Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation. Douglas Adams
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He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams
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The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That's cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat. Douglas Adams
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CLIXBY (adj.) Politely rude. Briskly vague. Firmly uninformative. Douglas Adams
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Let us think the unthinkable, let us do the undoable, let us prepare to grapple with the ineffable itself, and see if we may not eff it after all. Douglas Adams
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WFT-II was the only British software company that could be mentioned in the same sentence as such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus. The sentence would probably run along the lines of WFT-II, unlike such major U.S. companies as Microsoft or Lotus... but it was a start. Douglas Adams
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Thor was the God of Thunder and, frankly, acted like it. Douglas Adams
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If we think that the world is here for us we will continue to destroy it the way we have been destroying it, because we think we can do no harm. Douglas Adams
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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by. Douglas Adams
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This is the story of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, perhaps the most remarkable, certainly the most successful book ever to come out of the great publishing corporations of Ursa Minor.... It has the words 'don't panic' inscribed in large, friendly letters on the cover. Douglas Adams
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Immortals are what you wanted, said Thor in a low, quiet voice. Immortals are what you got. Douglas Adams
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The car shot forward straight into the circle of light, and suddenly Arthur had a fairly clear idea of what infinity looked like. It was' infinity in fact. Infinity itself looks flat and uninteresting. Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity-distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. The chamber into which the aircar emerged was anything but infinite, it was just very very very big, so big that it gave the impression of infinity far better than infinity itself. Douglas Adams
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and we"ll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere ... and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. Douglas Adams
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But the plans were on display..." "On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." "With a flashlight." "Ah, well, the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But look, you found the notice, did' you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard. Douglas Adams
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They would' even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. Douglas Adams
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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. Douglas Adams
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I didn't notice I was being set upon by a pickpocket, which I am glad of, because I like to work only with professionals. Douglas Adams
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I wanted to be John Cleese. It took me some time to realise that the job was taken. Douglas Adams
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Who should play the lead role in a film about me? Dunno. Danny De Vito? Jeff Goldblum? Meryl Streep? Someone of that kind. Douglas Adams
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How do I know the past is not a fiction conceived to reconcile the difference between my state of mind and the present. Douglas Adams
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Space is unimaginably big. Douglas Adams
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There's nothing worse than sitting down to write a novel and saying, "Well, okay, I'm going to do something of high artistic worth." It's funny. Douglas Adams
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It's good to leave your room super-messy when you're away. Whoever tries to break into your room will thought it has already been ransacked. Douglas Adams
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These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vastly hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. Douglas Adams
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He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left. Douglas Adams
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Put away your worries, the world is a good and perfect place. It is in fact very easy. Douglas Adams
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He didn't know why he had become president of the galaxy, except that it seemed a fun thing to be. Douglas Adams
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In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot. Douglas Adams
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Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things Douglas Adams
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Time doesn't necessarily happen in chronological order. Douglas Adams
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The Encyclopedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to Be With. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing devision of the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, Douglas Adams
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'Totally mad,' he said, 'utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.' Douglas Adams
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The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making. Douglas Adams
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I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is. Douglas Adams
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There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world. Douglas Adams
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Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn't work properly yet Douglas Adams
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Anything that happens, happens. Douglas Adams
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Anything invented before your fifteenth birthday is the order of nature. That's how it should be. Anything invented between your th and th birthday is new and exciting, and you might get a career there. Anything invented after that day, however, is against nature and should be prohibited. Douglas Adams
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It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. Douglas Adams
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All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others. Douglas Adams
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Arthur Dent: What happens if I press this button? Ford Prefect: I wouldn't- Arthur Dent: Oh. Ford Prefect: What happened? Arthur Dent: A sign lit up, saying 'Please do not press this button again. Douglas Adams
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We'll meet the meat. Douglas Adams
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The Heart of Gold fled on silently through the night of space, now on conventional photon drive. Its crew of four were ill as ease knowing that they had been brought together not of their own volition or by simple coincidence, but by some curious perversion of physics- as if relationships between people were susceptible to the same laws that governed the relationships between atoms and molecules Douglas Adams
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Zaphod did not want to tangle with them and, deciding that just as discretion is the better part of valor, so was cowardice is the better part of discretion, he valiantly hid himself in a closet. Douglas Adams
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Dirk was, for one of the few times in a life of exuberantly prolific loquacity, wordless. Douglas Adams
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Funny, how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does. Douglas Adams
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After a while he played with the pencil and the paper again and was delighted when he discovered how to make a mark with the one on the other. Various noises continued outside, but he didn't know whether they were real or not. He then talked to his table for a week to see how it would react. Douglas Adams
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That was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds earlier, but this was now the final real ulimate it. Douglas Adams
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Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast. Douglas Adams
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A hole had just appeared in the Galaxy. It was exactly a nothingth of a second long, a nothingth of an inch wide, and quite a lot of million light years from end to end. As it closed up [...] Two hundred and thirty-nine thousand lightly fried eggs fell out of it...materializing in a large woobly heap on the famine-struck land of Poghril in the Pansel system. The whole Poghril tribe had died out from famine except for one last man who died of cholesterol poisoning some weeks later. Douglas Adams
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SHOEBURYNESS (abs.n.) The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom Douglas Adams
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Could be. I'm a pretty dangerous dude when I'm cornered." "Yeah," said the voice from under the table, "you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel. Douglas Adams
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Our favourite item was the balcony that overlooked the sea because it had an awning that you lowered by pressing an electric switch. The switch had two settings. You could either turn it to AUTO, in which case the awning lowered itself whenever the sun came out, or you could set it to MANUEL [sic], in which case, we assumed, a small, incompetent Spanish waiter came and did it for you. Douglas Adams
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He picked up the letter Q and hurled it into a distant privet bush where it hit a young rabbit. The rabbit hurtled off in terror and didn't stop till it was set upon and eaten by a fox which choked on one of its bones and died on the bank of a stream which subsequently washed it away. During the following weeks Ford Perfect swallowed his pride and struck up a relationship with a girl who had been a personnel officer on Golgafrincham, and he was terribly upset when she suddenly passed away as a result of drinking water from a pool that had been polluted by the body of a dead fox. Douglas Adams
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When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch. Douglas Adams
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For millions of years, on average, one species became extinct every century.... We are now heaving more than a thousand different species of animals and plants off the planet every year. Douglas Adams
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He shifted his weight from foot to foot, but it was equally uncomfortable on each. Douglas Adams
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Ghastly," continued Marvin, "it all is. Absolutely ghastly. Just don't even talk about it. Look at this door," he said, stepping through it. The irony circuits cut in to his voice modulator as he mimicked the style of the sales brochure. " 'All the doors in his spaceship have a cheerful and sunny disposition. It is their pleasure to open for you, and their satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done.' " As the door closed behind them it became apparent that it did indeed have a satisfied sighlike quality to it. "Hummmmmmmyummmmmmmah!" it said. Douglas Adams
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The lights went out in his eyes for absolutely the very last time ever. Douglas Adams
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To give real service you must add something which cannot be bought or measured with money, and that is sincerity and integrity. Douglas Adams
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I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Douglas Adams
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Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Douglas Adams
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It is a rare mind indeed that can render the hitherto non-existent blindingly obvious. The cry 'I could have thought of that' is a very popular and misleading one, for the fact is that they didn't, and a very significant and revealing fact it is too. Douglas Adams
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For a moment, nothing happened. Then, after a second or so, nothing continued to happen. Douglas Adams
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I'd far rather be happy than right any day. Douglas Adams
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One day old Thrashbarg said that Almighty Bob had declared that he, Thrashbarg, was to have first pick of the sandwiches. The villagers asked him when this had happened, exactly, and Thrashbarg said it had happened yesterday, when they weren't looking. 'Have faith,' Old Thrashbarg said, 'or burn!' They let him have first pick of the sandwiches. It seemed easiest. Douglas Adams
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If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat. Douglas Adams
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What is the point? We assume that every time we do anything we know what the consequences will be, i.e., more or less what we intend them to be. This is not only not always correct. It is wildly, crazily, stupidly, cross-eyed-blithering-insectly wrong! Douglas Adams
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Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it. Douglas Adams
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The more Susan waited, the more the doorbell didn't ring. Or the phone. Douglas Adams
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