Bill Cosby Quotes & Wallpapers

Bill Cosby
Total Quotes: 399


You can turn painful situations around through laughter. If you can find humor in anything, even poverty, you can survive it. Bill Cosby
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Meadowlark and I share a common vision of bringing joy and laughter to others. Bill Cosby
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We parents ask dumb questions, therefore we get dumb answers. Bill Cosby
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The weatherman is always right. It's just his timing that's off. Bill Cosby
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Grandparents are God's gifts to children. Bill Cosby
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You also notice that the right side of your face feels like it's sliding off of your skull. And your bottom lip is in your lap! Bill Cosby
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...among the guitarists, Wes Montgomery is fantastic. He's always good to let you know what the art form is all about. It's the same still life that everybody is painting, but in comes Wes Montgomery, and it's right there! Bill Cosby
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If you're a parent, the five worst words you can say to your children are, "When I was your age ..." You were never their age. You were older in the womb. Bill Cosby
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All Children Have Brain Damage! Bill Cosby
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Don't let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart. Bill Cosby
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I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos, Bill Cosby
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I didn't know how serious it is to a female that you lift the lid. Bill Cosby
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I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore, unless I bring something to read." Bill Cosby
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A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz. Bill Cosby
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People will frighten you about a graduation.... They use words you don't hear often: And we wish you Godspeed. It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices. Bill Cosby
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There are certain times of the day when you need a balance - that is, your protein and your carbs. I'm a Barry Sears man. I believe that anything green is a carb, and I need 2:1. Two of the carbs to one of the protein. Bill Cosby
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I am proud to be an American. Because an American can eat anything on the face of this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread. Bill Cosby
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When you become senile, you won't know it. Bill Cosby
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When you don't understand something, you often laugh. Bill Cosby
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As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.' Bill Cosby
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I'm not the healthiest, but I am healthy. I'm healthy to the point where there are things that I have to eat that I don't want to eat, but I eat it because I'm enjoying staying alive. Bill Cosby
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If you watch kids looking at something on television, even something that's produced for them and is supposed to be funny, what you'll notice is that they don't laugh. Bill Cosby
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The problems with kids having short attention spans is driven by entertainment, reset buttons on games, games having to do with getting somewhere and heads blowing up. Everything is 'cut to the chase, cut to the chase.' Bill Cosby
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I was put in remedial everything. Bill Cosby
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I got into Temple University on a track scholarship. Bill Cosby
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I've said all along I've never competed with 'The Simpsons.' Not in my own mind. Bill Cosby
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Not many jobs are available for single women who just want to have babies. Bill Cosby
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People have all kinds of approaches when they come up to me. Some of them are so nervous: 'You know, Mr. Cosby, you are my biggest fan!' I am? Some of them even claim that I raised them. Bill Cosby
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'Don't worry about senility', my grandfather used to say. Bill Cosby
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Calculus is one course you can come with to your parents and say, I am dropping it. And they'll understand. Bill Cosby
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You can't be everything to everyone Bill Cosby
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Romance is a different word than sexual contact. Bill Cosby
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When you're a father you censor yourself. You get just as angry with a child but you don't want to say, "What the filth and foul and I'll filth and foul, filth and foul and, yeah, ya filth and foul face, and I'll filth and foul, foul, filth!" You don't want to say that to a child so you censor yourself and you sound like an idiot: "What the... Get your... I'll put a... Get out of my face!" Bill Cosby
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When ask you a question, you try and answer, they tell you to shut up! Day and night, night and day, work my fingers to the bone, for what? I don't... SHUT UP! And when I ask you a question, you keep your trap shut! Think I'm talking to hear myself talk? ANSWER ME! Bill Cosby
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I tell my kids, This is not the same person I grew up with. You are looking at an old woman who is trying to get into Heaven. Bill Cosby
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What best defines a child is the total inability to receive information from anything not plugged in. Bill Cosby
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In spite of what Thomas Jefferson wrote, all men may be created equal, but not to all women. Bill Cosby
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You go and you buy a lottery ticket. You've got just as much chance of getting struck by lightning as you do of winning the lottery. Bill Cosby
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It is a warning, Godspeed. It means you are no longer welcome here at these prices. Bill Cosby
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i was'nt always black. there was this freckel that just grew and grew... Bill Cosby
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Some authority on parenting once said, "Hold them very close and then let them go." This is the hardest truth for a father to learn: that his children are continuously growing up and moving away from him (until, of course, they move back in). Bill Cosby
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You can teach an old dog new tricks. You just don't want to see the dog doing them. Bill Cosby
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There are no absolutes in raising children. In any stressful situation, fathering is always a roll of the dice. The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more joys and rewards. Bill Cosby
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There are two sides to every story, and sometimes three, four, and five. Bill Cosby
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The absolute truth is that there is no power in celebrity. Bill Cosby
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When my son was murdered, people asked me how I felt about God and what had happened to my son. I said, 'No, you can't go there. You have to understand that there is a devil, and he works 24/7. Whoever murdered our son was with the devil.' Bill Cosby
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Nothing I've ever done has given me more joys and rewards than being a father to my children. Bill Cosby
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For college seniors there should be a week of being allowed to cry. Just break down and cry because you are scared and don't know what's next. Bill Cosby
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Parents are people who yell and they yell and they yell and they yell. And you already have the point... and they're still yelling. Bill Cosby
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The most important educational vehicle in all life is a parent figure. Bill Cosby
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Too many people are waiting for Jesus to come along and cut your grass. And Jesus isn't going to come along and cut your grass. Bill Cosby
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Most of us learn to read by looking at each word in a sentence - one at a time. Bill Cosby
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With my wife Camille's help, I took to social networking. I'm working with the computers. Bill Cosby
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Racial humor was about 35% of my act when I first started. But I realized that it was a crutch. What brought it home was when another comedian said to me, 'If you changed color tomorrow, you wouldn't have any material.' He meant it as a put-down, but I took it as a challenge. Bill Cosby
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'I Spy' represents the absence of the tension of the black man or black woman or anyone of that color walking in, so that the white racist person can become entertaining to a viewer. Bill Cosby
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Tons of comedians have said, 'I grew up learning from Bill Cosby. He's great.' But that respect doesn't mean much to the young people. They like their ginger ale with hot sauce. Bill Cosby
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Things are old. Parts are old. I'm talking about 'us' parts. AARP-parts. Some of us were born with stronger parts than others. Bill Cosby
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If you can find humour in anything, you can survive it Bill Cosby
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My children love my mother, and I tell my children, that is not the same woman I grew up with...That is an old woman trying to get into heaven now. Bill Cosby
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Never say [to younger people] "that was before your time," because the last full moon was before their time! Bill Cosby
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When the child is twelve, your wife buys her a splendidly silly article of clothing called a training bra. To train what? I never had a training jock. And believe me, when I played football, I could have used a training jock more than any twelve-year-old needs a training bra. Bill Cosby
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Women don't want to hear what you think. Women want to hear what they think - in a deeper voice. Bill Cosby
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I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences. Bill Cosby
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If you have no faith, you've lost your battle. Bill Cosby
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A person with no children says, "Well I just love children," and you say "Why?" and they say, "Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth." That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain. Bill Cosby
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The only thing that you can get into without a lot of trouble is a lot of trouble. Bill Cosby
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We see a successful, elegant man now, but as a child, an adolescent, his life was not a done deal. Sidney respected his mistakes. When failure came, he never said, This is too difficult, too hard, he had the resiliency to try again. His life is somewhere between astounding and unbelievable. Bill Cosby
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A father has to do everything in his power to keep a tight ship, even though he knows the crew would like to send him away in a dinghy. Bill Cosby
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But if that's what you want to be, that's what you will be - as long as you study. Bill Cosby
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My grandpa didn't believe in hugging and kissing, or saying I love you. His love had to do with the way he treated you. When he said, We're going here, we're going there, he was telling me about life. That was his love for me. My love for him was listening to what he said, keeping out of trouble, doing right, being fair. Bill Cosby
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