Bill Cosby Quotes & Wallpapers

Bill Cosby
Total Quotes: 411


If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. Bill Cosby

Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire. Bill Cosby

I'm one of those who cut off seeing people after a certain time, when the weight is gone and they sound like the dementia is very advanced - I don't want to see that. I don't even go in to look at the body. That's not my last memory. Bill Cosby

If I read the small print, and I see that what I love to taste has pantonaponamene or fake smeinlioaimine, then I have to hide in my room when I eat it. I'm still gonna eat it, it's just gonna be 'Don't come in here!' Bill Cosby

I want to get violence - I want schools to start from K through 12 to just every day have teachers understand that they don't want to talk about anything that is violent, and they want to explain to the children how bad violence is and how behavior - violent behavior, is something that they really should not practice and think about. Bill Cosby

God has not made anything that I know of that pays so much attention to who their father and mother is as us. Bill Cosby

In September of 1960, I was blessed - and I'm not saying blessed in the everyday religious way - when Temple University accepted me after scoring 500 on the SAT. I was 23 years old, and they put me in remedial. I was the happiest remedial person on earth. Bill Cosby

My eleven year old daughter mopes around the house all day waiting for her breasts to grow. Bill Cosby

Any husband who says, "My wife and I are completely equal partners," is talking about either a law firm or a hand of bridge. Bill Cosby

Let me say this: I only expect the black media to uphold the standards of excellence in journalism and when you do that, you have to go in with a neutral mind. Bill Cosby

Every father says the same thing: "Where's your mother?" Bill Cosby

I don't wear no condom and I don't plan for no kids. Bill Cosby

We are the only animals that let our kids come back home. Bill Cosby

You people are not prepared. You are well educated and you look cute, but that's not going to cut it. Bill Cosby

People will frighten you about a graduation....They use words you don't hear often... Bill Cosby

People should fact check. People should' have to go through that and should' answer to innuendos. Bill Cosby

The wisest married men give in early. They get in touch with the wife side of themselves, and that's when they stop arguing. Bill Cosby

You'll have many, many friends, but if your relationship with your mate is one hundred per cent of your heart, you'll never need a friend. Bill Cosby

All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right Bill Cosby

Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. Bill Cosby

Suddenly, this romantic agony was enriched by a less romantic one: I had to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, I couldn't let her know about this urge, for great lovers never did such things. The answer to "Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?" was not "In the men's room, Julie. Bill Cosby

Zip zop wop boopity bop. Bill Cosby

People should fact check. People shouldn't have to go through that and shouldn't answer to innuendos. Bill Cosby

Children today know more about sex than I or my father did. Bill Cosby

What's your name again? That's right. I'm so glad you know your name. Bill Cosby

In my old neighborhood, a boy stopped playing when he began to lose his pulse. And then he became the referee. Bill Cosby

This happened to the people. The Constitution says of the people, by the people, for the people... but the people who got the office, got into office and forgot about the people. Bill Cosby

The beautiful thing about older people is their ability to cut the fat off of conversation. When they talk, they don't go on forever and ever. They say what they have to say, and that's it. That was my grand dad. Some of the things he said stunned me, but his words were logical. I'll never forget them. Bill Cosby

The secret of success is to be like a duck, Smooth and unruffled on top, But paddling furiously underneath. Bill Cosby

As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my [younger] brother... Russel, who taught me what was meant by survival of the fittest. Bill Cosby

If a white man falls off a chair drunk, it's just a drunk. If a Negro does, it's the whole damn Negro race. Bill Cosby

I am not interested in statistics that tell me things are not as bad as they seem. Things are horrible. I have met people crying about what is happening, but there is no solution yet. Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening. I don't care what the statistics say. Bill Cosby

"And tired" always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, "I am just sick..." And I said, "And tired." I don't remember anything after that. Bill Cosby

My father would pass gas and then blame it on imaginary animals. Bill Cosby

Nobody ever says, 'Can I have your beets? Bill Cosby

In America ... the seven ages of man have become preschooler, Pepsi generation, baby boomer, mid-lifer, empty-nester, senior citizen, and organ donor. Bill Cosby

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody. Bill Cosby

The main goal of the future is to stop violence. The world is addicted to it. Bill Cosby

I'm not going out and hitting a 95-mph fastball where I can't see the stitches. I'm not on a professional football team looking to tackle a fullback who is built like solid wood. I'm a thinking person, and I've been blessed with the ability to see some things and talk about them in a way that registers in a humorous and funny way. Bill Cosby

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. Bill Cosby

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business in which no cumulative wisdom is gained: each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made. Bill Cosby

The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet. Bill Cosby

That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked. Bill Cosby

When you introduce competition into the public school system, most studies show that schools start to do better when they are competing for students. Bill Cosby

I wasn't always black... there was this freckle, and it got bigger and bigger. Bill Cosby

When you carry a gun, you mean to harm somebody, kill somebody. Bill Cosby

There is no labor a person does that is undignified; if they do it right. Bill Cosby

I am certainly not an authority on love because there are no authorities on love, just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't. Bill Cosby

When I was a boy if a girl got pregnant the shame was placed on her and the boy could get away. Bill Cosby

You don't reinvent yourself; you get better with what you do. Bill Cosby

You don't know what you're going to fall in love with until you're exposed to it. Bill Cosby

Brown versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. Bill Cosby

I tell stories. Because I believe you can do things that joke tellers can't do, and that is, bring your audience along. Bill Cosby

There should be more on television that uplifts people and shows them how to better prepare themselves for earning a living. Bill Cosby

When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made. Bill Cosby

I think I am a good running back, but I'm really not that fast. There is only one thing I can do, that is throw a cross-body block. Picture perfect. I love it. Not that good at pass blocking. Bill Cosby

I was 23 years old, a freshman at university, and there I was, on the first day, sitting in a remedial English class. I was so ashamed I almost got up and left, but somehow I knew inside that if I ran away from this, I would hate myself forever. Bill Cosby

I've always heard about people having a conniption, but I've never seen one. Bill Cosby

I never saw anything funny in a car commercial - but that's OK. Whatever they wanted to do - it's their product and I'm the spokesperson, and I'm going to deliver. Bill Cosby

A father... knows exactly what those boys at the mall have in their depraved little minds because he once owned such a depraved little mind himself. In fact, if he thinks enough about the plans that he used to have for young girls, the father not only will support his wife in keeping their daughter home but he might even run over to the mall and have a few of those boys arrested. Bill Cosby

Anyone can dabble, but once you've made that commitment, your blood has that particular thing in it, and it's very hard for people to stop you. Bill Cosby

The problem is that your daughter has given her heart to a 15-year-old boy, and a 15-year-old boy does not yet qualify as a human being. Bill Cosby

Every romance does not lead to sex. Bill Cosby

You can not make everybody happy.. Bill Cosby

All Children Have Brain Damage! Bill Cosby

A Hoyo de Monterrey double corona is my favourite Cuban since Desi Arnaz. Bill Cosby

Beware of people who fall at your feet. They may be reaching for the corner of the rug. Bill Cosby

Don't let your victories go to your head, or your failures go to your heart. Bill Cosby

I recently turned fifty, which is young for a tree, mid-life for an elephant, and ancient for a quarter-miler, whose son now says, "Dad, I just can't run the quarter with you anymore, unless I bring something to read." Bill Cosby

I know people are tired of me not saying anything, but a guy doesn't have to answer to innuendos, Bill Cosby



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