Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies: 1. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. 3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams
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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. Douglas Adams
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In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Douglas Adams
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I am fascinated by religion. (That's a completely different thing from believing in it!) It has had such an incalculably huge effect on human affairs. What is it? What does it represent? Why have we invented it? How does it keep going? What will become of it? I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I've thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing. Douglas Adams
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People always make this totally artificial distinction between what is commercial and what is good. They quote that maxim "Nobody ever lost money underestimating the public's taste" and I think that's very wrongheaded. I like to believe the audience is actually intelligent, because it's made up of other people like yourself. Douglas Adams
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If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion. Douglas Adams
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He learned to communicate with birds and discovered their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with windspeed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Douglas Adams
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Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around. Douglas Adams
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It's guff. It doesn't advance the action. It makes for nice fat books such as the American market thrives on, but it doesn't actually get you anywhere. Douglas Adams
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I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day. Douglas Adams
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We all like to congregate at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where bodies meet mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other. Douglas Adams
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I find that writing is a constant battle with exactly the same problems you've always had. Douglas Adams
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My favorite piece of information is that Branwell Bronte, brother of Emily and Charlotte, died standing up leaning against a mantelpiece, in order to prove it could be done. This is not quite true, in fact. My absolute favorite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees. Douglas Adams
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The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. I mean the idea that such complexity can arise not only out of such simplicity, but probably absolutely out of nothing, is the most fabulous extraordinary idea. And once you get some kind of inkling of how that might have happened, it's just wonderful. And . . . the opportunity to spend 70 or 80 years of your life in such a universe is time well spent as far as I am concerned. Douglas Adams
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The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to. Douglas Adams
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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Douglas Adams
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Anything that is in the world when you?re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that?s invented between when you?re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you?re thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams
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Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day. Douglas Adams
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I think that growing up in a crowded continent like Europe with an awful lot of competing claims, ideas, cultures, and systems of thought we have, perforce, developed a more sophisticated notion of what the word freedom means than I see much evidence of in America. To be frank, it sometimes seems that the American idea of freedom has more to do with my freedom to do what I want than your freedom to do what you want. I think that in Europe we're probably better at understanding how to balance those competing claims, though not a lot. Douglas Adams
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We talked about how easy it was to make the mistake of anthropomorphizing animals, and projecting our own feelings and perceptions on to them, where they were inappropriate and didn't fit. We simply had no idea what it was like being an extremely large lizard, and neither for that matter did the lizard, because it was not self-conscious about being an extremely large lizard, it just got on with the business of being one. To react with revulsion to its behavior was to make the mistake of applying criteria that are only appropriate to the business of being human. Douglas Adams
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A theory of the universe that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for, it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable. Douglas Adams
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It takes a long time before we really get to grips with this [Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species'] and begin to understand it, because not only does it seem incredible and thoroughly demeaning to us, but it's yet another shock to our system to discover that not only are we not the centre of the Universe and we're not made by anything, but we started out as some kind of slime and got to where we are via being a monkey. It just doesn't read well. Douglas Adams
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The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%. Douglas Adams
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Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill. Douglas Adams
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Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? Douglas Adams
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Don't spin your wheels and stress. Take a deep breath, center yourself and make a plan. Douglas Adams
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The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. "Anything else we have to take our chances with. Douglas Adams
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Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax. Douglas Adams
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We"ll meet the meat. Douglas Adams
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Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I do' know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed. Douglas Adams
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There is an art to the business of making sandwiches which it is given to few ever to find the time to explore in depth. It is a simple task, but the opportunities for satisfaction are many and profound. Douglas Adams
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Ballycumber (ba-li-KUM-ber) n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed. Douglas Adams
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The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. Douglas Adams
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He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. Douglas Adams
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Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose. Douglas Adams
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I watched the gorilla's eyes again, wise and knowing eyes, and wondered about this business of trying to teach apes language. Our language. Why? There are many members of our own species who live in and with the forest and know it and understand it. We don't listen to them. What is there to suggest we would listen to anything an ape could tell us? Or that it would be able to tell us of its life in a language that hasn't been born of that life? I thought, maybe it is not that they have yet to gain a language, it is that we have lost one. Douglas Adams
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The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. Douglas Adams
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In the stillness, a fly would not have dared clear it's throat. Douglas Adams
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From another direction he felt the sensation of being a sheep startled by a flying saucer, but it was virtually indistinguishable from the feeling of being a sheep startled by anything else it ever encountered, for they were creatures who learned very little on their journey through life, and would be startled to see the sun rising in the morning, and astonished by all the green stuff in the fields. Douglas Adams
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The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up. Douglas Adams
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The Saab seethed off into the night. Arthur watched it go, as stunned as a man might be who, having believed himself to be totally blind for five years, suddenly discovers that he had merely been wearing too large a hat. Douglas Adams
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Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother. Douglas Adams
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The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing. Douglas Adams
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Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh. Douglas Adams
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But nowadays everybody's a comedian, even the weather girls and continuity announcers. We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment, or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert, just mud and drizzle everywhere, occasionally illuminated by the flash of paparazzi. Douglas Adams
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They live in perpetual fear of the time they call "The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief Douglas Adams
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Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things Douglas Adams
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Time doesn't necessarily happen in chronological order. Douglas Adams
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The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. How often have you been presented with an apparently rational explanation of something that works in all respects other than one, which is just that it is hopelessly improbable? Your instinct is to say, 'Yes, but he or she simply wouldn't do that. Douglas Adams
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The Encyclopedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to Be With. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing devision of the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, Douglas Adams
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'Totally mad,' he said, 'utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.' Douglas Adams
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The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making. Douglas Adams
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I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is. Douglas Adams
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There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world. Douglas Adams
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It's part of the shape of the Universe. I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me. Douglas Adams
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Earth: mostly harmless Douglas Adams
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These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vastly hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. Douglas Adams
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He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left. Douglas Adams
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Put away your worries, the world is a good and perfect place. It is in fact very easy. Douglas Adams
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He didn't know why he had become president of the galaxy, except that it seemed a fun thing to be. Douglas Adams
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In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot. Douglas Adams
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Believe me, it is a great deal better to find cast-iron proof that you're innocent than to languish in a cell hoping that the police-who already think you're guilty-will find it for you. Douglas Adams
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Nobleness was one word for making a fuss about the trivial inevitabilities of life, but there were others. Douglas Adams
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The idea was fantastically, wildly improbable. But like most fantastically, wildly improbable ideas it was at least as worthy of consideration as a more mundane one to which the facts had been strenuously bent to fit. Douglas Adams
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Dirk turned on the car wipers, which grumbled because they didn't have quite enough rain to wipe away, so he turned them off again. Rain quickly speckled the windscreen. He turned on the wipers again, but they still refused to feel that the exercise was worthwhile, and scraped and squeaked in protest. Douglas Adams
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Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge? Douglas Adams
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Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up. Douglas Adams
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How can I tell," said the man, "that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind? Douglas Adams
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Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Douglas Adams
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Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied. Douglas Adams
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