Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


There are two things you should remember when dealing with parallel universes. One, they're not really parallel, and two, they're not really universes Douglas Adams
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Many men of course became extremely rich, but this was perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of because no one was really poor, at least no one worth speaking of. Douglas Adams
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Lord, lord, lord. Protect me from the consequences of the above prayer. Douglas Adams
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The Presidents job, is not to wield power himself, but to lead attention away from it. Douglas Adams
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For seven and a half million years, Deep Thought computed and calculated, and in the end announced that the answer was in fact Forty-two - and so another, even bigger, computer had to be built to find out what the actual question was... Douglas Adams
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Bypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be. Douglas Adams
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The Hollywood process is like trying to grill a steak by having a succession of people coming into the room and breathing on it. Douglas Adams
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I am rarely happier than when spending entire day programming my computer to perform automatically a task that it would otherwise take me a good ten seconds to do by hand. Douglas Adams
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One of the problems of taking things apart and seeing how they work - supposing you're trying to find out how a cat works-you take that cat apart to see how it works, what you've got in your hands is a non-working cat. The cat wasn't a sort of clunky mechanism that was susceptible to our available tools of analysis. Douglas Adams
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Mr L Prosser was, as they say, only human. In other words he was a carbon-based life form descended from an ape. More specifically he was forty, fat and shabby and worked for the local council. Curiously enough, though he didn't know it, he was also a direct male-line descendant of Genghis Khan, though intervening generations and racial mixing had so juggled his genes that he had no discernible Mongoloid characteristics, and the only vestiges left in Mr L Prosser of his mighty ancestry were a pronounced stoutness about the tum and a predilection for little fur hats. Douglas Adams
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I only know as much about myself as my mind can work out under its current conditions. And its current conditions are not good. Douglas Adams
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What's up?" [asked Ford.] I don't know," said Marvin, "I've never been there. Douglas Adams
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The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy offers this definition of the word "Infinite". Infinite: Bigger than the biggest thing ever and then some. Much bigger than that in fact, really amazingly immense, a totally stunning size, "wow, that's big", time. Infinity is just so big that by comparison, bigness itself looks really titchy. Gigantic multiplied by colossal multiplied by staggeringly huge is the sort of concept we're trying to get across here. Douglas Adams
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It's reassuring to realize that everybody is as stupid as you are and that all we are doing when we are standing in the kitchen wondering what we came in here for is "woking. Douglas Adams
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If you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. Douglas Adams
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One of the problems, and it's one which is obviously going to get worse, is that all the people at the party are either the children or the grandchildren or the great-grandchildren of the people who wouldn't leave in the first place, and because of all the business about selective breeding and regressive genes and so on, it means that all the people now at the party are either absolutely fanatical partygoers, or gibbering idiots, or, more and more frequently, both. Douglas Adams
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Who is this god person anyway? Douglas Adams
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I was created to fulfill a function and I failed in it. I negated my own existence. Douglas Adams
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Bistromathics itself is simply a revolutionary new way of understanding the behavior of numbers. Just as Einstein observed that space was not an absolute but depended on the observer's movement in space, and that time was not an absolute, but depended on the observer's movement in time, so it is now realized that numbers are not absolute, but depend on the observer's movement in restaurants. Douglas Adams
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Even light, which travels so fast it takes most races thousands of years to realize that it travels at all, takes time to journey between the stars. Douglas Adams
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What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your own mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've certainly learned something about it yourself. The teacher usually learns more than the pupil. Isn't that true? Douglas Adams
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Only by counting could humans demonstrate their independence of computers. Douglas Adams
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The Somebody Else's Problem field is much simpler and more effective, and what's more can be run for over a hundred years on a single torch battery. This is because it relies on people's natural disposition not to see anything they don't want to, weren't expecting, or can't explain. Douglas Adams
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In fact there was only one species on the planet more intelligent than dolphins, and they spent a lot of their time in behavioural research laboratories running around inside wheels and conduction frighteningly elegant and subtle experiments on man. The fact that once again man completely misinterpreted this relationship was entirely according to these creatures' plans. Douglas Adams
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So what do we do if we get bitten by something deadly?' I asked. He looked at me as if I were stupid. 'You die, of course. That's what deadly means. Douglas Adams
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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is... Douglas Adams
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If I want to read something that's really giving me something serious and fundamental to think about, about the human condition, if you like, or what we're all doing here, or what's going on, then I'd rather read something by a scientist in the life sciences, like Richard Dawkins, for instance. Douglas Adams
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I tend to get very suspicious of anything that thinks it's art while it's being created. Douglas Adams
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For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much-the wheel, New York, wars and so on-while all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man-for precisely the same reasons. Douglas Adams
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I've come up with a set of rules that describe our reactions to technologies: 1. Anything that is in the world when you're born is normal and ordinary and is just a natural part of the way the world works. 2. Anything that's invented between when you're fifteen and thirty-five is new and exciting and revolutionary and you can probably get a career in it. 3. Anything invented after you're thirty-five is against the natural order of things. Douglas Adams
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Life," said Marvin dolefully, "loathe it or ignore it, you ca' like it. Douglas Adams
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In the beginning, the universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry, and is generally considered to have been a bad move. Douglas Adams
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Ok," he said, "I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you. Douglas Adams
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A suffusion of yellow. (A calculator's response to the question of any math problem with an answer larger than four.) Douglas Adams
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He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true. Douglas Adams
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There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now. ... What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind, it's only four light years away, you know. I'm sorry, but if you can't be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams. Douglas Adams
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You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass. Douglas Adams
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Radio did not kill books and television did not kill radio or movies - what television did kill was cinema newsreel. TV does it much better because it can deliver it instantly. Who wants last week's news? Douglas Adams
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I wrote an ad for Apple Computer: Macintosh - We might not get everything right, but at least we knew the century was going to end. Douglas Adams
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There is an art, or rather a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Douglas Adams
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And wow! Hey! What's this thing coming towards me very fast? Very very fast. So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding word like... ow... ound... round... ground! That's it! That's a good name ? ground! I wonder if it will be friends with me? Douglas Adams
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The Answer to the Great Question Of... Life, the Universe and Everything... [is] Forty-two. Douglas Adams
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The thing that used to worry him most was the fact that people always used to ask him what he was looking so worried about. Douglas Adams
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The mail on the doormat consisted of the usual things: a rude letter threatening to take away his American Express card, an invitation to apply for an American Express card, and a few bills of the more hysterical and unrealistic type. Douglas Adams
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If human beings don't keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months' consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don't keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. Douglas Adams
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If they do' keep exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. Douglas Adams
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I have detected disturbances in the wash.The wash?The space-time wash.Are we talking about some sort of Vogon laundromat, or what are we talking about?Eddies in the space-time continuum.Ah...is he. Is he.What?Er, who is Eddy, then, exactly? Douglas Adams
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If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner..." "Yeah?" "Please don't hesitate to get lost. Douglas Adams
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