Caitlin Moran Quotes & Wallpapers

Caitlin Moran
Total Quotes: 189


When I hear women talking about how their wedding is going to be/was the best day of their life, I can't help but think, You just haven't taken enough MDMA in a field at 3 a.m., love. Caitlin Moran

If I'm going to spunk 500 on a pair of designer shoes, it's going to be a pair that I can a) dance to Bad Romance in and b) will allow me to run away from a murderer, should one suddenly decide to give chase. That's the minimum I ask from my footwear. To be able to dance in it, and for it not to get me murdered. Caitlin Moran

I wish I could learn that just three drinks is enough, but I have not learned that. Caitlin Moran

Twitter means all my friends are in my computer. All my ideas are in my computer. I can do whatever I want in there; I'm kind of... bionic. Caitlin Moran

Simultaneously, my two biggest heroes are Susan Sontag and Morticia Addams from 'The Addams Family.' Caitlin Moran

Benedict Cumberbatch is very beautiful. Caitlin Moran

The word 'spinster' tells you everything you need to know about our attitude of women who choose not to marry. Caitlin Moran

I say this in the spirit of feminist encouragement, but I think I'm pretty hot. I've got all the facial features, facing the right way, at the right end, and you can always paint over the bad bits with makeup. Caitlin Moran

I am not good at small talk. I will hide in a cupboard to avoid chitty-chat. Caitlin Moran

The problem with battling yourself is that even if you win, you lose. Caitlin Moran

I told my girls, 'Look at Rihanna: She's one of the biggest pop stars in the world. She's really famous, really powerful, really rich. Yet in every single video she can only wear panties. Poor Rhianna! We'll know when she is properly powerful and successful when we see her in a lovely cardigan.' Caitlin Moran

All the things that are taboo are the things that are not normal, and all the things that are not normal are the things that are exclusively about physically being a woman. Caitlin Moran

I always give three pieces of advice to all the teenage girls when I do my talks: long country walks - it's important to get some fresh air in your lungs, and be in contact with your body; masturbation - it takes the edge off, it'll get you through; and the revolution - believing in changing the world. Caitlin Moran

When you talk to a young teenage girl, they're just full of self-loathing. The reason they feel self-loathing is they don't feel normal. It is a world that has not been built for them. It's been built for men, and that's why they feel bad. Caitlin Moran

And every book, you find, has its own social group-friends of its own it wants to introduce you to, like a party in the library that need never, ever end. Caitlin Moran

If you eat enough books, you start pooping out words. Caitlin Moran

We must recall the most important of humanity guidelines: Be polite. Being polite is possibly the greatest daily contribution everyone can make to life on Earth. Caitlin Moran

You should write, write, write every day, and learn to edit and pare it right back so you're proud of every sentence, and each one is either being useful or beautiful, but hopefully both. Caitlin Moran

I don't want children anyway,' Caz says. 'So I'm getting nothing out of this whatsoever. I want my entire reproductive system taken out, and replaced with spare lungs, for when I start smoking. I want that option. This is pointless. Caitlin Moran

I feel in my bones that Lady Gaga is a true strident feminist and good for my soul - but how do I square this with the fact that she's constantly walking around in her bra and pants, even at, like, airports and stuff, where even nudists wear a fleece and linen drawstring trousers? Caitlin Moran

I cannot understand antiabortion arguments that center on the sanctity of life. As a species, we"ve fairly comprehensively demonstrated that we do' believe in the sanctity of life. The shrugging acceptance of war, famine, epidemic, pain, and lifelong, grinding poverty show us that, whatever we tell ourselves, we"ve made only the most feeble of efforts to really treat human life as sacred. Caitlin Moran

Over-eating is the addiction choice of carers, and that's why it's come to be regarded as the lowest-ranking of all the addictions. Caitlin Moran

I wrote my first book at eight, all of four pages. At 10, I did a 40-page story. At 12, I wrote two stage plays. Caitlin Moran

Feminism, as it stands, well... stands. It has ground to a halt. Caitlin Moran

I like a little bit of revolution. I think it's a very good hobby for a young woman. Better than squash. Caitlin Moran

Most women I know love the idea of fashion, but the practicalities that go with it are just distressing. Caitlin Moran

My parents were hippies. I'm the eldest of eight children. Caitlin Moran

It used to be if you wanted something nice to wear, you would sew it yourself for your body type. Women before the 20th century didn't have this problem. Now, it seems we're all squeezed into random designs. They're designed for no one. Caitlin Moran

Every woman who chooses - joyfully, thoughtfully, calmly, of their own free will and desire - not to have a child does womankind a massive favour in the long term. Caitlin Moran

In the early '90s, it was grunge; everybody was fully clothed. Alanis Morissette was one of the biggest artists in the world, never wore makeup, wearing Doc Marten boots, and then the Spice Girls turn up, and suddenly it all looks a bit burlesque; suddenly they're the biggest band in the world. Caitlin Moran

Flyaway, problem hair is the enemy of feminism, and was probably invented by the Man to crush Susan Sontag. Caitlin Moran

I can't think of anything I hate more than a former punk - they are the most self-righteous people in the world. Caitlin Moran

Mental health is seen as a massive drag to have to write about - worthy, dull. Something you should 'have' to read / write about. Caitlin Moran

The unwearable of high heels is self-evidently all around us, coming to a head at the average wedding reception, a uniformly high-heeled occasion. In our minds, we see it as a serene and elegant gathering of women in their finest, one of the big chances of the year to pretend you're at the Oscars, in your stilettos. In actuality of course, ... there are women staggering around in the unaccustomed vertical, foot-flesh spilling over tight, unkind satin. Caitlin Moran

I am in love, and he's the one. Obviously I thought the one before him was the one and the one before that was the one, too. Frankly, I'm so much into the idea of being in love that anyone out of about 3 million could be the one. But no, this one now is definitely the one, the very one. Caitlin Moran

A library in the middle of a community is a cross between an emergency exit, a life-raft and a festival. They are cathedrals of the mind; hospitals of the soul; theme parks of the imagination. On a cold rainy island, they are the only sheltered public spaces where you are not a consumer, but a citizen instead Caitlin Moran

If you do it properly, life is art, really. Caitlin Moran

Batman does' want a baby in order to feel he's "done everything". He's just saved Gotham again! If this means that Batman must be a feminist role model above, say, Nicola Horlick, then so be it. Caitlin Moran

I'm going to lie this one right on the line, right here, right now: I'm pro big pants. Strident feminism NEEDS big pants. Really big. I'm currently wearing a pair that could have been used as a fire blanket to put out the Great Fire of London at any point during the first 48 hours or so. They extend from the top of my thigh to my belly button, and effectively double up as a second property that I can escape to at weekends. If I were going to run for parliament, it would be solely on a platform of "Get Women In Massive Grundie"s". Caitlin Moran

Heaven. The biggest waste of our time we ever invented, outside jigsaws. Caitlin Moran

...there is the sheer emotional, intellectual, physical, chemical pleasure of your children. The honest truth is that the world holds no greater gratification than lying in bed with your children, putting your leg on top of them in a semi-crushing manner, while saying sternly, "You are a poo. Caitlin Moran

For throughout history, you can read the stories of women who - against all the odds - got being a woman right, but ended up being compromised, unhappy, hobbled or ruined, because all around them, society was still wrong. Show a girl a pioneering hero - Sylvia Plath, Dorothy Parker, Frida Kahlo, Cleopatra, Boudicca, Joan of Arc - and you also, more often than not, show a girl a woman who was eventually crushed. Caitlin Moran

When Rudy Giuliani became mayor of New York in 1993, his belief in the 'Broken Windows' theory led him to implement the 'Zero Tolerance' crime policy. Crime dropped dramatically, significantly, and continued to for the next ten years. Personally, I feel the time has come for women to introduce their own Zero Tolerance policy on the Broken Windows issues in our lives - I want a Zero Tolerance policy on 'All The Patriarchal Bullshit'. Caitlin Moran

The people around you are mirrors, I think. You see yourself reflected in their eyes. If the mirror is true, and smooth, you see your true self. That's how you learn who you are. Caitlin Moran

It's always sunny above the clouds. Always. Every day on earth - every day I have ever had - was secretly sunny, after all. Caitlin Moran

The revolution doesn't always look perfect. Caitlin Moran

I can't live in a world where there are only, like, four kinds of women. Or where every woman is obsessed with cake. The very least I ask is that we have one female character in the world who likes savory things! I don't have any role models who like cheese! Caitlin Moran

I don't think there should be anything that women are embarrassed to talk about in the 21st century, because for the last 100,000 years, men have said everything that's on their minds and described everything they have done. Caitlin Moran

I think there are brilliant jokes to be made about abortion, and we should be able to talk about this in the way that we make jokes about death - you should be able to make jokes about everything. Caitlin Moran

I do not... look very feminine. Diana, Princess of Wales is feminine... I am... femi-none. Caitlin Moran

Watching 'Girls' has just given me renewed courage. Caitlin Moran

As far as I'm concerned, you're a feminist by default if you're born in the Western world right now. Caitlin Moran

In the U.K., we have a paper called 'The Daily Mail,' which is quite misogynist. And every day, it just writes pieces about: 'Women, you're going to die now! Women, here's shoes that give you cancer! Women, just hate yourselves!' Caitlin Moran

My core belief is that if you're complaining about something for more than three minutes, two minutes ago you should have done something about it. Caitlin Moran

When I learned that flour pound for pound has as many calories as sugar, and that when eating pasta you're basically eating cake, I was size 23, and my neck was restricting my breathing, and so I got on a microbiotic diet and got myself an exercise bike. Caitlin Moran

You can crush any woman by suggesting that she's fat, not even saying the word 'fat' but just suggesting she's fat. Caitlin Moran

When a woman says, 'I have nothing to wear!', what she really means is, 'There's nothing here for who I'm supposed to be today. Caitlin Moran

But nearly every woman I know has a roughly similar story - in fact, dozens of them: stories about being obsessed with a celebrity, work colleague or someone they vaguely knew for years; living in a parallel world in their head; conjuring up endless plots and scenarios for this thing that never actually happened. Caitlin Moran

You think it doesn't really matter if you screw up this time around because you can just sort it all out in paradise Caitlin Moran

I could have written a misery memoir and instead I tried to make it funny. I never complained. Caitlin Moran

I've got more friends than I've ever had in my life at the age of 39 - although given that I didn't have any friends until the age of 27, it doesn't say much - because I found the internet. Caitlin Moran

I read something once that when you're online, your inhibitions are lowered to the state where you've had three drinks. Once you basically know that the entire internet is slightly drunk, it all makes a lot more sense, and you deport yourself accordingly. Caitlin Moran

The problem that we have is thinking there's only one kind of feminist, and that she's politically correct and right on at all times, wears flat shoes, doesn't wear makeup, probably doesn't have sex, is very angry, wears dungarees, is a vegetarian. Caitlin Moran

You can always tell when a woman is with the wrong man, because she has so much to say about the fact that nothing's happening. When women find the right person, on the other hand, they just... disappear for six months, then resurface, eyes shiny, and usually about six pounds heavier. Caitlin Moran

When a woman says, "I have nothing to wear!", what she really means is, "There's nothing here for who I'm supposed to be today. Caitlin Moran

I am fully aware of what the word 'fat' means ... It's a swear word. It's a weapon. It's a sociological subspecies. It's an accusation, dismissal, and rejection. Caitlin Moran

A male feminist is one of the most glorious end-products of evolution. Caitlin Moran

The people around you are mirrors, I think. You see yourself reflected in their eyes. If the mirror is true, and smooth, you see your true self. That's how you learn who you are. Caitlin Moran

I'm going to lie this one right on the line, right here, right now: I'm pro big pants. Strident feminism NEEDS big pants. Really big. I'm currently wearing a pair that could have been used as a fire blanket to put out the Great Fire of London at any point during the first 48 hours or so. They extend from the top of my thigh to my belly button, and effectively double up as a second property that I can escape to at weekends. If I were going to run for parliament, it would be solely on a platform of 'Get Women In Massive Grundie's'. Caitlin Moran

But as the years went on, I realised that what I really want to be, all told, is a human. Just a productive, honest, courteously treated human. Caitlin Moran



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