Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678

Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill. Douglas Adams

Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? Douglas Adams

Don't spin your wheels and stress. Take a deep breath, center yourself and make a plan. Douglas Adams

The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%. Douglas Adams

There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Douglas Adams

Anything that is in the world when you?re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that?s invented between when you?re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you?re thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams

Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day. Douglas Adams

The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to. Douglas Adams

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. Douglas Adams

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. Douglas Adams

Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose. Douglas Adams

Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them. Douglas Adams

What is this? Some sort of galactic hyperhearse? Douglas Adams

What I need... is a strong drink and a peer group. Douglas Adams

I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies: 1. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. 3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams

Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. Douglas Adams

In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Douglas Adams

I am fascinated by religion. (That's a completely different thing from believing in it!) It has had such an incalculably huge effect on human affairs. What is it? What does it represent? Why have we invented it? How does it keep going? What will become of it? I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I've thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing. Douglas Adams

People always make this totally artificial distinction between what is commercial and what is good. They quote that maxim "Nobody ever lost money underestimating the public's taste" and I think that's very wrongheaded. I like to believe the audience is actually intelligent, because it's made up of other people like yourself. Douglas Adams

If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion. Douglas Adams

He learned to communicate with birds and discovered their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with windspeed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Douglas Adams

I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? Douglas Adams

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Douglas Adams

The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind. Douglas Adams

The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks. Douglas Adams

Life is wasted on the living. Douglas Adams

Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around. Douglas Adams

It's guff. It doesn't advance the action. It makes for nice fat books such as the American market thrives on, but it doesn't actually get you anywhere. Douglas Adams

There is an art to the business of making sandwiches which it is given to few ever to find the time to explore in depth. It is a simple task, but the opportunities for satisfaction are many and profound. Douglas Adams

Ballycumber (ba-li-KUM-ber) n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed. Douglas Adams

He has personality problems beyond the dreams of analysts. Douglas Adams

I don't go to mythical places with strange men. Douglas Adams

The point is, you see," said Ford, "that there is no point in driving yourself mad trying to stop yourself going mad. You might just as well give in and save your sanity for later. Douglas Adams

I'm up to here with cool, okay? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. Douglas Adams

I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day. Douglas Adams

It's good to leave your room super-messy when you're away. Whoever tries to break into your room will thought it has already been ransacked. Douglas Adams

It's part of the shape of the Universe. I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me. Douglas Adams

Earth: mostly harmless Douglas Adams

These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vastly hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. Douglas Adams

He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left. Douglas Adams

Put away your worries, the world is a good and perfect place. It is in fact very easy. Douglas Adams

He didn't know why he had become president of the galaxy, except that it seemed a fun thing to be. Douglas Adams

In the center lay the exploded carcass of a lonely sperm whale that hadn't lived long enough to be disappointed with its lot. Douglas Adams

There's nothing worse than sitting down to write a novel and saying, "Well, okay, I'm going to do something of high artistic worth." It's funny. Douglas Adams

The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. Douglas Adams

In the stillness, a fly would not have dared clear it's throat. Douglas Adams

From another direction he felt the sensation of being a sheep startled by a flying saucer, but it was virtually indistinguishable from the feeling of being a sheep startled by anything else it ever encountered, for they were creatures who learned very little on their journey through life, and would be startled to see the sun rising in the morning, and astonished by all the green stuff in the fields. Douglas Adams

The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up. Douglas Adams

The Saab seethed off into the night. Arthur watched it go, as stunned as a man might be who, having believed himself to be totally blind for five years, suddenly discovers that he had merely been wearing too large a hat. Douglas Adams

Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother. Douglas Adams

Technology is the name we give to stuff that doesn't work properly yet Douglas Adams

'Totally mad,' he said, 'utter nonsense. But we'll do it because it's brilliant nonsense.' Douglas Adams

The most misleading assumptions are the ones you don't even know you're making. Douglas Adams

I think the problem, to be quite honest with you, is that you've never actually known what the question is. Douglas Adams

There are some oddities in the perspective with which we see the world. Douglas Adams

But the plans were on display..." "On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them." "That's the display department." "With a flashlight." "Ah, well, the lights had probably gone." "So had the stairs." "But look, you found the notice, did' you?" "Yes," said Arthur, "yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the Leopard. Douglas Adams

The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That's cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat. Douglas Adams

They would' even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. Douglas Adams

Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge? Douglas Adams

Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up. Douglas Adams

How can I tell," said the man, "that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind? Douglas Adams

The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing. Douglas Adams

Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh. Douglas Adams

Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things Douglas Adams

Time doesn't necessarily happen in chronological order. Douglas Adams

All you really need to know for the moment is that the universe is a lot more complicated than you might think, even if you start from a position of thinking it's pretty damn complicated in the first place. Douglas Adams

But nowadays everybody's a comedian, even the weather girls and continuity announcers. We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment, or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert, just mud and drizzle everywhere, occasionally illuminated by the flash of paparazzi. Douglas Adams

They live in perpetual fear of the time they call "The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief Douglas Adams

The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. How often have you been presented with an apparently rational explanation of something that works in all respects other than one, which is just that it is hopelessly improbable? Your instinct is to say, 'Yes, but he or she simply wouldn't do that. Douglas Adams

The Encyclopedia Galactica defines a robot as a mechanical apparatus designed to do the work of a man. The marketing division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation defines a robot as "Your Plastic Pal Who's Fun to Be With. The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy defines the marketing devision of the Sirius Cybernetic Corporation as "a bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes, Douglas Adams

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