Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. Douglas Adams
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The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. "Anything else we have to take our chances with. Douglas Adams
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Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax. Douglas Adams
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What a wonderfully exciting cough,' said the little man, quite startled by it, 'do you mind if I join you?' And with that he launched into the most extraordinary and spectacular fit of coughing which caught Arthur so much by surprise that he started to choke violently, discovered he was already doing it and got thoroughly confused. Douglas Adams
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If there's any real truth, it's that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. Douglas Adams
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I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More I cannot say. Douglas Adams
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She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she didn't care. Douglas Adams
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...to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before... Douglas Adams
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What do you get if you multiply six by nine?" "Six by nine. Forty two." "That's it. That's all there is." "I always thought something was fundamentally wrong with the universe Douglas Adams
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We are stuck with technology when all we really want is just stuff that works. How do you recognize something that is still technology? A good clue is if it comes with a manual. Douglas Adams
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Six pints of bitter, said Ford Prefect. And quickly please, the world's about to end. Douglas Adams
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I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? Douglas Adams
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It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Douglas Adams
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The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind. Douglas Adams
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The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks. Douglas Adams
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Life is wasted on the living. Douglas Adams
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It is folly to say you know what is happening to other people. Only they know, if they exist. They have their own Universes of their own eyes and ears. Douglas Adams
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We all like to congregate at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where bodies meet mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other. Douglas Adams
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I find that writing is a constant battle with exactly the same problems you've always had. Douglas Adams
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My favorite piece of information is that Branwell Bronte, brother of Emily and Charlotte, died standing up leaning against a mantelpiece, in order to prove it could be done. This is not quite true, in fact. My absolute favorite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees. Douglas Adams
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The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. I mean the idea that such complexity can arise not only out of such simplicity, but probably absolutely out of nothing, is the most fabulous extraordinary idea. And once you get some kind of inkling of how that might have happened, it's just wonderful. And . . . the opportunity to spend 70 or 80 years of your life in such a universe is time well spent as far as I am concerned. Douglas Adams
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The door was the way to... to... The Door was The Way. Good. Capital letters were always the best way of dealing with things you didn't have a good answer to. Douglas Adams
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There is a theory which states that if ever anybody discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Douglas Adams
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Anything that is in the world when you?re born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. Anything that?s invented between when you?re fifteen and thirty- five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. Anything invented after you?re thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams
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Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day. Douglas Adams
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We"ll meet the meat. Douglas Adams
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Pardon me for breathing, which I never do any way so I do' know why I bother to say it, oh God, I'm so depressed. Douglas Adams
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It takes a long time before we really get to grips with this [Darwin's 'On the Origin of Species'] and begin to understand it, because not only does it seem incredible and thoroughly demeaning to us, but it's yet another shock to our system to discover that not only are we not the centre of the Universe and we're not made by anything, but we started out as some kind of slime and got to where we are via being a monkey. It just doesn't read well. Douglas Adams
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Very strange people, physicists - in my experience the ones who aren't dead are in some way very ill. Douglas Adams
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Would you like me to go and stick my head in a bucket of water? Douglas Adams
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Don't spin your wheels and stress. Take a deep breath, center yourself and make a plan. Douglas Adams
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I think that growing up in a crowded continent like Europe with an awful lot of competing claims, ideas, cultures, and systems of thought we have, perforce, developed a more sophisticated notion of what the word freedom means than I see much evidence of in America. To be frank, it sometimes seems that the American idea of freedom has more to do with my freedom to do what I want than your freedom to do what you want. I think that in Europe we're probably better at understanding how to balance those competing claims, though not a lot. Douglas Adams
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We talked about how easy it was to make the mistake of anthropomorphizing animals, and projecting our own feelings and perceptions on to them, where they were inappropriate and didn't fit. We simply had no idea what it was like being an extremely large lizard, and neither for that matter did the lizard, because it was not self-conscious about being an extremely large lizard, it just got on with the business of being one. To react with revulsion to its behavior was to make the mistake of applying criteria that are only appropriate to the business of being human. Douglas Adams
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A theory of the universe that states: If anyone finds out what the universe is for, it will disappear and be replaced by something more bizarrely inexplicable. Douglas Adams
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The Macintosh may only have 10% of the market, but it is clearly the top 10%. Douglas Adams
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Technology is a word that describes something that doesn't work yet. Douglas Adams
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Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation. Douglas Adams
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He attacked everything in life with a mix of extraordinary genius and naive incompetence, and it was often difficult to tell which was which. Douglas Adams
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That young girl is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting. Douglas Adams
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Perhaps I'm old and tired, but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied. Douglas Adams
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We notice things that don't work. We don't notice things that do. We notice computers, we don't notice pennies. We notice e-book readers, we don't notice books. Douglas Adams
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There is no problem so complicated that you can't find a very simple answer to it if you look at it right. Douglas Adams
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Shee, you guys are so unhip it's a wonder your bums don't fall off. Douglas Adams
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So this is it," said Arthur, "We are going to die." "Yes," said Ford, "except... no! Wait a minute!" He suddenly lunged across the chamber at something behind Arthur's line of vision. "What's this switch?" he cried. "What? Where?" cried Arthur, twisting round. "No, I was only fooling," said Ford, "we are going to die after all. Douglas Adams
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The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why, and Where phases. For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question 'How can we eat?' the second by the question 'Why do we eat?' and the third by the question 'Where shall we have lunch? Douglas Adams
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We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty! Douglas Adams
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But the reason I call myself by my childhood name is to remind myself that a scientist must also be absolutely like a child. If he sees a thing, he must say that he sees it, whether it was what he thought he was going to see or not. See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting. Douglas Adams
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Conceited little mega-puppy. Douglas Adams
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In fact, a very similar phrase was invented to account for the sudden transition of wood, metal, plastic and concrete into an explosive condition, which was "nonlinear, catastrophic structural exasperation," or to put it another way-as a junior cabinet minister did on television the following night in a phrase which was to haunt the rest of his career-the check-in desk had just got "fundamentally fed up with being where it was. Douglas Adams
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Believe me, it is a great deal better to find cast-iron proof that you're innocent than to languish in a cell hoping that the police-who already think you're guilty-will find it for you. Douglas Adams
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Nobleness was one word for making a fuss about the trivial inevitabilities of life, but there were others. Douglas Adams
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The idea was fantastically, wildly improbable. But like most fantastically, wildly improbable ideas it was at least as worthy of consideration as a more mundane one to which the facts had been strenuously bent to fit. Douglas Adams
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Dirk turned on the car wipers, which grumbled because they didn't have quite enough rain to wipe away, so he turned them off again. Rain quickly speckled the windscreen. He turned on the wipers again, but they still refused to feel that the exercise was worthwhile, and scraped and squeaked in protest. Douglas Adams
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Do you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge? Douglas Adams
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Marvin started his ironical humming again. Zaphod hit him and he shut up. Douglas Adams
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How can I tell," said the man, "that the past isn't a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind? Douglas Adams
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The argument goes something like this: "I refuse to prove that I exist," says God, "for proof denies faith, and without faith I am nothing. Douglas Adams
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Ford Prefect suppressed a little giggle of evil satisfaction, realized that he had no reason to suppress it, and laughed out loud, a wicked laugh. Douglas Adams
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But nowadays everybody's a comedian, even the weather girls and continuity announcers. We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment, or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert, just mud and drizzle everywhere, occasionally illuminated by the flash of paparazzi. Douglas Adams
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They live in perpetual fear of the time they call "The Coming of the Great White Handkerchief Douglas Adams
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I watched the gorilla's eyes again, wise and knowing eyes, and wondered about this business of trying to teach apes language. Our language. Why? There are many members of our own species who live in and with the forest and know it and understand it. We don't listen to them. What is there to suggest we would listen to anything an ape could tell us? Or that it would be able to tell us of its life in a language that hasn't been born of that life? I thought, maybe it is not that they have yet to gain a language, it is that we have lost one. Douglas Adams
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The bowler approached the wicket at a lope, a trot, and then a run. He suddenly exploded in a flurry of arms and legs, out of which flew a ball. Douglas Adams
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In the stillness, a fly would not have dared clear it's throat. Douglas Adams
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From another direction he felt the sensation of being a sheep startled by a flying saucer, but it was virtually indistinguishable from the feeling of being a sheep startled by anything else it ever encountered, for they were creatures who learned very little on their journey through life, and would be startled to see the sun rising in the morning, and astonished by all the green stuff in the fields. Douglas Adams
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The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. Somebody did once look at his watch, but that was eleven years ago now, and there has been no follow up. Douglas Adams
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The Saab seethed off into the night. Arthur watched it go, as stunned as a man might be who, having believed himself to be totally blind for five years, suddenly discovers that he had merely been wearing too large a hat. Douglas Adams
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Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother. Douglas Adams
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It's part of the shape of the Universe. I only have to talk to somebody and they begin to hate me. Douglas Adams
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Earth: mostly harmless Douglas Adams
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These creatures you call mice, you see, they are not quite as they appear. They are merely the protrusion into our dimension of vastly hyperintelligent pandimensional beings. Douglas Adams
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