Erma Bombeck Quotes & Wallpapers

Erma Bombeck
Total Quotes: 362


Women are never what they seem to be. There is the woman you see and there is the woman who is hidden. Buy the gift for the woman who is hidden. Erma Bombeck
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Before we sent kids to computer camps and told them they were having a good time, there was imagination among the human species. Erma Bombeck
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You hear a lot of dialogue on the death of the American family. Families aren't dying. They're merging into big conglomerates. Erma Bombeck
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Last year I gave seventy-four phone hours to soliciting baked goods for the Bake-A-Rama. I was named Top Call Girl by the League. Erma Bombeck
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on. Erma Bombeck
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice. Erma Bombeck
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Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?' Erma Bombeck
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When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others. Erma Bombeck
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A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. Erma Bombeck
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad. Erma Bombeck
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