Bill Cosby Quotes & Wallpapers

Bill Cosby
Total Quotes: 399


Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids. Bill Cosby
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My mother was an authority on pig sties. This is the worst looking pigsty I have ever seen in my life, and I want it cleaned up right now. Bill Cosby
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Social networking helps reach people easier and quicker. Bill Cosby
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I love cake. I love pie. I love potato chips. I love salt. I do not want yogurt, plain yogurt. It's healthy. 'Why don't you like it?' Because it tastes like bad breath. Bill Cosby
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George Booth and I are both funny, and from afar, without meeting, admired each other's work. Bill Cosby
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What people are tired of, the people who agree with me, what they're tired of is listening to that sound, the sound of the people who've given up. Bill Cosby
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According to the State of Florida, the person with the gun has the right to defend him or herself. Bill Cosby
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Immortality is a long shot, I admit. But somebody has to be first. Bill Cosby
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If I didn't like poor people, why would I come and tell them how to make their lives better? Bill Cosby
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I don't care what right-wing white people are thinking. Bill Cosby
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I love Twitter, but some people use profanity so much that at some point it's like saying, 'Pass the salt.' Bill Cosby
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I managed my life to the point that at age 19 I was still in high school. I decided I was too old to be walking down those hallways. Bill Cosby
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I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them. Bill Cosby
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I see Obama as Sisyphus in the first four years. And nobody would speak about the size of the rock, or the elevation of the hill. All you hear people talk about is what he didn't do. Bill Cosby
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There are teachers in the United States who cry in the daytime because they see a child or children who haven't eaten properly, children who haven't used soap in so long. Bill Cosby
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There is no job a man can do that is undignified - if he does it well. Bill Cosby
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A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student. Bill Cosby
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A grandchild is God's reward for raising a child. Bill Cosby
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Listen to John Coltrane enough and after two bars, just two bars at any place, and you know that's him. We all have signature things that happen to be similar that you can predict and you try to stay away from that except the rhythms: those pauses, they're part of my signature, the part where I know when I say nothing, I already painted enough, led enough and I don't even have to say anything. But those pauses don't belong to me. Jack Benny was one of the first guys in comedy to make the anticipation so great that during the pause people start to laugh before the execution. Bill Cosby
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You are not going to 'go forth.' You are going to take that damn hat off and you're going to get a job. Bill Cosby
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Ours is a youth culture, and like a golf tournament, we honor only low scores. Bill Cosby
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Fatherhood is asking your son to make up a name rather than tell anybody who he is. Bill Cosby
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As a comedian, I can walk out in front of 5000 people and not worry about a thing. Not a thing, believe me. But to stand up a face a camera and crew of maybe 15 guys and get up tight about it - to me that's weird. Bill Cosby
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My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you. Bill Cosby
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I said to a guy, I said, Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful?, and he said, Well, it intensifies your personality. I said, Yes, but what if you're an asshole? Bill Cosby
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A person with no children says, Well I just love children, and you say Why? and they say, Because a child is so truthful, that's what I love about 'em - they tell the truth. That's a lie, I've got five of 'em. The only time they tell the truth is if they're having pain. Bill Cosby
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You know what my father's favorite game is? Come here and pull my finger. Bill Cosby
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And tired always followed sick. Worst beating I ever got in my life, my mother said, I am just sick... And I said, And tired. I don't remember anything after that. Bill Cosby
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I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?" Bill Cosby
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Take your bottom lip and pull it over your head. Bill Cosby
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The essence of childhood, of course, is play. Bill Cosby
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I brought you in this world, and I can take you out! Bill Cosby
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In spite of the six thousand manuals on child raising in the bookstores, child raising is still a dark continent and no one really knows anything. You just need a lot of love and luck - and, of course, courage. Bill Cosby
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If you want to be seen, stand up. If you want to be heard, speak up. If you want to be appreciated, shut up. Bill Cosby
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I once asked my father for a dollar for the school picnic. He told me how he once killed a grizzly bear with his loose-leaf notebook. Bill Cosby
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My father established our relationship when I was seven years old. He looked at me and said, "You know, I brought you in this world, and I can take you out. And it don't make no difference to me, I'll make another one look just like you. Bill Cosby
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I did not want to turn to playing golf because golf is about as much exercise as shuffling cards. Bill Cosby
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Anecdote: In a controversial way, Comedian and actor Bill Cosby sought to teach his son the pain of being lied to. Convinced his son had been dishonest regarding an issue, Cosby promised that if he told him the truth, he would not hit him. When his son did confess, Cosby did hit him. Seeing his son's shock and hurt, Cosby said he hoped this lesson had deepened his understanding of the anguish generated by a sense betrayal. Bill Cosby
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In your 50s, time becomes precious and must not be wasted. Every minute is an excellent opportunity for a good nap. Happy 50th birthday! Bill Cosby
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Parenting needs to come to the forefront. Bill Cosby
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Through humor, you can soften some of the worst blows that life delivers. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it. Bill Cosby
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The heart of marriage is memories; and if the two of you happen to have the same ones and can savor your reruns, then your marriage is a gift from the gods. Bill Cosby
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I think the part of media that romanticizes criminal behavior, things that a person will say against women, profanity, being gangster, having multiple children with multiple men and women and not wanting to is prevalent. When you look at the majority of shows on television they placate that kind of behavior. Bill Cosby
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Laughter brings out the child in all of us. Bill Cosby
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The first-born in every family is always dreaming for an imaginary older brother or sister who will look out for them. Bill Cosby
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Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Bill Cosby
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Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you're telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much. Bill Cosby
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Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit. Bill Cosby
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I have to follow my thoughts and mine for the gold. I have to dig it out. Bill Cosby
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When I say, I don't care what white people think, I mean that. Bill Cosby
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All parents experience the same problems. Bill Cosby
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There are times my stories become - what I feel - not only accessible to hearing me on television, but they make wonderful reading. Bill Cosby
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You come to my comedy show to be entertained. Bill Cosby
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If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. Bill Cosby
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Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire. Bill Cosby
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I'm one of those who cut off seeing people after a certain time, when the weight is gone and they sound like the dementia is very advanced - I don't want to see that. I don't even go in to look at the body. That's not my last memory. Bill Cosby
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If I read the small print, and I see that what I love to taste has pantonaponamene or fake smeinlioaimine, then I have to hide in my room when I eat it. I'm still gonna eat it, it's just gonna be 'Don't come in here!' Bill Cosby
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I want to get violence - I want schools to start from K through 12 to just every day have teachers understand that they don't want to talk about anything that is violent, and they want to explain to the children how bad violence is and how behavior - violent behavior, is something that they really should not practice and think about. Bill Cosby
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God has not made anything that I know of that pays so much attention to who their father and mother is as us. Bill Cosby
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In September of 1960, I was blessed - and I'm not saying blessed in the everyday religious way - when Temple University accepted me after scoring 500 on the SAT. I was 23 years old, and they put me in remedial. I was the happiest remedial person on earth. Bill Cosby
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Pay off your student loan. Even if you don't have a job...Because when you finally get a job you're going to be one of us. Bill Cosby
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These people marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. Bill Cosby
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Our children are trying to tell us something, and we are not listening. Bill Cosby
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The worst thing to do is to die while reading LIFE magazine. Bill Cosby
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A baseball manager has learned a lot about his job from having played the game, but a parent has not learned a thing from having once been a child. Bill Cosby
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Fatherhood is helping your children learn English as a foreign language. Bill Cosby
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Repeat after me. I promise not to run outside of the house. I promise not to run inside of the house. I promise not to touch, pick up, step on, anything that looks interesting. Bill Cosby
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Well, I really don't know what the secret of success is but I can tell you that the secret of failure is to try to please everyone. Bill Cosby
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There's no labor a man can do that's undignified - if he does it right. Bill Cosby
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I'm going OUT... because I DESERVE to go out! And I'm going to get DRUNK... because I DESERVE to get drunk! And get out of my way! Bill Cosby
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