Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678


I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams
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For as long as he could remember, he'd suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there. Douglas Adams
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Beppu (n.) The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page. Douglas Adams
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He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis' underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe. Douglas Adams
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It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. Douglas Adams
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What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day. Douglas Adams
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When you walk through the storm, hold your head high And don't be afraid of the dark! At the end of the storm is a golden sky And the sweet song of the lark. Walk on through the wind Walk on through the rain Though your dreams be tossed & blown Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart And you'll never walk alone! Douglas Adams
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The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. Douglas Adams
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Could be. I'm a pretty dangerous dude when I'm cornered." "Yeah," said the voice from under the table, "you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel. Douglas Adams
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There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you"ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now. ... What do you mean you"ve never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind, it's only four light years away, you know. I'm sorry, but if you ca' be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams. Douglas Adams
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I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be. Douglas Adams
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Words used carelessly, as if they did not matter in any serious way, often allowed otherwise well-guarded truths to seep through. Douglas Adams
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Why?' is always the most difficult question to answer. You know where you are when someone asks you 'What's the time?' or 'When was the battle of 1066?' or 'How do these seatbelts work that go tight when you slam the brakes on, Daddy?' The answers are easy and are, respectively, 'Seven-thirty in the evening,' 'Ten-fifteen in the morning,' and 'Don't ask stupid questions. Douglas Adams
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Science fiction that's just about people wandering around in space ships shooting each other with ray guns is very dull. I like it when it enables you to do fairly radical reinterpretations of human experience, just to show all the different interpretations that can be put on apparently fairly simple and commonplace events. That I find fun. Douglas Adams
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Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like meet the Dish of the Day?" ... "Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? Douglas Adams
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The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along. Douglas Adams
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A cup of tea would restore my normality. Douglas Adams
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And then, just when you think that you have experienced all the wonders that this world has to offer, you round a peak and suddenly think you're doing the whole thing over again, but this time on drugs. Douglas Adams
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Please relax," said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, "you are perfectly safe. Douglas Adams
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[The kakapo] is an extremely fat bird. A good-sized adult will weigh about six or seven pounds, and its wings are just about good for waggling a bit if it thinks it's about to trip over something - but flying is out of the question. Sadly, however, it seems that not only has the kakapo forgotten how to fly, but it has forgotten that it has forgotten how to fly. Apparently a seriously worried kakapo will sometimes run up a tree and jump out of it, whereupon it flies like a brick and lands in a graceless heap on the ground. Douglas Adams
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Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland) Douglas Adams
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It can be very dangerous to see things from somebody else's point of view without the proper training. Douglas Adams
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The Universe, as has been observed before, is an unsettlingly big place, a fact which for the sake of a quiet life most people tend to ignore. Douglas Adams
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The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood. Douglas Adams
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If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. Douglas Adams
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Assumptions are what we don't know we are making Douglas Adams
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The invention of the scientific method and science is, I'm sure we'll all agree, the most powerful intellectual idea, the most powerful framework for thinking and investigating and understanding and challenging the world around us that there is, and it rests on the premise that any idea is there to be attacked. If it withstands the attack then it lives to fight another day and if it doesn't withstand the attack then down it goes. Religion doesn't seem to work like that. Douglas Adams
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If God allows proof that he exists he robs people of faith and without faith what is God? Nothing. Douglas Adams
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Alltami (n.) The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps. Douglas Adams
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The only person for whom the house was in any way special was Arthur Dent, and that was only because it happened to be the one he lived in. Douglas Adams
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We live in strange times. We also live in strange places, each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universe are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Douglas Adams
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Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth. Douglas Adams
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Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason [Zaphood] had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did. Douglas Adams
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He turned slowly like a fridge door opening. Douglas Adams
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I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course-the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end. Douglas Adams
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In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship-he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still retain the romantic notion that he has simply popped out for a sandwich and will yet return to put in a solid afternoon's work. Strictly speaking, all editors since Lig Lury Jr., have therefore been designated acting editors, and Lig's desk is still preserved the way he left it, with the addition of a small sign that says LIG LURY, JR., EDITOR, MISSING, PRESUMED FED. Douglas Adams
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I don't say that I don't believe in God because that implies that there is a God for me not to believe in. Douglas Adams
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One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no "them" out there. It's just an awful lot of "us". Douglas Adams
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I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style Douglas Adams
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'These things will become clear to you,' said the old man gently, 'at least,' he added with slight doubt in his voice, 'clearer than they are at the moment.' Douglas Adams
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The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Douglas Adams
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Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the drug store, but that's just peanuts to space. Douglas Adams
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Time is bunk. Douglas Adams
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When you're cruising down the road in the fast lane and you lazily sail past a few hard-driving cars and are feeling pretty pleased with yourself and then accidently change down from fourth to first instead of third thus making your engine leap out of your hood in a rather ugly mess, it tends to throw you off stride in much the same way that this remark threw Ford Prefect off his. Douglas Adams
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Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see. Douglas Adams
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I teleported home last night with Ron and Sid and Meg Ron stole Meggy's heart away and I got Sidney's leg. Douglas Adams
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Rather than arriving five hours late and flustered, it would be better all around if he were to arrive five hours and a few extra minutes late, but triumphantly in command. Douglas Adams
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I am a private detective. I am paid to be inquisitive and presumptuous. Douglas Adams
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You cannot see what I see because you see what you see. You cannot know what I know because you know what you know. What I see and what I know cannot be added to what you see and what you know because they are not of the same kind. Neither can it replace what you see and what you know, because that would be to replace you yourself." "Hang on, can I write this down?" said Arthur, excitedly fumbling in his pocket for a pencil. Douglas Adams
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Did I do anything wrong today," he said, "or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice? Douglas Adams
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Exactly!" said Deep Thought. "So once you do know what the question actually is, you'll know what the answer means. Douglas Adams
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First we thought the PC was a calculator. Then we found out how to turn numbers into letters with ASCII - and we thought it was a typewriter. Then we discovered graphics, and we thought it was a television. With the World Wide Web, we've realized it's a brochure. Douglas Adams
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and we'll be saying a big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere ... and to everyone else out there, the secret is to bang the rocks together, guys. Douglas Adams
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R is a velocity of measure, defined as a reasonable speed of travel that is consistent with health, mental well-being, and not being more than, say, five minutes late. It is therefore clearly as almost infinite variable figure according to circumstances, since the first two factors vary not only with speed as an absolute, but also with awareness of the third factor. Unless handled with tranquility, this equation can result in considerable stress, ulcers, and even death. Douglas Adams
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There's always a moment when you start to fall out of love, whether it's with a person or an idea or a cause, even if it's one you only narrate to yourself years after the event: a tiny thing, a wrong word, a false note, which means that things can never be quite the same again. Douglas Adams
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Driving a Porsche in London is like bringing a Ming vase to a football game. Douglas Adams
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My own strategy is to find a car, or the nearest equivalent, which looks as if it knows where it's going and follow it. I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be. Douglas Adams
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Stomp stomp. Whirr. Pleased to be of service. Shut up. Thank you. Stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. Thank you for making a simple door very happy. Hope your diodes rot. Thank you. Have a nice day. Stomp stomp stomp stomp. Whirr. It is my pleasure to open for you... Zark off. ...and my satisfaction to close again with the knowledge of a job well done. I said zark off. Thank you for listening to this message. Douglas Adams
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My capacity for happiness," he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first Douglas Adams
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I begged her, 'Please don't leave me stranded in the middle of some primitive zarking forest with no medical help and a head injury. I could be in serious trouble and so could she.'" "What did she say?" "She hit me on the head with the rock again," Ford responded curtly. "I think i can confirm that was my daughter." "Sweet kid." "You have to get to know her," said Arthur. "She eases up, does she?" "No, but you get a better sense of when to duck. Douglas Adams
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To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. Douglas Adams
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I think we have different value systems." -Arthur "Well mine's better." -Ford Douglas Adams
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The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79. Douglas Adams
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The future of computer power is pure simplicity. Douglas Adams
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But while nature has considerable resilience, there is a limit to how far that resilience can be stretched. No one knows how close to the limit we are getting. The darker it gets, the faster we're driving Douglas Adams
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The story goes that I first had the idea for The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck. Douglas Adams
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A nerd is someone who uses a telephone to talk to other people about telephones. Douglas Adams
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He spent a lot of time flying. He learnt to communicate with birds and discovered that their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with wind speed, wing spans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Unfortunately, he discovered, once you have learnt birdspeak you quickly come to realize that the air is full of it the whole time, just inane bird chatter. There is no getting away from it. Douglas Adams
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A beach house isn't just real estate. It's a state of mind. Douglas Adams
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... The truth of the matter is, that most English people don't know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants. Douglas Adams
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