Douglas Adams Quotes & Wallpapers

Douglas Adams
Total Quotes: 678

I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be. Douglas Adams

For as long as he could remember, he'd suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there. Douglas Adams

Beppu (n.) The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page. Douglas Adams

He would have felt safe if alongside the Dentrassis' underwear, the piles of Sqornshellous mattresses and the man from Betelgeuse holding up a small yellow fish and offering to put it in his ear he had been able to see just a small packet of cornflakes. But he couldn't, and he didn't feel safe. Douglas Adams

It's not the fall that kills you; it's the sudden stop at the end. Douglas Adams

What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day. Douglas Adams

When you walk through the storm, hold your head high And don't be afraid of the dark! At the end of the storm is a golden sky And the sweet song of the lark. Walk on through the wind Walk on through the rain Though your dreams be tossed & blown Walk on, walk on, with hope in your heart And you'll never walk alone! Douglas Adams

The world is a thing of utter inordinate complexity and richness and strangeness that is absolutely awesome. Douglas Adams

Could be. I'm a pretty dangerous dude when I'm cornered." "Yeah," said the voice from under the table, "you go to pieces so fast people get hit by the shrapnel. Douglas Adams

There's no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you"ve had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it's far too late to start making a fuss about it now. ... What do you mean you"ve never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven's sake, mankind, it's only four light years away, you know. I'm sorry, but if you ca' be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that's your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams. Douglas Adams

The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as we go along. Douglas Adams

A cup of tea would restore my normality. Douglas Adams

And then, just when you think that you have experienced all the wonders that this world has to offer, you round a peak and suddenly think you're doing the whole thing over again, but this time on drugs. Douglas Adams

Please relax," said the voice pleasantly, like a stewardess in an airliner with only one wing and two engines one of which is on fire, "you are perfectly safe. Douglas Adams

[The kakapo] is an extremely fat bird. A good-sized adult will weigh about six or seven pounds, and its wings are just about good for waggling a bit if it thinks it's about to trip over something - but flying is out of the question. Sadly, however, it seems that not only has the kakapo forgotten how to fly, but it has forgotten that it has forgotten how to fly. Apparently a seriously worried kakapo will sometimes run up a tree and jump out of it, whereupon it flies like a brick and lands in a graceless heap on the ground. Douglas Adams

The single raindrop never feels responsible for the flood. Douglas Adams

If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language. Douglas Adams

Assumptions are what we don't know we are making Douglas Adams

Why?' is always the most difficult question to answer. You know where you are when someone asks you 'What's the time?' or 'When was the battle of 1066?' or 'How do these seatbelts work that go tight when you slam the brakes on, Daddy?' The answers are easy and are, respectively, 'Seven-thirty in the evening,' 'Ten-fifteen in the morning,' and 'Don't ask stupid questions. Douglas Adams

Science fiction that's just about people wandering around in space ships shooting each other with ray guns is very dull. I like it when it enables you to do fairly radical reinterpretations of human experience, just to show all the different interpretations that can be put on apparently fairly simple and commonplace events. That I find fun. Douglas Adams

Would you like to see the menu?" he said, "or would you like meet the Dish of the Day?" ... "Good evening," it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? Douglas Adams

I seldom end up where I wanted to go, but almost always end up where I need to be. Douglas Adams

It can be very dangerous to see things from somebody else's point of view without the proper training. Douglas Adams

The Universe, as has been observed before, is an unsettlingly big place, a fact which for the sake of a quiet life most people tend to ignore. Douglas Adams

Words used carelessly, as if they did not matter in any serious way, often allowed otherwise well-guarded truths to seep through. Douglas Adams

Can't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland) Douglas Adams

The invention of the scientific method and science is, I'm sure we'll all agree, the most powerful intellectual idea, the most powerful framework for thinking and investigating and understanding and challenging the world around us that there is, and it rests on the premise that any idea is there to be attacked. If it withstands the attack then it lives to fight another day and if it doesn't withstand the attack then down it goes. Religion doesn't seem to work like that. Douglas Adams

If God allows proof that he exists he robs people of faith and without faith what is God? Nothing. Douglas Adams

Alltami (n.) The ancient art of being able to balance the hot and cold shower taps. Douglas Adams

The only person for whom the house was in any way special was Arthur Dent, and that was only because it happened to be the one he lived in. Douglas Adams

We live in strange times. We also live in strange places, each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universe are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Douglas Adams

Arthur felt happy. He was terribly pleased that the day was for once working out so much according to plan. Only twenty minutes ago he had decided he would go mad, and now here he was already chasing a Chesterfield sofa across the fields of prehistoric Earth. Douglas Adams

Trillian had come to suspect that the main reason [Zaphood] had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did. Douglas Adams

He turned slowly like a fridge door opening. Douglas Adams

I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course-the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end. Douglas Adams

In fact, Lig never formally resigned his editorship-he merely left his office late one morning, and has never returned since. Though well over a century has now passed, many members of the Guide staff still retain the romantic notion that he has simply popped out for a sandwich and will yet return to put in a solid afternoon's work. Strictly speaking, all editors since Lig Lury Jr., have therefore been designated acting editors, and Lig's desk is still preserved the way he left it, with the addition of a small sign that says LIG LURY, JR., EDITOR, MISSING, PRESUMED FED. Douglas Adams

I don't say that I don't believe in God because that implies that there is a God for me not to believe in. Douglas Adams

One of the most important things you learn from the internet is that there is no "them" out there. It's just an awful lot of "us". Douglas Adams

I seem to be having tremendous difficulty with my life-style Douglas Adams

'These things will become clear to you,' said the old man gently, 'at least,' he added with slight doubt in his voice, 'clearer than they are at the moment.' Douglas Adams

My capacity for happiness," he added, "you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first Douglas Adams

I begged her, 'Please don't leave me stranded in the middle of some primitive zarking forest with no medical help and a head injury. I could be in serious trouble and so could she.'" "What did she say?" "She hit me on the head with the rock again," Ford responded curtly. "I think i can confirm that was my daughter." "Sweet kid." "You have to get to know her," said Arthur. "She eases up, does she?" "No, but you get a better sense of when to duck. Douglas Adams

To summarize the summary of the summary: people are a problem. Douglas Adams

I think we have different value systems." -Arthur "Well mine's better." -Ford Douglas Adams

The future of computer power is pure simplicity. Douglas Adams

But while nature has considerable resilience, there is a limit to how far that resilience can be stretched. No one knows how close to the limit we are getting. The darker it gets, the faster we're driving Douglas Adams

The story goes that I first had the idea for The Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy while lying drunk in a field in Innsbruck. Douglas Adams

A nerd is someone who uses a telephone to talk to other people about telephones. Douglas Adams

He spent a lot of time flying. He learnt to communicate with birds and discovered that their conversation was fantastically boring. It was all to do with wind speed, wing spans, power-to-weight ratios and a fair bit about berries. Unfortunately, he discovered, once you have learnt birdspeak you quickly come to realize that the air is full of it the whole time, just inane bird chatter. There is no getting away from it. Douglas Adams

A beach house isn't just real estate. It's a state of mind. Douglas Adams

... The truth of the matter is, that most English people don't know how to make tea anymore either, and most people drink cheap instant coffee instead, which is a pity, and gives Americans the impression that the English are just generally clueless about hot stimulants. Douglas Adams

Well the hours are good...' ... 'but now you come to mention it, most of the actual minutes are pretty lousy. Douglas Adams

The only thing nicer than a phone that didn't ring all the time (or indeed at all) was six phones that didn't ring all the time (or indeed at all). Douglas Adams

We are not an endangered species ourselves yet, but this is not for lack of trying. Douglas Adams

How do you know you're having fun if there's no one watching you have it? Douglas Adams

As a result of all this hardship, dirt, thirst, and wombats, you would expect Australians to be a dour lot. Instead, they are genial, jolly, cheerful, and always willing to share a kind word with a stranger, unless they are an American. Douglas Adams

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression "As pretty as an airport." Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort. This ugliness arises because airports are full of people who are tired, cross, and have just discovered that their luggage has landed in Murmansk (Murmansk airport is the only exception of this otherwise infallible rule), and architects have on the whole tried to reflect this in their designs. Douglas Adams

The more I think about our species the more I think we just do stuff and make up explanations later when asked. But it's not true that I would rather write than read. I would rather read than write. To be honest I would rather hang upside down in a bucket than write. Douglas Adams

The teacher usually learns more than the pupils. Isn't that true? "It would be hard to learn much less than my pupils," came a low growl from somewhere on the table, "without undergoing a pre-frontal lobotomy." Douglas Adams

One of the major problems encountered in time travel is not that of accidentally becoming your own father or mother. There is no problem involved in becoming your own father or mother that a broadminded and well-adjusted family can't cope with. Douglas Adams

We live in strange times. We also live in strange places: each in a universe of our own. The people with whom we populate our universes are the shadows of whole other universes intersecting with our own. Being able to glance out into this bewildering complexity of infinite recursion and say things like, 'Oh, hi, Ed! Nice tan. How's Carol?' involves a great deal of filtering skill for which all conscious entities have eventually to develop a capacity in order to protect themselves from the contemplation of the chaos through which they seethe and tumble. Douglas Adams

Nothing travels faster than light, with the possible exception of bad news, which follows its own rules. Douglas Adams

The first ten million years were the worst. And the second ten million, they were the worst too. The third ten million I didn't enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline. Douglas Adams

What god would be hanging around Terminal Two of Heathrow Airport trying to catch the 15.37 flight to Oslo? Douglas Adams

I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by. Douglas Adams

Stotting is jumping upward with all four legs simultaneously. My advice: do not die until you've seen a large black poodle stotting in the snow. Douglas Adams

The hotel shop only had two decent books, and I'd written both of them. Douglas Adams

It was none the less a perfectly ordinary horse, such as convergent evolution has produced in many of the places that life is to be found. They have always understood a great deal more than they let on. It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion about them. Douglas Adams

Yes, I think I use the term radical rather loosely, just for emphasis. If you describe yourself as atheist some people will say, Don't you mean agnostic? I have to reply that I really do mean atheist, I really do not believe that there is a god; in fact, I am convinced that there is not a god (a subtle difference). I see not a shred of evidence to suggest that there is one...etc., etc. It's easier to say that I am a radical atheist, just to signal that I really mean it, have thought about it a great deal and that it's an opinion I hold seriously. Douglas Adams

Did I do anything wrong today," he said, "or has the world always been like this and I've been too wrapped up in myself to notice? Douglas Adams

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