Iglesias

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