Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


Time is the worst place, so to speak, to get lost in, as Arthur Dent could testify, having been lost in both time and space a good deal. At least being lost in space kept you busy. Douglas Adams
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I do' know what I'm looking for." "What not?" "Because ... because ... I think it might be because if I knew I would' be able to look for them. Douglas Adams
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Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It does' necessarily do it in chronological order, though. Douglas Adams
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Funny, how just when you think life ca' possibly get any worse it suddenly does. Douglas Adams
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The gorillas are not yet sufficiently advanced in evolutionary terms to have discovered the benefits of passports, currency-declaration forms, and official bribery, and therefore tend to wander backward and forward across the border as and when their beastly, primitive whim takes them. Douglas Adams
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I can see we're in for a fabulous evening's apocalypse. Douglas Adams
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A learning experience is one of those things that say, You know that thing you just did? Don't do that. Douglas Adams
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You would probably not say that he was sleeping the sleep of the just, unless you meant the just asleep, but it was certainly the sleep of someone who was not fooling about when he climbed into bed of a night and turned off the light. Douglas Adams
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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space. Douglas Adams
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It is an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem. For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons. Douglas Adams
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It is known that there is an infinite number of worlds, but that not every one is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so if every planet in the Universe has a population of zero then the entire population of the Universe must also be zero, and any people you may actually meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. Douglas Adams
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My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. Douglas Adams
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This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. Douglas Adams
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There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovered exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarrely inexplicable. There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Douglas Adams
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It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on Earth has ever produced the expression 'as pretty as an airport. Douglas Adams
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There are two things in particular that it [the computer industry] failed to foresee: one was the coming of the Internet(...); the other was the fact that the century would end. Douglas Adams
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The light was only just visible - except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not this time, but it was nevertheless a light. Douglas Adams
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I am terribly proud of-I was born in Cambridge in 1952 and my initials are DNA! Douglas Adams
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Fifteen years was a long time to be stranded anywhere, particularly somewhere as mind-boggingly dull as Earth. Douglas Adams
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The World Wide Web is the only thing I know of whose shortened form takes three times longer to say than what it's short for. Douglas Adams
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You turn the computer into the storyteller and the player into the audience, like in the old days when the storyteller would actually respond to the audience, rather than just having the audience respond to the storyteller. I had an enormous amount of fun, actually, working on that. Douglas Adams
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David Attenborough has said that Bali is the most beautiful place in the world, but he must have been there longer than we were, and seen different bits, because most of what we saw in the couple of days we were there sorting out our travel arrangements was awful. It was just the tourist area, i.e., that part of Bali which has been made almost exactly the same as everywhere else in the world for the sake of people who have come all this way to see Bali. Douglas Adams
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Zaphod felt he was teetering on the edge of madness and wondered if he shouldn't just jump over and have done with it. Douglas Adams
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It's the story of my life. You see, the quality of any advice anybody has to offer has to be judged against the quality of life they actually lead. Now, as you look through this document you'll see that I've underlined all the major decisions I ever made to make the stand out. They're all indexed and cross-referenced. See? All I can suggest is that if you take decisions that are exactly opposite to the sort of decisions that I've taken, then maybe you won't finish up at the end of your life" -she paused, and filled her lungs for a good should-"in a smelly old cave like this! Douglas Adams
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I don't want to die now!" he yelled. "I've still got a headache! I don't want to go to heaven with a headache, I'd be all cross and wouldn't enjoy it! Douglas Adams
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My absolute favourite piece of information is the fact that young sloths are so inept that they frequently grab their own arms and legs instead of tree limbs, and fall out of trees. Douglas Adams
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Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end. Douglas Adams
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Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for. Douglas Adams
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Joo Janta 200 Super-Chromatic Peril Sensitive Sunglasses have been specially designed to help people develop a relaxed attitude to danger. At the first hint of trouble, they turn totally black and thus prevent you from seeing anything that might alarm you. Douglas Adams
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?If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner..." "Yeah?" "Please don't hesitate to get lost. Douglas Adams
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This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much all of the time. Douglas Adams
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Sir,' I said to the universe, 'I exist.' 'That,' said the universe, 'creates no sense of obligation in me whatsoever. Douglas Adams
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Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible. Douglas Adams
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The light works," he said, indicating the window, "the gravity works," he said, dropping a pencil on the floor. "Anything else we have to take our chances with. Douglas Adams
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Please call me Eddie if it will help you to relax. Douglas Adams
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What a wonderfully exciting cough,' said the little man, quite startled by it, 'do you mind if I join you?' And with that he launched into the most extraordinary and spectacular fit of coughing which caught Arthur so much by surprise that he started to choke violently, discovered he was already doing it and got thoroughly confused. Douglas Adams
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If there's any real truth, it's that the entire multidimensional infinity of the Universe is almost certainly being run by a bunch of maniacs. Douglas Adams
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I say what it occurs to me to say when I think I hear people say things. More I cannot say. Douglas Adams
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She had what it took: great hair, a profound understanding of strategic lip gloss, the intelligence to understand the world and a tiny secret interior deadness which meant she didn't care. Douglas Adams
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...to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before... Douglas Adams
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What do you get if you multiply six by nine?" "Six by nine. Forty two." "That's it. That's all there is." "I always thought something was fundamentally wrong with the universe Douglas Adams
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We are stuck with technology when all we really want is just stuff that works. How do you recognize something that is still technology? A good clue is if it comes with a manual. Douglas Adams
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Six pints of bitter, said Ford Prefect. And quickly please, the world's about to end. Douglas Adams
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I think fish is nice, but then I think that rain is wet, so who am I to judge? Douglas Adams
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It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes. Douglas Adams
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The mere thought hadn't even begun to speculate about the merest possibility of crossing my mind. Douglas Adams
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The impossible often has a kind of integrity which the merely improbable lacks. Douglas Adams
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Life is wasted on the living. Douglas Adams
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We all like to congregate at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where bodies meet mind. Where space meets time. We like to be on one side, and look at the other. Douglas Adams
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I find that writing is a constant battle with exactly the same problems you've always had. Douglas Adams
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He sniggered. He didn't like to think of himself as the sort of person who giggled or sniggered, but he had to admit that he had been giggling and sniggering almost continuously for well over half an hour now. Douglas Adams
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Marvin trudged on down the corridor, still moaning. "...and then of course I've got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left hand side..." "No?" said Arthur grimly as he walked along beside him. "Really?" "Oh yes," said Marvin, "I mean I've asked for them to be replaced but no one ever listens." "I can imagine. Douglas Adams
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The Ultimate Answer to Life, The Universe and Everything is...42! Douglas Adams
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I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day. Douglas Adams
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The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. Douglas Adams
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He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. Douglas Adams
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Don't believe anything you read on the net. Except this. Well, including this, I suppose. Douglas Adams
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Much to his annoyance, a thought popped into his mind. It was very clear and very distinct, and he had now come to recognize these thoughts for what they were. His instinct was to resist them. Douglas Adams
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What is this? Some sort of galactic hyperhearse? Douglas Adams
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What I need... is a strong drink and a peer group. Douglas Adams
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I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies: 1. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. 3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams
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Nothing travels faster than the speed of light, with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. Douglas Adams
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In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri. Douglas Adams
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I am fascinated by religion. (That's a completely different thing from believing in it!) It has had such an incalculably huge effect on human affairs. What is it? What does it represent? Why have we invented it? How does it keep going? What will become of it? I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I've thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing. Douglas Adams
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People always make this totally artificial distinction between what is commercial and what is good. They quote that maxim "Nobody ever lost money underestimating the public's taste" and I think that's very wrongheaded. I like to believe the audience is actually intelligent, because it's made up of other people like yourself. Douglas Adams
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If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion. Douglas Adams
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He learned to communicate with birds and discovered their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with windspeed, wingspans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Douglas Adams
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Having not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around. Douglas Adams
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It's guff. It doesn't advance the action. It makes for nice fat books such as the American market thrives on, but it doesn't actually get you anywhere. Douglas Adams
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There is an art to the business of making sandwiches which it is given to few ever to find the time to explore in depth. It is a simple task, but the opportunities for satisfaction are many and profound. Douglas Adams
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