Erma Bombeck Quotes & Wallpapers

Erma Bombeck
Total Quotes: 362


Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. Erma Bombeck
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Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. Erma Bombeck
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A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife an electric skillet for her birthday. Erma Bombeck
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I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security and too tired for an affair. Erma Bombeck
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Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth. Erma Bombeck
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House guests should be regarded as perishables: Leave them out too long and they go bad. Erma Bombeck
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When you're an orthodox worrier, some days are worse than others. Erma Bombeck
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Grandmas can shed the yoke of responsibility, relax and enjoy their grandchildren in a way that was not possible when they were raising their own children. And they can glow in the realisation that here is their seed of life that will harvest generations to come. Erma Bombeck
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I have always felt that too much time was given before the birth, which is spent learning things like how to breathe in and out with your husband (I had my baby when they gave you a shot in the hip and you didn't wake up until the kid was ready to start school), and not enough time given to how to mother after the baby is born. Erma Bombeck
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Next to hot chicken soup, a tattoo of an anchor on your chest, and penicillin, I consider a honeymoon one of the most overrated events in the world. Erma Bombeck
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I see children as kites. You spend a lifetime trying to get them off the ground. You run with them until you're both breathless. They crash . . . you add a longer tail . . . you patch and comfort, adjust and teach. You watch them lifted by the wind and assure them that someday they'll fly. Erma Bombeck
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Most children's first words are 'Mama' or 'Daddy.' Mine were, 'Do I have to use my own money?' Erma Bombeck
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth. Erma Bombeck
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