Anonymous Quotes & Wallpapers

Total Quotes: 4164

Asthma is a disease that has practically the same symptoms as passion except that with asthma it lasts longer. Anonymous

You have two chances - one of getting the germ and one of not. And if you get the germ you have two chances - one of getting the disease and one of not. And if you get the disease you have two chances - one of dying and one of not. And if you die - well, you still have two chances! Anonymous

Don't just do something - sit there! Anonymous

In the old days a man who saved money was a miser; nowadays he's a wonder. Anonymous

Mommies are just big little girls. Anonymous

Mirror, mirror on the wall, I am my mother after all. Anonymous

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't. Some can't. Anonymous

Strong lager and some early Zep tunes. I ask thee, is there a better way to spend an evening? Anonymous

May your bobbin always be full! Anonymous

When I learned to sew, I forgot how to cook. Anonymous

When life throws you scraps, make a quilt. Anonymous

Sewing forever, housework whenever. Anonymous

Quilters never cut corners. Anonymous

Our lives are like quilts - bits and pieces, joy and sorrow, stitched with love. Anonymous

Nurses can take the pressure. Anonymous

You might be a nurse if you firmly believe that too stupid to live should be a diagnosis. Anonymous

A pessimist's blood type is always B-negative. Anonymous

A hole is nothing at all, but you can still break your neck in it. Anonymous

Don't miss the donut by looking through the hole. Anonymous

I think a photography class should be a requirement in all educational programs because it makes you see the world rather than just look at it. Anonymous

When at night you cannot sleep, talk to the Shepherd and stop counting sheep. Anonymous

Those who have lost an infant are never, as it were, without an infant child. Their other children grow into manhood and womanhood, and suffer all the changes of mortality; but this one alone is rendered an immortal child; for death has arrested it with its kindly harshness, and blessed it into an eternal image of youth and innocence. Anonymous

Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. Anonymous

The man whose book is filled with quotations, may be said to creep along the shore of authors, as if he were afraid to trust himself to the free compass of reasoning. Anonymous

How do we know that the sky is not green and we are all colour-blind? Anonymous

Good company upon the road is the shortest cut. Anonymous

There are three religious truths: 1) Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah. 2) Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith. 3) Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at Hooters. Anonymous

Instead of being born again, why not just grow up? Anonymous

The problem with fundamentalists insisting on a literal interpretation of the Bible is that the meaning of words change. A prime example is 'Spare the rod, spoil the child.' A rod was a stick used by shepherds to guide their sheep to go in the desired direction. Shepherds did not use it to beat their sheep. The proper translation of the saying is 'Give your child guidance, or they will go astray.' It does not mean 'Beat the shit out of your child or he will become rotten' as many fundamentalist parents seem to belive. Anonymous

To a runner, a side stich is like a car alarm. It signifies something is wrong, but you ignore it until it goes away. Anonymous

Runners just do it - they run for the finish line even if someone else has reached it first. Anonymous

Prepare and prevent, don't repair and repent. Anonymous

Be alert! Accidents hurt. Anonymous

Better dead sure than sure dead. Anonymous

Wishing won't keep you safe - safety will. Anonymous

I have my own little world, but it's okay - they know me here. Anonymous

A biophysicist talks physics to the biologists and biology to the physicists, but then he meets another biophysicist, they just discuss women. Anonymous

Blessed are the children of scrapbookers, for they shall inherit the scrapbooks. Anonymous

When life gives you scraps, make something with them. Anonymous

Love is a matter of chemistry, but sex is a matter of physics. Anonymous

Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time. Anonymous

I once knew a woman who offered her honor So I honored her offer And all night long I was on her and off her. Anonymous

A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing. Anonymous

If the shoe fits, buy it in every color! Anonymous

The work will wait while you show the child the rainbow, but the rainbow won't wait while you do the work. Anonymous

Only skydivers know why the birds sing. They never have to pack a parachute. Anonymous

You know you're a skydiver when you show up at the drop zone even on the worst-weather days because at least you can sit around drinking beer. Anonymous

Skip like the wind! Anonymous

The world always looks brighter from behind a smile. Anonymous

Every day you spend without a smile, is a lost day. Anonymous

It takes seventeen muscles to smile and forty-three to frown. Anonymous

A smile is something you can't give away; it always comes back to you. Anonymous

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Anonymous

He who can be a good son will be a good father. Anonymous

Man's pity for himself, or for his son, Always premising that said son at college Has not contracted much more debt than knowledge. Anonymous

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand. Anonymous

The more you sweat in practice, the less you bleed in battle. Anonymous

Sometimes God calms the storm. At other times, he calms the sailor. And sometimes he makes us swim. Anonymous

What goes around comes around, just like a flip turn. Anonymous

Taxes: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an automatic extension. Anonymous

I like my new telephone, my computer works just fine, my calculator is perfect, but Lord, I miss my mind! Anonymous

It's difficult to decide whether growing pains are something teenagers have - or are. Anonymous

How come wrong numbers are never busy? Anonymous

Tennis begins with love. Anonymous

How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. Anonymous

There's a book that tells you where you should go on your vacation. It's called your checkbook. Anonymous

There's two to wash, two to dry; There's two who argue, two who cry.... There's two to kiss, two to hug; And best of all, there's two to love! Anonymous

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made of meat? Anonymous

It's not the bullet with my name on it that worries me. It's the one that says To whom it may concern. Anonymous

But a weed is simply a plant that wants to grow where people want something else. In blaming nature, people mistake the culprit. Weeds are people's idea, not nature's. Anonymous

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