Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


Douglas Adams did not enjoy writing, and he enjoyed it less as time went on. He was a bestselling, acclaimed, and much-loved novelist who had not set out to be a novelist, and who took little joy in the process of crafting novels. He loved talking to audiences. He liked writing screenplays. He liked being at the cutting edge of technology and inventing Douglas Adams
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The big corporations are suddenly taking notice of the web, and their reactions have been slow. Even the computer industry failed to see the importance of the Internet, but that's not saying much. Let's face it, the computer industry failed to see that the century would end. Douglas Adams
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On the delivery plate of the Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer was a small tray, on which say three bone china cups and saucers, a bone china jug of milk, a silver teapot full of the best tea Arthur had ever tasted and a small printed note saying "Wait. Douglas Adams
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One always overcompensates for disabilities. I'm thinking of having my entire body surgically removed. Douglas Adams
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If I were not an atheist, I think I would have to be a Catholic because if it wasn't the forces of natural selection that designed fish, It must have been an Italian. Douglas Adams
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Even the evil-looking bird perched on a rod in the bar had stopped screeching out the names and addresses of local contract killers, which was a service it provided for free. Douglas Adams
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Goosnargh," said Ford Prefect, which was a special Betelgeusian word he used when he knew he should say something but didn't know what it should be. Douglas Adams
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Despite the fact that an Indonesian island chicken has probably had a much more natural life than one raised on a battery farm in England, people who wouldn't think twice about buying something oven-ready become much more upset about a chicken that they've been on a boat with, so there is probably buried in the Western psyche a deep taboo about eating anything you've been introduced to socially. Douglas Adams
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Why should I want to make anything up? Life's bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it. Douglas Adams
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Just supposing," he said, "just supposing" -he didn't know what was coming next, so he thought he'd just sit back and listen-"that there was some extraordinary way in which you were very important to me, and that, though you didn't know it, I was very important to you, but it all went for nothing because we only had five miles and I was a stupid idiot at knowing how to say something very important to someone I've only just met and not crash into lorries a the same time, what would you say..." He paused, helplessly, and looked at her. "I should do. Douglas Adams
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You come to me for advice, but you can't cope with anything you don't recognize. Hmmm. So we'll have to tell you something you already know but make it sound like news, eh Well, business as usual , I suppose. Douglas Adams
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Protect me from knowing what I don't need to know. Protect me from even knowing that there are things to know that I don't know. Protect me from knowing that I decided not to know about the things that I decided not to know about. Amen. Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Douglas Adams
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How many roads must a man walk down? Douglas Adams
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You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number." "Er, five," said the mattress. "Wrong," said Marvin. "You see? Douglas Adams
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Beauty doesn't have to be about anything. What's a vase about? What's a sunset or a flower about? What, for that matter, is Mozart's Twenty-third Piano Concerto about? Douglas Adams
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You can't dodge your responsibilities by saying they don't exist! Douglas Adams
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...and the renewed shock had nearly made him spill his drink. He drained it quickly before anything serious happened to it. He then had another quick one to follow the first one down and check that it was all right. Douglas Adams
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It seemed to me,' said Wonko the Sane, 'that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane. Douglas Adams
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You barbarians!' he yelled. 'I'll sue the council for every penny it's got! I'll have you hung, drawn and quartered! And whipped! And boiled...until...until...until...until you've had enough.' Ford was running after him. Very very fast. 'And then I will do it again!' yelled Arthur, 'And when I've finished I will take all the little bits, and I will jump on them! Douglas Adams
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You just come along with me and have a good time. The Galaxy's a fun place. You'll need to have this fish in your ear. Douglas Adams
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Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity - distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless Douglas Adams
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ABOYNE (vb.) To beat an expert at a game of skill by playing so appallingly that none of his clever tactics or strategies are of any use to him. Douglas Adams
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If they don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. Douglas Adams
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Now the world has gone to bed, Darkness won't engulf my head, I can see by infrared, How I hate the night. Now I lay me down to sleep, Try to count electric sheep, Sweet dream wishes you can keep, How I hate the night. -Marvin Douglas Adams
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Humans think they are smarter than dolphins because we build cars and buildings and start wars etc., and all that dolphins do is swim in the water, eat fish and play around. Dolphins believe that they are smarter for exactly the same reasons. Douglas Adams
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God is no longer an explanation of anything, but has instead become something that would itself need an insurmountable amount of explaining. Douglas Adams
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I think all cats are wild. They only act tame if there's a saucer of milk in it for them. Douglas Adams
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You can't possibly be a scientist if you mind people thinking that you're a fool. Douglas Adams
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The longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. The problem of when the drink is going to run out is, however, going to have to be faced one day. The planet over which they are floating is no longer the planet it was when they first started floating over it. It is in bad shape Douglas Adams
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I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I've thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing. Douglas Adams
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There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.There is another theory which states that this has already happened. Douglas Adams
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If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves. Douglas Adams
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I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons. Douglas Adams
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Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job. Douglas Adams
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Ford... you're turning into a penguin. Stop it. Douglas Adams
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Let the past hold on to itself and let the present move forward into the future. Douglas Adams
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My universe is my eyes and my ears. Anything else is hearsay. Douglas Adams
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Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now? Douglas Adams
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Ahenny (adj.) - The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves. Douglas Adams
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One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very very obvious. Douglas Adams
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Time affords us the ability to blame past errors on others while whole heartedly pronouncing our futures successes. Douglas Adams
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Generally, old media don't die. They just have to grow old gracefully. Guess what, we still have stone masons. They haven't been the primary purveyors of the written word for a while now of course, but they still have a role because you wouldn't want a TV screen on your headstone. Douglas Adams
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Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. Douglas Adams
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If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now. Douglas Adams
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42 is a nice number that you can take home and introduce to your family. Douglas Adams
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Most of the time spent wrestling with technologies that don't quite work yet is just not worth it for end users, however much fun it is for nerds. Douglas Adams
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The usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the IRA , then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one in a million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all, and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic, before finally having to admit that it wasn't actually anything to do with them at all. Douglas Adams
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High on a rocky promontory sat an Electric Monk on a bored horse. Douglas Adams
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And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, a girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything. Douglas Adams
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What was the self-sacrifice?" I jettisoned half of a much-loved and I think irreplaceable pair of shoes." Why was that self-sacrifice?" Because they were mine!" said Ford, crossly. I think we have different value systems." Well mine's better. Douglas Adams
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Everybody has their moment of great opportunity in life. If you happen to miss the one you care about, then everything else becomes eerily easy. Douglas Adams
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The air was stifling, but he liked it because it was stifling city air, full of excitingly unpleasant smells, dangerous music, and the distant sound of warring police tribes. Douglas Adams
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He almost danced to the fridge, found the three least hairy things in it, put them on a plate and watched them intently for two minutes. Since they made no attempt to move within that time he called them breakfast and ate them. Between them they killed a virulent space disease he'd picked up without knowing it in the Flargathon Gas Swamps a few days earlier, which otherwise would have killed off half the population of the Western Hemisphere, blinded the other half, and driven everyone else psychotic and sterile, so the Earth was lucky there. Douglas Adams
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Anything that thinks logically can be fooled by something else that thinks at least as logically as it does. Douglas Adams
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Nobody likes a whistler, particularly not the divinity that shapes our ends. Douglas Adams
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So the hours are pretty good then?' he resumed. The Vogon stared down at him as sluggish thoughts moiled around in the murky depths. Yeah,' he said, 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy. Douglas Adams
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If everyone knew exactly what I was going to say, then there would be no point in my saying it, would there? Douglas Adams
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There is no point in using the word 'impossible' to describe something that has clearly happened. Douglas Adams
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Not unnaturally, many elevators imbued with intelligence and precognition became terribly frustrated with the mindless business of going up and down, up and down, experimented briefly with the notion of going sideways, as a sort of existential protest, demanded participation in the decision-making process and finally took to squatting in basements sulking. An impoverished hitch-hiker visiting any planets in the Sirius star system these days can pick up easy money working as a counsellor for neurotic elevators. Douglas Adams
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A life that is burdened with expectations is a heavy life. Its fruit is sorrow and disappointment. Douglas Adams
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Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila. Douglas Adams
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The waiter approached. 'Would you like to see the menu?' he said. 'Or would you like to meet the Dish of the Day?' 'Huh?' said Ford. 'Huh?' said Arthur. 'Huh?' said Trillian. 'That's cool,' said Zaphod. 'We'll meet the meat. Douglas Adams
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The difference between us and a computer is that, the computer is blindingly stupid, but it is capable of being stupid many, many million times a second. Douglas Adams
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Gordon Way's astonishment at being suddenly shot dead was nothing compared to his astonishment at what happened next. Douglas Adams
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And all dared to brave unknown terrors, to do mighty deeds, to boldly split infinitives that no man had split before-and thus was the Empire forged. Douglas Adams
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Presidents don't have power. Their job is to draw attention away from it. Douglas Adams
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"Does God know he [exists]?" "Of course he does. Otherwise, you could not have asked the question, and I could not have answered." Douglas Adams
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If there was one thing life had taught her it was that there are times when you do not go back for your bag and times when you do. It had yet to teach her to distinguish between the two types of occasion. Douglas Adams
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Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things Douglas Adams
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I love to keep poking and prodding at it. I"ve thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing. Douglas Adams
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