Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


The teacher usually learns more than the pupils. Isn't that true? "It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils," came a low growl from somewhere on the table, "without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy." Douglas Adams
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'These things will become clear to you,' said the old man gently, 'at least,' he added with slight doubt in his voice, 'clearer than they are at the moment.' Douglas Adams
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Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth. Douglas Adams
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But while nature has considerable resilience, there is a limit to how far that resilience can be stretched. No one knows how close to the limit we are getting. The darker it gets, the faster we're driving Douglas Adams
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How do you know you're having fun if there's no one watching you have it? Douglas Adams
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I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style Douglas Adams
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Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason [Zaphood] had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did. Douglas Adams
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He turned slowly like a fridge door opening. Douglas Adams
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I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course-the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end. Douglas Adams
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In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship-he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still retain the romantic notion that he has simply popped out for a sandwich and will yet return to put in a solid afternoon's work. Strictly speaking, all editors since Lig Lury Jr., have therefore been designated acting editors, and Lig's desk is still preserved the way he left it, with the addition of a small sign that says LIG LURY, JR., EDITOR, MISSING, PRESUMED FED. Douglas Adams
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The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79. Douglas Adams
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My capacity for happiness," he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first Douglas Adams
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I begged her, 'Please don't leave me stranded in the middle of some primitive zarking forest with no medical help and a head injury. I could be in serious trouble and so could she.'" "What did she say?" "She hit me on the head with the rock again," Ford responded curtly. "I think i can confirm that was my daughter." "Sweet kid." "You have to get to know her," said Arthur. "She eases up, does she?" "No, but you get a better sense of when to duck. Douglas Adams
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The story goes that I first had the idea for The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck. Douglas Adams
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Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules. Douglas Adams
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The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline. Douglas Adams
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What god would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15.37 flight to Oslo? Douglas Adams
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One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no "them" out there. It's just an awful lot of "us". Douglas Adams
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I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Douglas Adams
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We live in strange times. We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Being able to glance out into this bewildering complexity of infinite recursion and say things like, 'Oh, hi, Ed! Nice tan. How's Carol?' involves a great deal of filtering skill for which all conscious entities have eventually to develop a capacity in order to protect themselves from the contemplation of the chaos through which they seethe and tumble. Douglas Adams
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Their minds sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly and totally impossible or that physics had a lot of catching up to do. Douglas Adams
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The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy also mentions alcohol. It says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, the effect of which is like having your brains smashed out with a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. Douglas Adams
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The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be. Douglas Adams
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Humans are not proud of their ancestors, and rarely invite them round to dinner. Douglas Adams
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Capital Letters Were Always The Best Way Of Dealing With Things You Didn't Have A Good Answer To. Douglas Adams
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Zaphod Beeblebrox, adventurer, ex-hippie, good-timer (crook? quite possibly), manic self-publicist, terrible bad at personal relationships, often thought to be completely out to lunch. Douglas Adams
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And so the Universe ended. Douglas Adams
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A learning experience is one of those things that says, 'You know that thing you just did? Don't do that. Douglas Adams
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Moving from radio to television, you can take most of the words with you. Douglas Adams
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A fragrant breeze wandered up from the quiet sea, trailed along the beach, and drifted back to the sea again, wondering where to go next. On a mad impulse it went up to the beach again. It drifted back to sea. Douglas Adams
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Alone of all the races on earth, they seem to be free from the 'Grass is Greener on the other side of the fence' syndrome, and roundly proclaim that Australia is, in fact, the other side of that fence. Douglas Adams
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I have always been absurdly, ridiculously tall. To give you an idea- when we went on school trips to Interesting and Improving Places, the form-master wouldn't say "Meet under the clock tower," or "Meet under the War Memorial," but "Meet under Adams. Douglas Adams
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The fact is, I don't know where my ideas come from. Nor does any writer. The only real answer is to drink way too much coffee and buy yourself a desk that doesn't collapse when you beat your head against it. Douglas Adams
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And so the problem remained; lots of people were mean, and most were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Douglas Adams
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The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the 'Star Spangled Banner', but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish. Douglas Adams
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And wow! Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name - ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me? Douglas Adams
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Space is really big-REALLY big. Douglas Adams
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Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody - maybe even disliking them a lot - and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire. Douglas Adams
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What god would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15:37 flight to Oslo? Douglas Adams
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Being literate as a writer is good craft, is knowing your job, is knowing how to use your tools properly and not to damage the tools as you use them. Douglas Adams
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The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it which the merely improbable lacks. Douglas Adams
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The Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder... Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe. Douglas Adams
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Yes, it is true that sometimes unusually intelligent and sensitive children can appear to be stupid. But stupid children can sometimes appear to be stupid as well. I think that's something you might have to consider. Douglas Adams
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People who need to bully you are the easiest to push around. Douglas Adams
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But what about the End of the Universe? We'll miss the big moment." I've seen it. It's rubbish," said Zaphod,"nothing but a gnab gib." A what?" Opposite of a big bang. Come on, let's get zappy. Douglas Adams
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It all sounds rather naive and sentimental to be talking about children laughing and dancing and singing together when we all know perfectly well that what children do in real life is snarl and take drugs. Douglas Adams
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I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be. Douglas Adams
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In order to fly, all one must do is simply miss the ground. Douglas Adams
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I don't believe it. Prove it to me and I still won't believe it. Douglas Adams
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The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate. Douglas Adams
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The available worlds looked pretty grim. They had little to offer him because he had little to offer them. He had been extremely chastened to realize that although he originally came from a world which had cars and computers and ballet and Armagnac, he didn't, by himself, know how any of it worked. He couldn't do it. Left to his own devices he couldn't build a toaster. He could just about make a sandwich and that was it. Douglas Adams
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God's Final Message to His Creation: 'We apologize for the inconvenience. Douglas Adams
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[The Head of Radio Three] had been ensnared by the Music Director of the college and a Professor of Philosophy. These two were busy explaining to the harassed man that the phrase "too much Mozart" was, given any reasonable definition of those three words, an inherently self-contradictory expression, and that any sentence which contained such a phrase would be thereby rendered meaningless and could not, consequently, be advanced as part of an argument in favour of any given programme-scheduling strategy. Douglas Adams
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Come on," he droned, "I"ve been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? "Cos I do'." He turned and walked back to the hated door. "Er, excuse me," said Ford following after him, "which government owns this ship?" Marvin ignored him. "You watch this door," he muttered, "it's about to open again. I can tell by the intolerable air of smugness it suddenly generates. Douglas Adams
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I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be. Douglas Adams
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There was constant talk about hewing things and ravaging things and splitting things asunder. Lots of big talk of things being mighty, and of things being riven, and of things being in thrall to other things, but very little attention given, as I now realise, to the laundry. Douglas Adams
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... Most of the words that airline staff used, or rather most of the sentences into which they were habitually arranged, had been worked so hard that they had died. Douglas Adams
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The hardest assumption to challenge is the one you don't even know you are making. Douglas Adams
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Democracy is all about not electing the wrong man-eating lizard. Douglas Adams
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The books people are writing today, they're too long. You get a little bit of plot, and then pages and pages of Creative Writing. They teach classes in how to do this. They should teach classes in how to stop! Douglas Adams
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I don't like the idea of missionaries. In fact, the whole business fills me with fear and alarm. I don't believe in God, or at least not in the one we've invented for ourselves in England to fulfill our peculiarly English needs, and certainly not in the ones they've invented in America who supply their servants with toupees, television stations and, most importantly, toll-free telephone numbers. I wish that people who did believe in such things would keep them to themselves and not export them to the developing world. Douglas Adams
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There is a piece of me that likes to fondly imagine my maverick and rebellious nature, but, more accurately, I like to have a nice and cosy institution that I can rub up against a little bit. Douglas Adams
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Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal. Douglas Adams
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The little waiter's eyebrows wandered about his forehead in confusion. Douglas Adams
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And the most interesting natural structure? A giant, two-thousand-mile-long fish in orbit around Jupiter, according to a reliable report in the Weekly World News. The photograph was very convincing, and I'm only surprised that more-reputable journals like New Scientist, or even just The Sun, haven't followed up with more details. We should be told. Douglas Adams
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Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City. Douglas Adams
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Let us be dreamers, thinkers, speculative philosophers, or as our spouses would have it: Idiots Douglas Adams
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I come in peace...Take me to your lizard. Douglas Adams
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I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: "Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end". Douglas Adams
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There was a terribly ghastly silence. There was a terribly ghastly noise. There was a terribly ghastly silence. Douglas Adams
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