Bill Cosby Quotes & Wallpapers

Bill Cosby
Total Quotes: 411

The three ingredients of a successful union between two ... humor, commitment & undying love. Bill Cosby

The very first law in advertising is to avoid the concrete promise and cultivate the delightfully vague. Bill Cosby

Fathers are the geniuses of the house because only a person as intelligent as we could fake such stupidity. Bill Cosby

The serve was invented so that the net could play. Bill Cosby

A word to the wise ain't... Bill Cosby

People say "God will find a way." God can't find a way if you're in the way. Bill Cosby

A word to the wise isn't necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice. Bill Cosby

Public education is a good foundation on which to build a better life for each of us. And if we want to prove to these children who never made the mess in the first place that education is worth the trouble, our schools have to inspire them so they can do what they ought to do. Bill Cosby

YOU are a genius!... and I am a genius because I married you. Bill Cosby

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the bosses job...and I don't want it! Bill Cosby

My parents never smiled... because I had brain damage. My wife and I don't smile because our children are LOADED with it!! Oh, my parents smile now, whenever they come over to the house and see how much trouble I'm having. Oh, they have a ball! Havin' a li'l trouble, huh, son?! Bill Cosby

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. "Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are." Bill Cosby

Now, this is the fun part about getting stoned. They get stoned, then they become paranoid. Now, when they started out, they said, "Let's get high and have fun." So they're high; now they're paranoid. "Am I falling out of this chair?" Bill Cosby

And of course, when you see your brother in the toilet bowl...there's a little voice that say, 'I wonder where he would go...'...if it hadn't been for his head... Bill Cosby

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood, but it didn't because parenting can only be learned by people who have no children. Bill Cosby

My observations are not bread crumbs. They do not dissolve. They are on record, on film printed in books, and found on the Internet. I am happy to share them. For this I was born. Bill Cosby

If you speak your mind and if it is true what you're saying, then I think the integrity of what you're saying carries through. Bill Cosby

Civilization had too many rules for me, so I did my best to rewrite them. Bill Cosby

Any man today who returns from work, sinks into a chair, and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger. Bill Cosby

I am not going to give in to people who try to exploit me because of my celebrity status. Bill Cosby

Sometimes I buy my wife flowers. Bill Cosby

There should be marches in every neighborhood every day telling the people about the negativity of drugs and how the drugs help us to behave negatively. Bill Cosby

When I look at 55 percent of our black men dropping out of school, how bad off are we going to be when we need some lawyers? Bill Cosby

I am not afraid of crashing, my secret is . . . just before we hit the ground, I jump as high as I can. Bill Cosby

While fathers are pleasant figureheads, there is a special bond between children and their mothers. 'Do you help your mother clean up the house?' I asked one girl of seven. 'No,' she sweetly replied, 'I help make the mess.' It's a dirty job but somebody's got to do it. Bill Cosby

Dentists tell you not to pick your teeth with any sharp metal object. Then you sit in their chair and the first thing they grab is an iron hook. Bill Cosby

Intellectuals are people who go to study things other people do naturally. Bill Cosby

It's more blessed to give than to receive - especially kittens. Bill Cosby

Anyone who has brought up children knows that consistency has absolutely nothing to do with discipline. Bill Cosby

The childless experts on child raising also bring tears of laughter to my eyes when they say, I love children because they're so honest. There is not an agent in the CIA or the KGB who knows how to conceal the theft of food, how to fake being asleep, or how to forge a parent's signature like a child. Bill Cosby

I'm not the boss of my house. I don't know how I lost it, I don't know when I lost it, I don't really think I ever had it. But I've seen the boss's job...and I don't want it! Bill Cosby

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is to try to please everyone. Bill Cosby

My dad came over to the house... went into his pocket and pulled out a handful of money, and began to pass it out to the children... This was the same man who, when I was his child, I would ask him for 50 cents, this man would tell me his life's story. Bill Cosby

Those who criticize our generation forget who raised it. Bill Cosby

A white person listens to my act and he laughs and he thinks, 'Yeah, that's the way I see it too.' Okay. He's white. I'm Negro. And we both see things the same way. That must mean that we are alike..... So I figure I'm doing as much for good race relations as the next guy. Bill Cosby

That's why ears have cartilage, to keep them from flapping. Bill Cosby

I was a physical education major with a child psychology minor at Temple, which means if you ask me a question about a child's behavior, I will advise you to tell the child to take a lap. Bill Cosby

It's painful, but we can't heal ourselves unless we cleanse the wounds. Bill Cosby

If you listen carefully to what a child is saying to you, you'll see that he has a point to make. So I listen. And I answer them just as seriously as possible. And if I don't know the answer, I'll tell them I don't know. Bill Cosby

What is it about grandparents that is so lovely? I'd like to say that grandparents are God's gifts to children. And if they can but see, hear and feel what these people have to give, they can mature at a fast rate. Bill Cosby

I love it when mothers get so mad they can't remember your name. Come here, Roy, er, Rupert, er, Rutabaga... what is your name, boy? And don't lie to me, because you live here, and I'll find out who you are. Bill Cosby

My wife and I have five children. And the reason why we have five children is because we do not...want...six. Bill Cosby

The dentist drills some more and you hear him make a mistake. And to cover it up, they all say the same thing: "Okay, rinse." Bill Cosby

The measure ov overexposure is not how many times people see you on TV or in the bookstores. It's whether you can maintain the quality of your entertainment. If you can, people will always be glad to see you. Bill Cosby

My father wanted me to play pro football, and he didn't like the fact that I'd left school. And he said, "It takes a man to play football. And any fool can go up on the stage and make an ass of himself. Bill Cosby

My father walked to school 4 o'clock every morning with no shoes on, uphill, both ways, in 5 feet of snow and he was thankful. Bill Cosby

Every closed eye is not sleeping, and every open eye is not seeing. Bill Cosby

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it. Bill Cosby

Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries. Bill Cosby

I feel that in-person contact with people is the most important thing in comedy. While I'm up on stage, I can actually put myself into the audience and adjust my pace and tuning to them. I can get into their heads through their ears and through their eyes. Only through this total communication can I really achieve what I'm trying to do. Bill Cosby

In spite of the seven thousand books of expert advice, the right way to disciplne a child is still a mystery to most fathers and...mothers Only your grandmother and Genghis Khan know how to do it. Bill Cosby

Education happens to be something that all people, all cultures, need to embrace. Math, science, the words of the world. To be able to speak and be able to have clarity and to be able to think. Those are the greatest of gifts. Bill Cosby

Did you ever see the customers in health - food stores? They are pale, skinny people who look half - dead. In a steak house, you see robust, ruddy people. They're dying, of course, but they look terrific. Bill Cosby

There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God. Bill Cosby

A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station. Bill Cosby

Gray hair is God's graffiti. Bill Cosby

The essence of childhood, of course, is play, which my friends and I did endlessly on streets that we reluctantly shared with traffic. Bill Cosby

I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there. Bill Cosby

You can't compete with Walmart. But you can have smaller businesses that are successful. Bill Cosby

People say children are charming because they tell the truth. That's a lie. I've got five of them. They only tell the truth if they're in pain. Bill Cosby

I think if a 30-year-old Bill Cosby sat on stage with a 72-year-old Bill Cosby, they would enjoy each other. Bill Cosby

If you took your child to the dentist and check for cavities, the child likely won't get them. If you take them just for emergency, that's all they're gonna get. Bill Cosby

All around the United States of America - in the cities and the counties - our public education is suffering and has been suffering. Cuts, cuts, cuts. Bill Cosby

I can't negate the theory that the Huxtables on 'The Cosby Show' may have helped pave the way for the Obama family. People enjoyed watching that black family. Bill Cosby

We're not raising children with the love that we need to. Bill Cosby

In all of my career, the style is still the same, and that is of a friend, just sitting and talking. Bill Cosby

And so the dentist says 'Rinse.' So you lean over, and you're lookin' at this miniature toilet bowl. Bill Cosby

Whenever your kids are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God's omnipotence did not extend to His kids. Bill Cosby

A child who is disciplined will be more obedient and also more organized as a student. Bill Cosby

I said to a guy, "Tell me, what is it about cocaine that makes it so wonderful," and he said, "Because it intensifies your personality." I said, "Yes, but what if you're an asshole?" Bill Cosby

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