Ellen Degeneres Quotes & Wallpapers

Ellen Degeneres
Total Quotes: 402


Have you ever heard somebody sing some lyrics that you've never sung before, and you realize you've never sung the right words in that song? You hear them and all of a sudden you say to yourself, 'Life in the Fast Lane?' That's what they're saying right there? You think, 'why have I been singing 'wipe in the vaseline?' how many people have heard me sing 'wipe in the vaseline?' I am an idiot. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I don't want to get the same looks I give people when they get on a plane holding a baby: That's a cute baby, just keep walking, keep walking, keep going, keep going.... Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I don't know who had the bright idea of teaching pneumonia how to walk, but I'd like to find that dunderhead before he decides he wants to teach it how to drive. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I was in yoga the other day. I was in full lotus position. My chakras were all aligned. My mind is cleared of all clatter and I'm looking out of my third eye and everything that I'm supposed to be doing. It's amazing what comes up, when you sit in that silence. 'Mama keeps whites bright like the sunlight, Mama's got the magic of Clorox 2. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

They say you just stand over there, he'll say thank you and you walk back off and that's what I thought was gonna happen, but in my head, I had for five or six years known that he was gonna call me over. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

The good psychic would pick up the phone before it rang. Of course it is possible there was no one on the other line. Once she said God Bless you I said, I didn't sneeze She looked deep into my eyes and said, You will, eventually. And damn it if she wasn't right. Two days later I sneezed. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Have you seen the deer heads on the walls of bars, the ones wearing party hats, sunglasses and streamers? I feel sorry for them because obviously they were at a party having a good time... Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I don't need a baby growing inside me for nine months. If I'm going to feel nauseous and achy when I wake up, I want to achieve that state the old-fashioned way: getting good and drunk the night before. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Life is short. If you doubt me, ask a butterfly. Their average life span is a mere five to fourteen days. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I'd like to be more patient! I just want everything now. I've tried to meditate, but it's really hard for me to stay still. I'd like to try to force myself to do it, because everybody says how wonderful meditation is for you, but I can't shut my mind up. So patience and learning is the key. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

When we were growing up our parents somehow made it clear that being famous was good. And I mistakenly thought that if I was famous then everyone would love me. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

People love gossip. It's the biggest thing that keeps the entertainment industry going. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I just want to find somebody special, somebody that I click with. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I would love for the world to be happier. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I just feel like every kid is growing up too fast and they're seeing too much. Everything is about sex, and that's fine for me. I'm not saying I don't like it. But I don't think it should be everywhere, where kids are exposed to everything sexual. Because they have to have some innocence; there's just no innocence left. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I've been trying to find women writers for my staff for a while now and I have three women on my staff and three guys so it's pretty equal. I don't know why that is. It's been the same thing for a while. It's hard for female comedians to stand out. That's weird. That's a shame. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

While I was doing stand-up, I thought I knew for sure that success meant getting everyone to like me. So I became whoever I thought people wanted me to be. I'd say yes when I wanted to say no, and I even wore a few dresses. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I do like men and I had, you know, a guy in high school that I wanted to marry desperately. He's the mayor of some small town in Texas. I could be the mayor's wife right now. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

If you want to get rid of stuff, you can always do a good spring-cleaning. Or you can do what I do. Move. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

People are constantly asking Portia and me if we are going to have children. We thought about it. We love to be around children after they've been fed and bathed. But we ultimately decided that we don't want children of our own. There is far too much glass in our house. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Here are the values that I stand for: honesty, equality, kindness, compassion, treating people the way you want to be treated and helping those in need. To me, those are traditional values. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

We have two dogs, Mabel and Wolf, and three cats at home, Charlie, George and Chairman. We have two cats on our farm, Tom and Little Sister, two horses, and two mini horses, Hannah and Tricky. We also have two cows, Holy and Madonna. And those are only the animals we let sleep in our bed. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Sometimes you can't see yourself clearly until you see yourself through the eyes of others. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

In the beginning there was nothing. God said, 'Let there be light!' And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Golden eagles have an interesting way of mating, where they connect in the air while flying at eighty miles an hour and then they start dropping and they don't stop dropping until the act is completed. So it's not uncommon that they both fall all the way to the ground, hit the ground and both of them die. That's how committed they are to this. I thought to myself, 'Boy, don't we feel like wimps for stopping to answer the phone.' I don't know about you, but if I'm one of these two birds, you're getting close to the ground... I would serioulsy consider fakin' it. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I don't think I remember my first memory. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

This is my real secret to being a joyful person: I make my life easy. I spend more time being grateful for what I have instead of focusing on what isn't working. I no longer believe that people have to do things my way and that I have to be perfect. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

When the message out there is so horrible that, to be gay, you can get killed for it... we need to change the message!! Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

It always helps to think about other people instead of ourselves. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Quick decision makers are often stuck behind annoying people in line at Starbucks. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Some people believe that to find happiness, you should live each day of your life as if it's your last because that way you will appreciate every single moment you have. Other people believe that you should live each day as if it's your first because then every day can be the beginning of a new journey. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I think beauty comes from actually knowing who you are. That's real beauty to me. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

...we should be grateful for them because without our family-the ancestors we descend from, the cousins we see once a year, the loves our lives we see every day-life is pretty boring. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I care passionately about equal rights [and] animal rights. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

So, I bought a new CD and I was trying to get it open but couldn't with all the layers... I mean plastic and then tape, and the tape is like government tape. It says 'open here.' Is that sarcasm? Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

There's lotion for your face, for your hands, for your feet, for your body. Why? What would happen if you put hand lotion on your feet? Would your feet get confused and start clapping? Each kind has something special in it - aloe, shea butter, coconut, cocoa butter, vanilla, lemon extract. That's not lotion. That's one ingredient short of a Bundt cake. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

My cat, Ethel, is an indoor cat but somehow she's sneakin' out at night. 'Cause the other morning I found a stamp on her paw... I wouldn't have noticed myself, but I just bought this new black light and she passed right under it and I said, 'Hey, what's that on you paw? Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Then you have these people in the movie theaters that talk the whole time during the movie. You ever go with somebody like that to a movie but you don't realize until you get there that you're with somebody like that? Brand new movie. First day it's open. You're there together and the entire time they're sitting there: Where's she going? Why'd he do that? Is he mad at her? I don't know, let's watch and find out together shall we? You know who you are. You're denying it right now: I do not do that. Why is she saying that?. What's she gonna say next? Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I like sitting at outdoor restaurants; it would be nice to go someplace on the street and not worry about somebody taking my picture while I'm about to take a bite of something. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

So excited for the Apple Watch. For centuries, we've checked the time by looking at our phones. Having it on your wrist? Genius. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I think gender plays a part in most things, but I don't know how it would be different because I've never been a man. And my fame is different from Nicole Kidman's or Sharon Stone's. I think everybody's fame is different. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when you see them wearing dark glasses, having streamers around their necks and a hat on their antlers. Because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

A circus! 100 clowns of injustice have climbed out of the tiny clown car of this court room. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me! I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry! Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I always like using different muscles, you can take that however you want. But doing something once a year is fantastic, I highly recommended it if you can do it. It's a wonderful thing, it's very freeing and I can put a lot of energy and attention onto it and it's something I love doing. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Really, he called me that? Ellen DeGenerate? I've been getting that since fourth grade. I guess I'm happy I could give him work. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I'm a - I'm a, um, a godmother which is just, that's fun to be a godmother, she is so precious, she's the light of my life, she's two... or five or something, and she's, uh... I don't know, I've never seen her - the pictures are precious, she just seems so, y'know... She lives clear across town, I don't have that kind of time, but, um... Well, I send money and stuff, it's not like I don't have a connection. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I have the worst memory ever so no matter who comes up to me - they're just, like, 'I can't believe you don't remember me!" I'm like, 'Oh Dad I'm sorry! Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Honestly, I would eat cardboard rather than go back to eating animals. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Dan: 'Ah, well, I hope this didn't have anything to do with me.' Ellen: 'No, not unless you played Cat Woman in Batman. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Some of the most devastating things that happen to you will teach you the most Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Penguins mate for life. Which doesn't really surprise me, because they all look exactly alike. It's not like they're gonna meet a better-looking penguin someday. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

When life gives you lemons....they could really be oranges. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Catch-and-release, that's like running down pedestrians in your car and then, when they get up and limp away, saying - 'Off you go! That's fine. I just wanted to see if I could hit you.' Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Portia and I have been married for 4 years and they have been the happiest of my life. And in those 4 years, I don't think we hurt anyone else's marriage. I asked all of my neighbors and they say they're fine Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Procrastination isn't the problem. It's the solution. It's the universe's way of saying stop, slow down, you move too fast. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. Its been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch TV. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Our attention span is shot. We've all got Attention Deficit Disorder or ADD or OCD or one of these disorders with three letters because we don't have the time or patience to pronounce the entire disorder. That should be a disorder right there, TBD - Too Busy Disorder. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Take a nap in a fireplace and you'll sleep like a log. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

But seriously, I think overall in the scheme of things winning an Emmy is not important. Let's get our priorities straight. I think we all know what's really important in life - winning an Oscar. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I have a great career, and I have wonderful fans who really are supportive and loyal - because I'm not hiding anything from them. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Right before I decided to come out, I went on a spiritual retreat called 'Changing the Inner Dialogue of Your Subconscious Mind.' I'd never been to anything like it before, and all my friends were taking bets on how long I'd last with no TV, no radio, no phone. But for me that was the beginning of paying attention to all the little things. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

When people show me clothing that seems very, very feminine, it's hard for me to embrace that, because it just doesn't feel like me. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I'm probably the most honest person you'll ever meet - to a fault, like, I-will-hurt-your-feelings honest. I'm sure if I lied about anything, it would have been silly, but I haven't retained that information. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

I'm a comedian, and I definitely see the humor in a lot of things. I am also sad a lot. I cry often and easily. I think you're supposed to feel all kinds of things. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

Find out who you are and be that person. That's what your soul was put on this Earth to be. Find that truth, live that truth and everything else will come. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:

People always ask me, 'Were you funny as a child?' Well, no, I was an accountant. Ellen Degeneres
Download Wallpaper:



<< PREVIOUS PAGE Page 3 of 6 | NEXT PAGE >
1   2   3   4   5   6  


RELATED TOPICS

Ellen DeGeneres Quotes, Impulse Ellen Hopkins, Crank by Ellen Hopkins Quotes, Impulse by Ellen Hopkins Quotes, Quotes From Ellen Hopkins Impulse, Ellen Glasgow Quotes, Ellen White Quotes, Ellen Foster Quotes About Family, Ellen G White Inspirational Quotes,