Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


I tend to get very suspicious of anything that thinks it's art while it's being created. Douglas Adams
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Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again. It doesn't necessarily do it in chronological order, though. Douglas Adams
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Even a manically depressed robot is better to talk to than nobody. Douglas Adams
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The complexities of cause and effect defy analysis. Douglas Adams
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It was his subconscious which told him this-that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing. Douglas Adams
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The lights were off so that his heads could avoid looking at each other because neither of them was currently a particular engaging sight, nor had they been since he had made the error of looking into his soul. It had indeed been an error. It had been late one night- of course. It had been a difficult day- of course. There had been soulful music playing on the ship's sound system- of course. And he had, of course, been slightly drunk. In other words, all the usual conditions that bring on a bout of soul searching had applied, but it had, nevertheless, clearly been an error. Douglas Adams
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A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. Douglas Adams
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In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. Douglas Adams
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Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too? Douglas Adams
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The major difference between a thing that might go wrong and a thing that cannot possibly go wrong is that when a thing that cannot possibly go wrong goes wrong it usually turns out to be impossible to get at and repair. Douglas Adams
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He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife. Douglas Adams
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You live and learn. At any rate, you live. Douglas Adams
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Beethoven tells you what it's like to be Beethoven and Mozart tells you what it's like to be human. Bach tells you what it's like to be the universe. Douglas Adams
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If they do' keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. Douglas Adams
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A suffusion of yellow. (A calculator's response to the question of any math problem with an answer larger than four.) Douglas Adams
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Radio did not kill books and television did not kill radio or movies - what television did kill was cinema newsreel. TV does it much better because it can deliver it instantly. Who wants last week's news? Douglas Adams
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In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lot of their time in behavioural research laboratories running around inside wheels and conduction frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted this relationship was entirely according to these creatures' plans. Douglas Adams
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So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?' I asked. He looked at me as if I were stupid. 'You die, of course. That's what deadly means. Douglas Adams
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In an infinite Universe anything can happen. Douglas Adams
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He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true. Douglas Adams
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There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now. ... What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind, it's only four light years away, you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams. Douglas Adams
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There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes Douglas Adams
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It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever. Douglas Adams
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Obviously somebody had been appallingly incompetent and he hoped to God it wasn't him. Douglas Adams
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What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil. Isn't that true? Douglas Adams
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Only by counting could humans demonstrate their independence of computers. Douglas Adams
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The Somebody Else's Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people's natural disposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain. Douglas Adams
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You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass. Douglas Adams
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What's up?" [asked Ford.] I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there. Douglas Adams
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The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite". Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, "wow, that's big", time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here. Douglas Adams
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Mr L Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though he didn't know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan, though intervening generations and racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only vestiges left in Mr L Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats. Douglas Adams
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I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good. Douglas Adams
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Imagine" he said, "never even thinking, 'We are alone,' simply because it has never occurred to you to think that there's any other way to be. Douglas Adams
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Even light, which travels so fast it takes most races thousands of years to realize that it travels at all, takes time to journey between the stars. Douglas Adams
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There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Douglas Adams
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And wow! Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name ? ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me? Douglas Adams
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The Answer to the Great Question Of... Life, the Universe and Everything... [is] Forty-two. Douglas Adams
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Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you ca' like it. Douglas Adams
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In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move. Douglas Adams
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For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much-the wheel, New York, wars and so on-while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man-for precisely the same reasons. Douglas Adams
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I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies: 1. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. 3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams
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For seven and a half million years, Deep Thought computed and calculated, and in the end announced that the answer was in fact Forty-two - and so another, even bigger, computer had to be built to find out what the actual question was... Douglas Adams
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The thing that used to worry him most was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so worried about. Douglas Adams
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The mail on the doormat consisted of the usual things: a rude letter threatening to take away his American Express card, an invitation to apply for an American Express card, and a few bills of the more hysterical and unrealistic type. Douglas Adams
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If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. Douglas Adams
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I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end. Douglas Adams
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I have detected disturbances in the wash.The wash?The space-time wash.Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?Eddies in the space-time continuum.Ah...is he. Is he.What?Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly? Douglas Adams
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If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner..." "Yeah?" "Please don't hesitate to get lost. Douglas Adams
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