Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


Ghastly," continued Marvin, "it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it. Look at this door," he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut in to his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. " 'All the doors in his spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.' " As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sighlike quality to it. "Hummmmmmmyummmmmmmah!" it said. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Arthur Dent: What happens if I press this button? Ford Prefect: I wouldn't- Arthur Dent: Oh. Ford Prefect: What happened? Arthur Dent: A sign lit up, saying 'Please do not press this button again. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I'd far rather be happy than right any day. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

One day old Thrashbarg said that Almighty Bob had declared that he, Thrashbarg, was to have first pick of the sandwiches. The villagers asked him when this had happened, exactly, and Thrashbarg said it had happened yesterday, when they weren't looking. 'Have faith,' Old Thrashbarg said, 'or burn!' They let him have first pick of the sandwiches. It seemed easiest. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

So long, and thanks for all the fish. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

A hole had just appeared in the Galaxy. It was exactly a nothingth of a second long, a nothingth of an inch wide, and quite a lot of million light years from end to end. As it closed up [...] Two hundred and thirty-nine thousand lightly fried eggs fell out of it...materializing in a large woobly heap on the famine-struck land of Poghril in the Pansel system. The whole Poghril tribe had died out from famine except for one last man who died of cholesterol poisoning some weeks later. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer... Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

ABOYNE (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly bad that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

LAXOBIGGING (ptcpl.vb.) Struggling to extrude an extremely large turd. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Or maybe she decided that an evening with your old tutor would be blisteringly dull and opted for the more exhilarating course of washing her hair instead. Dear me, I know what I would have done. It's only lack of hair that forces me to pursue such a hectic social round these days. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

It was his subconscious which told him this - that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

It'd be like a bunch of rivers, the Amazon and the Mississippi and the Congo asking how the Atlantic Ocean might affect them... and the answer is, of course, that they won't be rivers anymore, just currents in the ocean. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

It is no coincidence that in no known language does the phrase 'As pretty as an Airport' appear. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

There is a theory that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable. There is another theory that states: This has already happened. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I tend not to read or watch Science Fiction, particularly not comedy Science Fiction. The point is that if it's less good than what I do, there's no point in reading it, if it's better than what I do it makes me depressed Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The Hitch Hiker's Guide has not been an opera. It has however been a tapestry, if you count a woven bath towel as a tapestry. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

One nonabsolute number is the given time of arrival, which is now known to be one of the most bizarre of mathematical concepts, a number whose existence can only be defined as being anything other than itself. In other words, the given time of arrival is the one moment of time at which it is impossible that any member of the party will arrive. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she did' care. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The simple truth is that interstellar distances will not fit into the human imagination. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Every country is like a particular type of person. America is like a belligerent, adolescent boy, Canada is like an intelligent, 35 year old woman. Australia is like Jack Nicholson. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Religion ... has certain ideas at the heart of it which we call sacred or holy or whatever. What it means is, 'Here is an idea or a notion that you're not allowed to say anything bad about; you're just not. Why not? Because you're just not. If someone votes for a party that you don't agree with, you're free to argue about it as much as you like; everybody will have an argument but nobody feels aggrieved by it. ... But on the other hand, if somebody says 'I mustn't move a light switch on a Saturday', you say 'I respect that'. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I don't really have any advice, other than to say it's the most appallingly difficult thing I've ever tried to do and I wish I had a better idea of how to do it. In my experience what you end up with is the by-product of your failure to achieve what you set out to do. It may turn out OK, but it wasn't what you meant and you've no idea how you got there. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

So, the world is fine. We do' have to save the world-the world is big enough to look after itself. What we have to be concerned about, is whether or not the world we live in, will be capable of sustaining us in it. That's what we need to think about. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

For as long as he could remember, he"d suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The idea that Bill Gates has appeared like a knight in shining armor to lead all customers out of a mire of technological chaos neatly ignores the fact that it was he who, by peddling second- rate technology, led them into it in the first place. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

What is the point? We assume that every time we do anything we know what the consequences will be, i.e., more or less what we intend them to be. This is not only not always correct. It is wildly, crazily, stupidly, cross-eyed-blithering-insectly wrong! Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Well, I mean, yes idealism, yes the dignity of pure research, yes the pursuit of truth in all its forms, but there comes a point I'm afraid where you begin to suspect that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. And if it comes to a choice between spending yet another ten million years finding that out, and on the other hand just taking the money and running, then I for one could do with the exercise. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The Presidents job, is not to wield power himself, but to lead attention away from it. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Imagine" he said, "never even thinking, 'We are alone,' simply because it has never occurred to you to think that there's any other way to be. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

In an infinite Universe anything can happen. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now. ... What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind, it's only four light years away, you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Mr L Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though he didn't know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan, though intervening generations and racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only vestiges left in Mr L Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

What's up?" [asked Ford.] I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite". Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, "wow, that's big", time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

It's reassuring to realize that everybody is as stupid as you are and that all we are doing when we are standing in the kitchen wondering what we came in here for is "woking. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

One of the problems, and it's one which is obviously going to get worse, is that all the people at the party are either the children or the grandchildren or the great-grandchildren of the people who wouldn't leave in the first place, and because of all the business about selective breeding and regressive genes and so on, it means that all the people now at the party are either absolutely fanatical partygoers, or gibbering idiots, or, more and more frequently, both. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Who is this god person anyway? Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

For seven and a half million years, Deep Thought computed and calculated, and in the end announced that the answer was in fact Forty-two - and so another, even bigger, computer had to be built to find out what the actual question was... Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The Hollywood process is like trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people coming into the room and breathing on it. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

I am rarely happier than when spending entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that it would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works-you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Obviously somebody had been appallingly incompetent and he hoped to God it wasn't him. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil. Isn't that true? Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

Only by counting could humans demonstrate their independence of computers. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

The Somebody Else's Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people's natural disposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lot of their time in behavioural research laboratories running around inside wheels and conduction frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted this relationship was entirely according to these creatures' plans. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:

So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?' I asked. He looked at me as if I were stupid. 'You die, of course. That's what deadly means. Douglas Adams
Download Wallpaper:



<< PREVIOUS PAGE Page 9 of 10 | NEXT PAGE >
1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9   10  


RELATED TOPICS

Douglas Adams Quotes, Frederick Douglas Quotes, Abigail Adams Quotes, Ansel Adams Quotes, John Adams Quotes, Patch Adams Quotes, Rhetoric Adams Quotes, Samuel Adams Quotes, Inspirational Gymnastics Quotes Gabby Douglas, Congress John Adams Quote, Government John Adams Quotes,