Erma Bombeck Quotes & Wallpapers

Erma Bombeck
Total Quotes: 362


Making coffee has become the great compromise of the decade. It's the only thing "real" men do that doesn't seem to threaten their masculinity. To women, it's on the same domestic entry level as putting the spring back into the toilet-tissue holder or taking a chicken out of the freezer to thaw. Erma Bombeck
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My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance. Erma Bombeck
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Many people are intimidated by doctors. ... People also feel stupid when they don't understand what a doctor's talking about the first time around, so they don't ask again. And let's be honest here, people. English is not a doctor's first language. Erma Bombeck
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I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill. Erma Bombeck
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I lost everything in the post-natal depression. Erma Bombeck
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If the nest is truly empty, who owns all this junk? Erma Bombeck
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Encourage independence in your children by regularly losing them in the supermarket. Erma Bombeck
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Those magazine dieting stories always have the testimonial of a woman who wore a dress that could slipcover New Jersey in one photo and thirty days later looked like a well-dressed thermometer. Erma Bombeck
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A grandparent will help you with your buttons, your zippers, and your shoelaces and not be in any hurry for you to grow up. Erma Bombeck
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Have you any idea how many children it takes to turn off one light in the kitchen Three. It takes one to say What light and two more to say I didn't turn it on. Erma Bombeck
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It is ludicrous to read the microwave direction on the boxes of food you buy, as each one will have a disclaimer: THIS WILL VARY WITH YOUR MICROWAVE. Loosely translated, this means, You're on your own, Bernice. Erma Bombeck
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I'm going to stop punishing my children by saying, "Never mind! I'll do it myself. Erma Bombeck
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Never loan your car to anyone to whom you've given birth. Erma Bombeck
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