Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


In fact, a very similar phrase was invented to account for the sudden transition of wood, metal, plastic and concrete into an explosive condition, which was "nonlinear, catastrophic structural exasperation," or to put it another way-as a junior cabinet minister did on television the following night in a phrase which was to haunt the rest of his career-the check-in desk had just got "fundamentally fed up with being where it was. Douglas Adams
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Space is unimaginably big. Douglas Adams
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The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That's cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat. Douglas Adams
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They would' even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. Douglas Adams
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CLIXBY (adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative. Douglas Adams
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Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. Douglas Adams
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WFT-II was the only British software company that could be mentioned in the same sentence as such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus. The sentence would probably run along the lines of WFT-II, unlike such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus... but it was a start. Douglas Adams
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Thor was the God of Thunder and, frankly, acted like it. Douglas Adams
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If we think that the world is here for us we will continue to destroy it the way we have been destroying it, because we think we can do no harm. Douglas Adams
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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. Douglas Adams
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How do I know the past is not a fiction conceived to reconcile the difference between my state of mind and the present. Douglas Adams
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I didn't notice I was being set upon by a pickpocket, which I am glad of, because I like to work only with professionals. Douglas Adams
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I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken. Douglas Adams
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Who should play the lead role in a film about me? Dunno. Danny De Vito? Jeff Goldblum? Meryl Streep? Someone of that kind. Douglas Adams
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'Totally mad,' he said, 'utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.' Douglas Adams
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The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making. Douglas Adams
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I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is. Douglas Adams
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There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world. Douglas Adams
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The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. Douglas Adams
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In the stillness, a fly would not have dared clear it's throat. Douglas Adams
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From another direction he felt the sensation of being a sheep startled by a flying saucer, but it was virtually indistinguishable from the feeling of being a sheep startled by anything else it ever encountered, for they were creatures who learned very little on their journey through life, and would be startled to see the sun rising in the morning, and astonished by all the green stuff in the fields. Douglas Adams
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The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up. Douglas Adams
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The Saab seethed off into the night. Arthur watched it go, as stunned as a man might be who, having believed himself to be totally blind for five years, suddenly discovers that he had merely been wearing too large a hat. Douglas Adams
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The Encyclopedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to Be With. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing devision of the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, Douglas Adams
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Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother. Douglas Adams
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The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing. Douglas Adams
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Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh. Douglas Adams
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I watched the gorilla's eyes again, wise and knowing eyes, and wondered about this business of trying to teach apes language. Our language. Why? There are many members of our own species who live in and with the forest and know it and understand it. We don't listen to them. What is there to suggest we would listen to anything an ape could tell us? Or that it would be able to tell us of its life in a language that hasn't been born of that life? I thought, maybe it is not that they have yet to gain a language, it is that we have lost one. Douglas Adams
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All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place. Douglas Adams
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Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn't work properly yet Douglas Adams
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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. Douglas Adams
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This is the story of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, perhaps the most remarkable, certainly the most successful book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor.... It has the words 'don't panic' inscribed in large, friendly letters on the cover. Douglas Adams
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The car shot forward straight into the circle of light, and suddenly Arthur had a fairly clear idea of what infinity looked like. It was' infinity in fact. Infinity itself looks flat and uninteresting. Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity-distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. The chamber into which the aircar emerged was anything but infinite, it was just very very very big, so big that it gave the impression of infinity far better than infinity itself. Douglas Adams
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and we"ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere ... and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. Douglas Adams
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But the plans were on display..." "On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." "With a flashlight." "Ah, well, the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But look, you found the notice, did' you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard. Douglas Adams
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Immortals are what you wanted, said Thor in a low, quiet voice. Immortals are what you got. Douglas Adams
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Anything that happens, happens. Douglas Adams
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Anything invented before your fifteenth birthday is the order of nature. That's how it should be. Anything invented between your th and th birthday is new and exciting, and you might get a career there. Anything invented after that day, however, is against nature and should be prohibited. Douglas Adams
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For millions of years, on average, one species became extinct every century.... We are now heaving more than a thousand different species of animals and plants off the planet every year. Douglas Adams
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He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each. Douglas Adams
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So long, and thanks for all the fish. Douglas Adams
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Well, I mean, yes idealism, yes the dignity of pure research, yes the pursuit of truth in all its forms, but there comes a point I'm afraid where you begin to suspect that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. And if it comes to a choice between spending yet another ten million years finding that out, and on the other hand just taking the money and running, then I for one could do with the exercise. Douglas Adams
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It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. Douglas Adams
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All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others. Douglas Adams
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Arthur Dent: What happens if I press this button? Ford Prefect: I wouldn't- Arthur Dent: Oh. Ford Prefect: What happened? Arthur Dent: A sign lit up, saying 'Please do not press this button again. Douglas Adams
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I'd far rather be happy than right any day. Douglas Adams
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One day old Thrashbarg said that Almighty Bob had declared that he, Thrashbarg, was to have first pick of the sandwiches. The villagers asked him when this had happened, exactly, and Thrashbarg said it had happened yesterday, when they weren't looking. 'Have faith,' Old Thrashbarg said, 'or burn!' They let him have first pick of the sandwiches. It seemed easiest. Douglas Adams
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Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet. Douglas Adams
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Lovers of print are simply confusing the plate for the food. Douglas Adams
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Will you stop counting!' snarled Zaphod. 'Yes,' said Ford Prefect, 'in three minutes and thirty-five seconds. Douglas Adams
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Very deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you. Douglas Adams
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SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom Douglas Adams
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Solutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there's no point trying to look in that direction because it won't be coming from there. Douglas Adams
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Any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still know where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with. Douglas Adams
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The system of life on this planet is so astoundingly complex that it was a long time before man even realized that it was a system at all and that it wasn't something that was just there. Douglas Adams
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The moment at which two people, approaching from opposite ends of a long passageway, recognize each other and immediately pretend they haven t. This is to avoid the ghastly embarrassment of having to continue recognizing each other the whole length of the corridor. Douglas Adams
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Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. Douglas Adams
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Fiordland, a vast tract of mountainous terrain that occupies the south-west corner of South Island, New Zealand, is one of the most astounding pieces of land anywhere on God's earth, and one's first impulse, standing on a cliff top surveying it all, is simply to burst into spontaneous applause. Douglas Adams
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Oh dear,' says God, 'I hadn't thought of that,' and promptly vanishes in a puff of logic. Douglas Adams
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The first ten million years were the worst," said Marvin, "and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline. Douglas Adams
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I am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer... Douglas Adams
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That was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds earlier, but this was now the final real ulimate it. Douglas Adams
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Ghastly," continued Marvin, "it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it. Look at this door," he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut in to his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. " 'All the doors in his spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.' " As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sighlike quality to it. "Hummmmmmmyummmmmmmah!" it said. Douglas Adams
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To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Douglas Adams
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It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too. Douglas Adams
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For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. Douglas Adams
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. Douglas Adams
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What is the point? We assume that every time we do anything we know what the consequences will be, i.e., more or less what we intend them to be. This is not only not always correct. It is wildly, crazily, stupidly, cross-eyed-blithering-insectly wrong! Douglas Adams
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